What Sarah Said: Sequel to Second Chances
by SarahCullen17
Summary: One year after "Second Chances", newly engaged Bella is reunited with Jacob. She's enjoying her life with Edward and her best friend, but her leukemia comes back with a vengeance. When she is forced to rely on both men in her life, how will they react?
1. Question

**Author's Note:** This story is a sequel to my first story, "Second Chances". If you have not read the first story, please go read it before you read this one. It will clear a lot of things up.

If you read "Second Chances" but need a recap, here it is:

Five years after Edward leaves Bella, she is still heartbroken and diagnosed with leukemia. Edward, who has earned his medical degree and is now a doctor at a London hospital, sees this diagnosis through Alice's visions and takes the family to Seattle to care for Bella...under the guise of Carlisle. Bella starts to fight cancer and chemotherapy with Carlisle, unaware that Edward is lying next to her every night and treating her condition. Edward struggles to stay away from Bella, and his family begins to question his decision to stay away. Finally, with some secret plotting between Alice and Emmett, Edward has no choice but to reveal himself to Bella. She welcomes him with open arms and they fall in love all over again. The Cullen family now surrounds Bella and they plan a scheme to get her out of the hospital for one night--for a date with Edward. This date reveals how much they love each other and where they see their future going. It's an unclear future as Edward wants a human, platonic marriage and Bella wants promiscuous immortality. However, one thing is sure: Edward will never leave her again.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Twilight_, because I'm not Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter One: "Question" Bella's POV

I woke up to an empty bed--something that did not often happen nowadays. A little confused, I forced my sleepy eyes to brave the sunlight and scan the bedroom for my roommate.

He wasn't there.

"Edward?" I called, falling back on the bed and shielding my eyes from the bright light with a pillow. "Edward?"

"I'm here, love," he said, and I felt the pressure of his body as he crawled on the huge mattress toward me. He lifted the pillow from my face and kissed my lips quickly. "Peek-a-boo."

I laughed. "Good morning," I said, rolling on top of him. "Where were you?"

"Talking to Esme on the phone," he shrugged, taking my face in his hands. "She wants us to come over for dinner tonight."

"That sounds good," I nodded. "Are we having mountain lion or elk?"

He rolled his eyes. "_You _are probably having tilapia fish or something to that effect. _We _will be eating nothing."

"I know," I groaned. "That was my attempt at a joke."

He smiled. "How is it that you look so beautiful with no makeup on and a bed-head?" His fingers gently wove through my hair. It was cut in a short bob that I hated--the little bit of hair that had grown back after my experience with chemotherapy. But, as Alice pointed out everyday, it was growing longer.

And, of course, I loved having Edward run his fingers through it, no matter how short it was.

I shrugged. "You've been rubbing off on me," I said.

He laughed and pulled my face to his so his lips could move against mine. A minute later, he stopped. My lips automatically slipped into a pout.

"Don't give me that evil look," he chided me. "I stopped for a reason."

"Oh?" I sat up so I was straddling him and ran my fingers down his cold, bare chest. It was the most I had seen of him.

"Yes," he nodded. "I sort of have a question."

I looked at him suspiciously. "I am _not_ going to let you buy me a new car."

He sighed. "Not that, love. Can you close your eyes?"

"Why?" I asked dully. I hated surprises.

"Because I have a surprise for you and I want it to be just that--a surprise."

"Fine," I sulked, covering my eyes with my palms.

I was distracted as I felt his very cold hand touch my leg and move it. I had worn shorts to bed last night--the skimpiest outfit I could get away with. He gently rubbed my thigh as he pulled something out of his pocket. A second later, he patted my leg. "Okay. I'm ready."

"I can actually look now?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes. Don't be difficult."

I laughed and removed my hands from my eyes, but I kept my eyes closed. "If this cost a lot of money, I'm going to be really angry with you."

"It didn't cost anything, my love. Open your eyes."

I did, and I froze.

Wedged between his thumb and forefinger was a glittering diamond ring. I covered my mouth with my hands and stared at his face--he looked exuberantly and unequivocally happy. There was also something else in his eyes that I recognized. _What is it?_

And then it hit me.

Hope.

"Isabella Marie Swan?" he murmured softly. "I love you more than life--you _are_ my life. So will you spend the rest of your life with me as my wife? As Mrs. Bella Cullen?"

I didn't say anything, frozen in shock.

He tried to suppress his laugh, but failed miserably. The crooked smile I loved most escaped along with a chuckle. "I guess I'm asking…will you marry me?"

And suddenly, the world made sense. I was twenty-four years old, in bed with the man I loved, and he was practically begging me to spend the rest of my life with him. Marriage suddenly made sense.

And so I nodded. "Yes," I breathed. "Yes, I will!"

Shock dominated his face. "Thank you," he gasped. At inhuman speed, he had my left hand and was sliding the ring onto the appropriate finger. Not even bothering to admire the surely-beautiful ring, I laid down on top of him and kissed his mouth openly.

"I love you," he whispered under my kiss.

"I love you, too," I whispered back after I pulled away.

He smiled, radiating pure joy--and smugness. "My fiancée," he gloated, taking my hand and kissing it.

I groaned. "I sound so _old_."

He laughed. "What made you say yes?"

I shrugged. "I don't want to argue. And there is something about the name _Bella Cullen_."

He nodded. "I like it, too."

"I hope you do," I grinned. "You're going to be hearing it for a very long time."

"Good," he breathed. "I'm so ready for it."

I smiled and kissed him again. He wrapped his arm around my waist and rolled over so we were on our sides. Laughing, he started caressing my neck with his lips. Curious, I looked at my new ring.

It was beautiful and expensive-looking, but simple. It looked like an antique. "Seriously," I said. "How much was this?"

"Nothing," he said. "I inherited it from my mother. Do you like it?"

It was gorgeous and unique--just like Edward. "I _love _it," I told him. "It's beautiful."

"Just like you."

I chuckled sarcastically as I thought of how he had just compared me to something that reminded me of him. Somehow, it didn't fit. I wasn't anything like this Greek-god-like creature who was now kissing along my collarbone.

"God, that feels good," I breathed as I felt his tongue lick at my clavicle. I was a little bitter, though. We had been "together again" for a year, and we hadn't had sex at all. However, he insisted on being a tease, going shirtless and using his _tongue_ on my skin. Not that I was complaining--it was great.

But I was so sick of being _teased_.

"Mmm," he said. "I guess you know you're having an engagement party tonight."

"What?" I asked. "Dinner?"

He chuckled. "Yes. Alice has been planning this since she first got the first inkling of my intentions."

"_Greeeat_," I sighed dramatically. "I don't suppose I have a choice."

"No, you don't," he said perkily. "Get used to it. You're about to be a Cullen, too."

"I love the sound of that," I told him, taking his hand in mine so I could lace my fingers through his. "We don't have to get out of bed until this afternoon, do we?"

He laughed. "I guess I can bear a day in bed, snuggling next to you. God bless electric blankets."

"Agreed," I nodded, sliding further into the hot cloth. Knowing that I was getting even warmer, he pulled me close and kissed my mouth.

"I am so happy," he told me a minute later.

"Me, too," I admitted. "Though I'm worried about the party."

"Mrs. Bella Cullen," he murmured, kissing my neck and intentionally ignoring my comment.

"Mrs. _Edward_ Cullen," I added.

"Isabella Swan Cullen…" His lips traced a line up to my face. "I love you."

I laughed as his cold lips tickled various parts of my face. "I love you, too." Just as his lips pressed underneath my jaw, I said, "Do you think we can skip the party tonight without hurting Esme's feelings? I'm not afraid of Alice, but I don't want to be rude to Esme."

He sighed and put his mouth to my ear. "Bella?" he whispered.

"Yes?"

"Shut up and let me kiss you."

And then his mouth crushed mine.


	2. Missing

**Author's Note: **Finally, a chapter from a character I have sadly overlooked. I'm quite excited about this story. Also, I was really bored and decided to post a playlist for _Second Chances_ onto my profile. Check it out and tell me what you think. If you don't understand why I chose a certain song for a certain chapter, ask me! I'll be happy to explain everything. (I'm also going to add a playlist for this story, as well.)

**Disclaimer**: _Twilight _is owned by a genius named Stephenie Meyer. Who is not me.

Chapter Two: "Missing" Jacob's POV

"Jake, you're not going to eat burger number four?" Quil asked, his eyes on my plate.

"Uh, no, you can have it," I told him, handing him the paper plate that was still heaped with food. "I'm absolutely full."

Numerous pairs of dark eyes stared at me in shock. A few mouths fell open.

"What?" I asked.

"You're…full?" Seth asked, unbelieving.

"Yeah…" I said, confused. And then it hit me. "Oh. Guys, come on. I'm only running around as a human nowadays, so I don't need as many calories as you do."

"Of course," Emily said, being polite. "I hope you saved room for some brownies, though."

Paul rolled his eyes. "Jacob, what's the point? I mean, don't you _like_ being a werewolf? Being free?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, Paul. I just want to be normal again. I feel like I've lost a lot for this life."

"Bella," I saw Quil mouth to Embry. I quickly elbowed him in the side.

"What?" he groaned, rubbing his ribs.

I opened my mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the sweet voice that was approaching the bonfire. "Hey, guys," Sarah said, carrying a platter of cookies. "I'm sorry I'm so late. Work was crazy tonight."

"It's fine," Quil told her, instantly in a better mood. "Did you bring snicker-doodles?"

"Of course!" she said. She placed the platter on the table and brought Quil a cookie. My arms opened for her as she sat in my lap and kissed my cheek.

"Hey, baby," I told her. "I'm really glad you could make it."

"Me, too," Sarah said. "I'm tired, though. I don't think I can pull an all-nighter."

"Then why did you come to a werewolf soiree?" Embry asked with his mouth full.

"To see my baby," Sarah replied. "Don't be jealous."

I laughed and wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm ready to see _my_ baby," Sam said, pulling the very pregnant Emily into his lap and rubbing her belly. "The kid needs to hurry up and come out."

"And you're not even carrying her," Emily rolled her eyes. "I'm so uncomfortable."

"Did you guys ever decide on a name?" I asked them, accepting a cookie from Sarah so I wouldn't hurt her feelings.

"We were thinking 'Sophie'," Emily said. "Sophie Marie."

I was amazed at how the name "Marie" brought back a flood of memories. Afternoons in my garage…repairing the motorcycles that I would eventually regret…laughing at absurd things…worrying about why my companion was so pale and lifeless…

I quickly shook off the memories.

"That's a precious name," Sarah enthused. "She's going to be gorgeous."

"And spoiled," I added. "With this many uncles and aunts, it's inevitable."

Sam and Emily laughed. Quil was--for once--polite enough to swallow his food before saying, "Let's hope she's not as bratty as Claire is."

"The brat part rubbed off of you," Paul remarked, tossing a stick into the bonfire we were crowded around. "I bet she was the sweetest child before she met you."

"Probably," Quil agreed. "Jared, toss me that brownie. Hey, when are you two going to have kids?"

Jared's wife Kim blushed. "We're not thinking about that right now."

Embry shrugged good-naturedly. "That's cool. Jake and Sarah? What about you?"

Now _I_ was blushing. "Oh, um," I stammered.

Sarah laughed--she always knew how to fix an awkward moment. "Embry! Jacob can't even decide what species he wants to be and you want him to have a kid?"

"Yeah," I added lamely. "Good point, Sarah."

She grinned and squeezed my hand.

I felt guilty for the rest of the night, even when the topic turned from babies and marriage to video games and cars. Why did I feel guilty? Because my girlfriend of two years was sitting in my lap, talking about love and marriage and children, and I was still thinking about my first love--the one I was forced to give up when the werewolf gene kicked in. Though I loved Sarah dearly, she just didn't have the same hold on me that Bella once had. But my romantic relationship with Bella had never even existed, and I highly doubted that she even thought of me anymore. Maybe her bloodsucker was once again in her life. As much as I wanted her to be happy, I didn't want _that_.

Sarah picked up on my sad thoughtfulness, because her large blue eyes studied my face intently while everyone else chatted and laughed. She was perceptive enough to point out my tension later as I walked her to her car.

"Jake, sweetie," she said, taking my hand. "You're so tense, your fists are balled up and your veins are bulging."

I furrowed my brow as I studied my fists, realizing she was right. "Yeah," I murmured. "I'm just thinking about…stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" she asked, hooking a piece of brown wavy hair behind her ear.

_Well, I can't tell you the truth. _"Just some stuff with the pack," I told her. "You know how it goes. Even though I'm no longer in the circle of thoughts, I still have to deal with Leah and all of that."

Sarah nodded. "Yeah, I understand. You know I'm here if you want to talk."

"Yeah, I know, honey," I told her.

"Good." She smiled and wrapped her small arms around my waist. "Since I'm too short to actually do it myself, can you kiss me?"

I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face as I bent to kiss her lips softly. Her arms wrapped around my neck and I picked her up as I kissed her. My heart thudded loudly as I felt her tongue barely running across my lips.

Finally, when I had to take a breather, I sighed. "If Billy wasn't home, I would make you stay with me," I teased her.

"Too bad," she sighed. "But I have work tomorrow so that probably wouldn't be a good idea anyway."

"Good point," I admitted. She worked two jobs--it felt like she was always working.

She grinned. "And it's late, so you need to let me go home and go to bed."

"You're probably right," I agreed. "Another kiss?"

She giggled and kissed me again. When she pulled away, she said, "Okay, now I really have to go! I'm going to oversleep."

I laughed and set her back on her feet. "Good night, Sarah. Call me and let me know when you get home."

"I will. Good night, sweetie. I love you."

"I love you, too." I opened the car door and watched as her petite body slid into the driver's seat.

Later, as I was walking from First Beach to my house, Quil and Embry suddenly joined me, startling me. "God, you guys," I groaned. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"You're losing your heightened senses," Quil rolled his eyes. "Way to leave your species behind."

"Shut up, Quil," Embry said. "I'm actually more interested in something else."

"What's that?" I asked, not interested at all.

"Why are you so emo tonight?" Embry asked. "It was like as soon as we started talking babies, you faded away."

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I don't want to think about that stuff."

"Sarah's going to insist on marriage soon, you know," Embry remarked. "You're going to have to face commitment sometime."

"It's not commitment I'm afraid of," I stated matter-of-factly.

"What is it, then?" Quil asked. "Or should I say, _who_ is it?"

"I just--I'm not interested in having a wife and kids."

Embry and Quil exchanged a look that told me they weren't convinced at all.

"Ugh, fine," I admitted. "I just…don't feel for Sarah as strongly as I felt for Bella Swan. It doesn't feel…complete."

"I thought you loved Sarah," Quil said.

"I do," I replied. "I adore Sarah. But something is missing."

"Well," Embry said thoughtfully. "It's not like you imprinted on Sarah. Do you feel that's what you're missing?"

"I don't think so," I replied. "I didn't imprint on Bella, either."

Quil nodded. "You would have killed yourself by now if you did."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Especially with the whole cancer thing. God, I hate that."

"I do, too," Embry said. "How is she doing?"

"Fine, I guess," I shrugged. "Billy doesn't tell me much, but last I heard, Charlie Swan said she was healthy and taking a break from school."

"Cool," Quil and Embry said at the same time.

I shrugged again. "Whatever. Do you guys think I should settle down with Sarah?"

"Do whatever you want to," Quil said, kicking at a rock.

"Dude, Sarah is _hot_," Embry added. "You don't want to lose that."

I nodded. "Yeah, she is." She was short and petite, with deep blue eyes, soft features, and brown hair. I had decided long ago that her hair was my favorite physical part of her--there was plenty to run my fingers through.

"Those blue eyes," Embry enthused. "Gotta love her."

"You know, she kinda looks like Bella," Quil remarked.

I froze. "No, she doesn't," I denied.

"Dude, she does," Embry said, raising his eyebrows at Quil. "Think about it, Jake. Long, thick brown hair. Pale. Small. Even a thin nose like Bella's."

I shook my head. "Nah. I don't see the resemblance. Sarah has blue eyes. Bella has brown."

Quil snorted. "You're blind."

We had made it to Billy's house by then. I managed to get away from them and into my bedroom without any interference from Billy. As I collapsed on my too-small bed, I continued to think about Bella and Sarah.

_Chill, Jake. You know you love Sarah. You're in love with Sarah._

It was true. Thinking of her beautiful face, I closed my eyes and started to drift off to sleep.

Just before unconsciousness took over, I had one more thought about Bella.

_She has probably found someone, anyways. What a lucky guy he is._


	3. Family

**Author's Note:** Here is the third chapter! I am so sorry I've practically deserted you guys. I've been on vacation for a while and was laptop-less. I couldn't wait to get home and update my story, since I was imagining and writing it whenever I had the chance! So finally, here is a fun chapter…with a _Twilight _movie reference.

But before I begin, I would like to publicly respond to reviewers, because I have a feeling there are a few people who are interested in this:

**WL Chastain**--While Edward's determination to keep Bella human _will _be a subplot, the main plots will be much more pressing and interesting. So buckle in for a surprising ride!

**Codedotty**--I promise that Jacob will _not_ boot Edward out of the story. I never liked Edward's absence and I don't like to write about it. Edward might just have to share the spotlight for a little while.

And finally, to my favorite reviewer…

**..fanfiction.**--Jake's decisions on phasing and dating will be explained in coming chapters, straight out of his head. Things are going to get interesting.

Now that explanations are taken care of, on to the story!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bella, Edward, or Jacob…or anyone else in this story! Thank you, Stephenie Meyer!

Chapter Three: "Family" Bella's POV

"You look gorgeous," Edward gushed as soon as I stepped out of our shared closet.

"You think?" I asked doubtfully, looking down at the dress that Alice had "found on sale". Looking back at his face, I said, "I think it's kind of over the top."

"Nah, I like it," he said. "That dress has a certain effect on me…"

I blushed, surprised at his choice of words, and looked down at the low-cut neckline. "And what effect would that be?"

He laughed and pulled me close. "Come here, silly."

I laid my head on his chest and inhaled deeply, relishing his one-of-a-kind scent. A second later, I realized he was also enjoying my scent. "Do I smell good?" I teased.

He grinned. "Yes. You smell exactly like yourself."

I loved to hear him admit this because it somehow confirmed my healthiness--my remission. I was determined that the leukemia would never destroy my life again. I had already secretly decided that if Alice detected one malignant cell in my future, Carlisle would change me immediately.

Edward didn't know this.

And if this happened, there was nothing Edward could do about it.

Bringing me back to the present, he softly kissed my hair just before his phone rang. Grinning, he answered it. "Hello, Alice. We are about to be on our way."

While he talked to Alice, I went and found the pair of heels that she had laid beside my new dress. Edward came and found me a minute later, twirling a set of car keys around his finger. "Ready, beautiful?"

"I guess," I grumbled, taking his hand so we could walk out the apartment.

He chuckled. "I should warn you--we have a long drive ahead of us."

"Where are we going?" I asked. "Antarctica?"

He opened the front door for me and locked it behind us. "You can't drive to Antarctica."

"Hey, you're a vampire," I whispered. "You can do anything you want."

"If only that were true," he said as we walked down the stairs. "I could put you on my back and swim to Antarctica. You'd probably die of hypothermia, though."

"You're a doctor. You could fix it."

"By what? Wrapping you in whale blubber?"

I crinkled my nose. "Eww. So where are we really going?"

"Forks," he said simply, leading me to his car.

"Forks?" I asked, surprised. "_Why?_"

He opened the passenger's side for me. "Alice left her party decorations in the house we have there, and she said it would be more convenient to have the party there. I didn't bother to say that it was only more convenient for her."

"Carlisle and Esme didn't sell the house?" I asked.

"No, we don't sell any of our real estate." He closed the door and walked at a human pace to his side of the car. When he sat down and started the engine, he apologized. "Sorry about the slowness. Somebody was watching us out the window."

I rolled my eyes. "Most people move at human speed, you know."

Once he hit the highway, Edward drove at one-hundred miles per hour, so the ride wasn't long at all. He stared at me the whole time he drove down his old winding driveway, and I realized he still had it memorized.

I opened my own door to get out of the car, making him frown disapprovingly at me. I ignored him and stared at the very familiar house I hadn't seen in years. "It looks exactly the same," I stated. "The paint isn't even peeling."

Edward smiled fondly. "Esme has kept it in shipshape. This feels like home, for some reason. Maybe it's the memories I have here…the memories with you."

Surprising me, he picked me up and flung me over his shoulder so I was riding piggyback. "Wow, I haven't done this here in a long time," I said, kissing his neck.

He laughed. "Are you ready?"

"Um…no…"

He laughed again as he walked up the porch steps. "It'll be fine. You look unbelievable."

I felt the nostalgia creeping on me as we entered the foyer. Esme hadn't changed the white-on-white color palette at all. It felt utterly familiar. Like Edward had said, it felt like _home_.

My marveling was interrupted by a bright flash. I jumped as I saw a complete human stranger hidden behind a big, expensive camera.

"Ahh!" Alice squealed as she bounded into the foyer with the rest of the Cullens on her heels. Edward gently slid me off his back so Alice could envelop me in a hug.

"Congratulations, you two!" she said brightly. "Let me see the ring!"

"As if you haven't already," I smiled, holding my hand out. Esme and Rosalie crowded around to _ooh _and _ahh_. After they had a satisfying look at every angle and glimmer of the diamonds, Esme pulled both me and Edward into a hug. "I'm so happy," she said, kissing both of our cheeks. "I finally have another daughter. Well, officially."

"Come into the living room!" Carlisle insisted, hugging and kissing me next. "Maybe we can make my future daughter-in-law a little more comfortable."

I smiled at him and took Edward's hand to follow everyone into the living room. Alice took my other hand. "Edward," she sighed. "I know that you ruined the surprise. She was supposed to think that we were just having dinner."

"I'm sorry," he grinned at her. He was smiling a lot tonight--that made me happy. "Do you really think I could get her into a dress for just _dinner_?"

"Good point," Alice sighed. "I'll have to fulfill my sisterly duties and improve her fashion sense."

Suddenly, Emmett lifted me into a huge bear hug, bringing my feet off the ground. "You couldn't get her dressed, you say?" he chortled at Edward.

I blushed severely, but Edward just smacked his favorite brother in the back of his head. Emmett ignored him and squeezed me tightly. "Welcome to the family, little sister."

"Put her down before you break her bones," Rosalie hissed.

"Chill, Rose," Emmett said. "Maybe we can induct her into the family with a few broken bones."

"That's probably a bad idea," I interrupted. "Hazing is illegal in Washington, you know."

"Exactly," Edward agreed. "So why don't you let me have my fiancée?"

Emmett grinned mischievously and tossed me into the air. I wasn't scared--I knew Edward would catch me. I had unfortunately become the target of this rough play between Emmett, Jasper, and Edward.

As I landed in his hard arms, I noticed the repeating flashes. "Alice, you hired a photographer?" I whispered.

She grinned angelically. "I had to document your engagement party, of course."

I rolled my eyes and concentrated on the living room. Alice had definitely gone all out--lit candles were everywhere, along with bouquets of roses in every color imaginable. There was a table of food, with a small but beautiful white cake decorated with yellow marzipan roses.

"Wow," I said. "This is gorgeous."

"Of course it is," Alice said. "Can we have some pictures?"

I posed with Edward in front of the cake and next to a rose arrangement. The photographer was very demanding, ordering Edward to hold me this way and kiss me that way. Of course Alice made us pose with the entire family and then with each individual member of the family. Emmett made a serious picture impossible, crossing his eyes or doing the elementary-school trick of "rabbit ears" behind my head. The poor photographer finally got one of both of us laughing. My picture with Rosalie was even harder. We stood inches apart, not touching, both of us giving fake smiles. My awkward smile was a lot wider than hers, but undoubtedly a lot less attractive.

The party really wasn't that bad at all. After the posed pictures, I stayed wrapped in Edward's arms, talking with everyone but Rosalie. Esme and Alice were throwing out ideas for the wedding, while Jasper and Emmett were coming up with hazing practices that Edward kept forbidding. Carlisle sort of straddled the fence, commenting on both conversations with humor and happiness.

Finally, Alice clapped her hands. "Presents!" she announced.

I groaned. "Aren't you supposed to give presents at the bridal shower?"

"Don't worry," Carlisle laughed as Alice danced into another room. "You'll have plenty of those when that time comes. But don't worry, Bella. Tonight they're just little things."

Alice brought two boxes wrapped in white paper and blue bows. "This is for both of you from me," she announced, handing me the larger box.

"Why don't you open it?" I asked Edward. "You're likely to enjoy it more."

Everyone laughed, but I saw Edward cast Jasper a concerned look as my future brother-in-law's face fell. My heart sank as I realized what Jasper was probably thinking. How familiar this situation was! A party for me in the Cullens' living room with presents that I was hesitant to open. I realized that Jasper probably had very bad memories of the last party we had held in this house.

"I already know what it is," Edward replied, watching Jasper out of the corner of his eye.

"Okay, I'll open it," I said quickly.

I managed to peel back the paper without nicking myself. Inside the box was a thick book titled _Your Wedding Planner_. Already knowing what I would find inside, I flipped through the pages. Tons of notes and appointments were already neatly written in Alice's perfect handwriting.

"Thanks, Alice," I said. "I'm sure you'll enjoy using this."

Everyone laughed.

"And this one is technically from me and Carlisle, though everyone played a part in it," Esme said, handing me the smaller box.

"Thank you," I told her as I untied the blue ribbon and pulled the top off the box. A silver necklace was inside, the small-ish pendant displaying a very familiar symbol.

"A Cullen crest," I murmured. "Just like everyone else's." I touched it softly and looked up to see the others' crests. Rings for Esme and Carlisle, wristbands for Edward and his brothers, and two different necklaces for Alice and Rosalie. "It's perfect," I said, stroking it. "I love it!"

"We all decided that you would probably like a small necklace best," Esme said. "You aren't a very flashy person."

"This is perfect," I assured her. "It's exactly what I would have picked out." Edward pulled the necklace out of the box and turned me around so he could clasp it around my neck.

"Though you've been part of the family for a very long time, we felt this would be an appropriate and meaningful occasion to give you a crest," Esme continued.

"It means a lot," I said, tears springing to my eyes as I looked it around my neck.

"I'm glad," Esme said, pulling me into a hug.

I laughed as the camera flashed. When she pulled away, I hissed to Alice, "Thanks for making me look fashionable for these pictures."

"Oh, silly Bella," she rolled her eyes. "You and Edward have a photo shoot tomorrow. So I'll be doing you the favor _again_."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Edward put a cold hand over my lips. "Shh, love. Don't even argue. We have a cake to eat."

I raised an eyebrow at the plural in his sentence, but then remembered that they had to keep up the human façade for the photographer. I felt a little overwhelmed as I thought of how vital this charade would be to my life as a Cullen…as a vampire, as Alice had predicted a year ago.

"Besides," Alice added. "The constant beauty and pictures are just part of being in this family, so get used to it."

Yet another necessity to worry about. Constantly pretending to be a different species and constantly being subjected to Alice's fun. I was dreading it already.

But, like she said, I was in this family. So I would have to get used to it.


	4. Awkward

**Author's Note:**__Here's the new chapter. Jake's chapter is coming up next. Hopefully I'll have it posted this weekend. Final exams are this coming week so it'll be pretty tedious.

Also, my computer glitched out and for some reason changed the text in my last chapter. I tried to fix it but it's not working and therefore would not let me type the correct name. When I listed review responses, the last response was for **..fanfiction. **She happens to be an incredible reviewer and writer. Thanks, Kelsey!

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer wrote some great stories. I write some less-than-great stories about her characters. But the beauty of fan fiction is…that is totally allowed!

Chapter Four: "Awkward" Bella's POV

"Edw_ah_d!" the high-pitched male voice called from across the woods. "Edwahd, dear. Stand at that tree." Paolo waved his arms. "Now Bella, go to _that_ tree."

I sighed and left our previous pose of arms wrapped around each other to go to the indicated tree. Edward blew a kiss and an encouraging smile to me. Needless to say, I wasn't pleased with being the top model.

"Now, Bella. I want you to run and jump into Edwahd's arms." Paolo put his camera back to his eye. "Now."

_Okay, this is where I draw the line._ "Paolo?" I called.

"Yes?"

"I'm sure you've noticed that Alice made me wear stilettos," I said dryly.

"Yes, the Christian Louboutins. They're fabulous. What's your point?"

Ignorant to whatever he was talking about, I exhaled sharply. "I'll break my neck if I run in these." I glared at Edward as he snickered.

"Ugh, Bella," Paolo sighed. "Fine. Take them off."

"Are…you…serious?"

"Yes, yes! You are wasting my time!"

"Please, Bella?" Edward called. "Let's get this over with."

I almost giggled as I saw Paolo glare at Edward's comment. I sighed and unhooked the buckled stilettos from my ankles, throwing them down.

"Now, Bella," Paolo sighed for the millionth time.

I uttered a prayer for grace and patience before running slowly.

"Jump!" Paolo shouted.

I leapt right into Edward's waiting arms, amazed at my grace and proficiency. Edward surprised me by instantly meeting me with a kiss. My legs kicked up as he held me there, kissing me.

"Beautiful!" Paolo called. "Now pull away and smile at each other."

We both obeyed. Edward was smiling his crooked smile, which made me beam widely.

"Perfect! Edwahd! Have you ever considered modeling?"

My fiancé set me on my feet and I went to get my shoes. Paolo had asked Edward this question at least four times today. I leaned against the tree as I buckled the shoes around my ankles.

"_Bella?_" asked a surprised, familiar, husky voice.

Shock radiated through my body. I quickly turned to see a white t-shirted stomach at my eyelevel.

I fell over as my eyes traveled to the clearly Native American face. My butt hit the ground, my right hand scraping against the tree trunk I had been leaning against.

"Whoa, Bella," Jacob Black sighed as he bent too help me up. "You're still clumsy? Are you alright?"

Years of vampire-sensitivity made me check my scraped hand first. "No blood, no foul," I breathed in relief.

His eyes seemed to darken. "Uh…yeah. Here, let me help you." He extended his hand.

As I looked up at his face, I noticed something I had never seen there before. There was a lot of maturity--he was no longer sixteen; that was obvious. But there was something much more pressing--some sadness and even weariness, a look that is unique to adults. It didn't look right on his handsome face.

My childhood friend was an _adult_. How strange.

Realizing I was still sitting on my bottom like a child, I quite ungraciously ignored his hand and gripped the tree trunk to stand up. "I've…uh…got it."

"Okay…" he frowned. "So how are you?"

I was confused by his question. He didn't say it in mere conversation, but in _interest_. Jacob Black seemed to care about my life.

How strange.

"Uh, I'm good," I stammered. "How are you?"

"Fine," he said unconvincingly, making me wonder what was wrong. "What are you doing here in Forks? I thought you lived in Seattle."

"I do," I said. "I'm…uh…" I was interrupted by the snapping of a twig behind me. Jacob's eyes bulged as a cold hand touched my bare shoulder.

"Bella," Edward said softly, brushing my hair from my ear to kiss it. "We're going to take a hike for some pictures."

"Okay," I murmured. Jacob's eyes bored into my face. "Uh, Edward," I said, taking his hand. "You remember Jacob Black?"

"I do," Edward said politely, reaching out to shake Jacob's hand. Panic overtook my mind. _What is Edward doing, letting Jacob feel his unnatural coldness?_

But Jacob didn't react. He just crinkled up his nose as if there was a bad smell and firmly shook Edward's hand.

"It's a pleasure," Edward said, flawlessly polite even though his nose was also wrinkled up.

Jacob nodded. "I thought you had moved to LA," he said, almost in an accusing tone.

"I did," Edward lied. "But I came to Seattle to go to college, met Bella by chance, and now here we are, taking our pictures for our wedding announcements."

Jacob's eyes did the bulging thing again. "Wedding? You're _engaged_?"

"Yeah," I said weakly, holding my left hand up so he could see the ridiculously and mournfully beautiful ring. "Since yesterday."

Jacob swallowed noisily, and I noticed his veins were standing out of his clenched fists. "I see. Well...congratulations."

"Thank you," I peeped.

"Yeah," he said huskily. "You're a lucky guy, Edward."

"I know," Edward nodded in conviction. "Thank you."

"Sure, sure."

I smiled at his old familiar expression. He caught my grin and returned it.

"Bella," Edward said. "Paolo has agreed to hike up to the meadow. So should we go?"

I sighed. "_Why?_"

"I want some portraits of your beautiful self," he smiled at me.

Jacob snorted. "You love being the center of attention, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Totally."

"Well, I'll let you get to that," Jacob said. "It was nice seeing you."

"You, too," I quickly nodded. "I'm sure that Billy will get a wedding invitation. I would love for you to come. There will probably be some great food. I remember you like that." I smiled at him.

"Sure, sure. I gotta go. 'Bye, Bella. 'Bye, Edward." His voice hardened around Edward's name.

"'Bye, Jacob," I said.

He quickly and gracefully ran in the opposite direction.

"That was awkward," I muttered, disappointed at the chilliness and still so confused about why he wanted to talk to me after all these years of silence.

"He was surprised to see me," Edward said softly. "He hates me."

"Why?" I asked as Edward squatted down to buckle my shoes around my feet.

He sighed sadly, a look of shame and self-hatred on his face. "He still remembers your…reaction…to my absence."

My mood dropped even further as my memory ran to the unhappy months with Jacob as my sunshine, and the exponentially unhappier years without him.

Edward stood up and took my hand as we walked to Paolo. "I had no idea you were _that _stricken. I've seen it through Alice's visions, of course, and Charlie's memories, but Jacob had a different perspective. He…_loved_ you in a way that no one but me can understand."

"Those sad days are over," I said firmly. "We are concentrating on our pending marriage right now."

"And your health," he reminded me with a gentle smile.

"Yes, my health." I squeezed his hand. "That's not the only reason Jake was awkward, was it?"

"I forget how perceptive you are," he sighed before pausing so Paolo could snap pictures of us walking hand-in-hand. Edward's voice dropped to a whisper. "He feels guilty for abandoning you for Sam Uley's…_pack_." His voice faltered like Jacob's had when he said Edward's name.

"I was going to say _cult_," I offered as I noticed Paolo was now behind us, taking pictures of our backs.

A strange smile lit Edward's face. "That could work, too," he chuckled.

I stopped walking to look at him with raised eyebrows. "Wait a second. You can tell me what that whole gang is about."

Edward innocently shook his head and started walking again. "Jacob wasn't thinking about it, therefore I don't know the story. But I do know that Jacob is barely involved in it anymore. He only hangs out with the group. He no longer takes part in whatever it is a reservation gang does."

"Good," I sighed in relief. "What else was he thinking about?"

"A girl named Sarah. His girlfriend, it seems. Or hook-up buddy, as Emmett calls them."

A smile cracked my pallid expression. "That's good! What is she like?"

Edward shrugged and formed a look of disgust. "I only saw her face. And her naked body. Jacob obviously hasn't grown out of the mental fantasies so common in adolescent males."

I froze as my stomach turned. "That's just lovely," I hissed, the comment dripping with sarcasm.

"What, love?" He stopped walking and put an icy hand to the side of my face.

"Excuse me," Paolo interrupted. "My time is limited, and if I have to hike, then we must hurry."

"Right," Edward said quickly. "I'll help you carry your equipment."

A few minutes later, Edward returned and tossed me onto his back. We started walking at a human pace through the woods. I noticed Edward took extra care to make sure my dress wasn't showing anything it shouldn't. Which kind of pissed me off, in a weird way.

"Love, your body is tense," he whispered. "What's wrong?"

"You…saw…her…naked?" I sputtered.

His face looked utterly confused. "Sweetheart," he whispered. "I can't help it. You know I see a million faces and bodies a day."

Hot, irrational tears sprang to my eyes. "But you saw Jacob Black's girlfriend. And you haven't even seen your own fiancée?"

"Bella, you know how I feel about this," he sighed. "I won't...I can't."

"Still!" I exclaimed under my breath. "It's not fair! I don't really like the idea of you seeing her." "You're being absurd," Edward whispered. "You know I can't help it." I huffed, frustrated at this damn vampire brain science.

"Sweetheart, you know my eyes are only for you," he whispered sweetly. "I have never lusted after another woman. Do you know how hard it is to watch you sleep every night and keep my hands off of you?" I was shocked. "Really?" I asked timidly. He nodded. "Bella, my love," he whispered. "It's not because I don't want to. It's because I can't."

I nodded slowly. "Okay…"

He chuckled and lifted my hand to kiss it. "I think I kind of like it when you're jealous. It just adds to your charm." I rolled my eyes. "I've heard that jealousy is unattractive."

"Isabella Marie Swan, trust me when I say that there is absolutely nothing unattractive about you." He squeezed my bare leg, surprising me. Suddenly, another thought occurred to me.

"Edward?" "Yes?" He sounded a little hesitant. "Was she...pretty?"

He shrugged. "She pales in comparison with you." I scowled. "You're biased." "I really don't think I am. Jacob Black seemed to agree with me." I was stunned, so I was quiet on the rest of the way to the meadow.


	5. Exploded

**Author's Note: **I just found out I will be laptop-less indefinitely…thanks, Mom. I guess that's what happens when you write fanfics instead of paying attention in class and doing your homework! *winks* So I will attempt to post chapters, but I'm not making any promises. Be patient, please. I love ya'll!

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own _Twilight…_just like I don't own a laptop, cell phone, iPod, or anything. Thanks, Mom! I LOVE being grounded!

Chapter Five: "Exploded" Jacob's POV

As soon as I was out of the human's sight (not that I had to worry about the vampire), I exploded. I really didn't mean to, but I was shaking to my core. My clothes ripped off and my form burst into another.

The first thing I was really conscious of was Seth's voice in my head. _Huh? Jake! You're back!_

For whatever reason, my knee-jerk reaction was to growl unintelligibly.

_What's up, buddy? _Seth asked. I could hear him verbally howl—a howl that we used quite often that said, "Hey! Phase so I can get into your head!"

Instantly, Quil entered my mental conversation. _God, Seth. What? It's not like we have anything to kill._

_I feel like killing someone ,_I involuntarily sputtered.

_Whoa, Jacob! _Quil thought. _Dude, you're back!_

_Obviously,_ I growled.

_Uh oh. What happened?_

Embry joined in then. _UGH! This better be good! I have a date tonight!_

_You have a date? _Quil asked, unconvinced.

_Yeah, man. Some hot chick who works in the diner in Forks. Whoa, hey Jake! Man! It's about time!_

_Thanks, _I mentally groaned.

_What made up your mind to come back?_ Embry asked.

I sighed and recounted the whole encounter with Bella and the bloodsucker.

Seth, Quil, and Embry were all stunned into silence for a few seconds.

_Damn_, Quil thought. _That's rough, man._

_You think? _I shot back.

_I don't see what the big deal is, _Seth mentally shrugged. _Bella is happy, right?_

_I guess, _I replied. _She has this big honking diamond ring and a photographer to document the experiences of their engagement. I guess she should be happy about her bloodsucker coming back __But you know what's gonna happen._

_What?_ Seth asked.

_The leech is going to end up knocking the breath out of her someway or another._

Quil and Embry murmured in agreement.

_That is called stereotyping, _Seth sniffed. _And I don't think it's right._

_**WHAT?!? **_went the thoughts of the other three wolves.

_Haven't you ever wondered why there weren't any corpses found Forks? Bodies drained of blood? It's because the Cullens aren't killers. So why should we hate them?_

_They probably feed somewhere else, Quil replied. Seattle or somewhere like it, where there are more people._

_Shut up, Seth, _I replied bitterly. _I don't want to hear your nonsense. I'm kind of having a personal crisis here and I am __**not**__ man enough to suffer in silence today._

_Okay, Jacob, chill, _Embry jumped in. _We gotta sort this out._

I sighed loudly. _Here we go with the psychobabble._

I could feel Embry's condescending smile. _Freshman psych rears its ugly head, I know. But at least I finally actually decided to go to college._

_Shut up, Embry, _I snapped. After speaking the words, I realized Quil had said the same thing.

_Okay, fine. I have a question for you, Jake._

_Shoot._

_Are you more disturbed that…Edward…is a crypt keeper? Or that he's competition?_

My thoughts bubbled over. _That doesn't make any sense. He's got the freaking diamond ring on her. There is no competition._

_You sure?_

Alone in the forest, I plopped down on the ground and rolled over on my side. _Huh?_

_I'm no expert, but judging the scene from your head, it seems that Bella was hesitant to announce the news to you. Edward had to do it._

_Huh, _I murmured as I reexamined the entire conversation.

_See what I mean? _Embry thought, a proud edge to his voice.

_Embry's got a point, _Seth agreed. He had been so quiet, I had forgotten he was there.

_She's not going to go back on her bloodsucker,_ I replied. _When he left, all she did was wallow in her sorrows._

_But you made it easier for her, _Quil replied. _Dude, Bella is pretty and all, but she looked like a corpse the first time I saw her in your garage. But the more she hung out with you, she looked better.._

_I think you have a chance with her, Jake, _Embry seemed to mentally nod.

_You really think so? _I asked weakly. And then I wondered why I cared. Bella wasn't mine. I had left her years ago. I didn't have a claim on her anymore.

Not that I ever had one. She had been too busy clinging to the vamp for me to reel her in.

_Yeah, man,_ Quil said. _It's worth a try._

_And then you can come back to the pack, _Embry said. _Everyone knows that Bella is the reason you left in the first place._

I sighed. _I feel guilty every time someone thinks of a vampire or of __**her**__. You guys do that quite a lot, you know. I can't take the pack mind, where everybody hears everything._

_We only think about her because we're concerned about you, _Seth offered.

_Thanks, buddy. Plus I can't take all of the imprinting shit. Sam makes me want to gag anytime he thinks of his married life with Emily and how much they don't sleep, if you know what I mean. And Quil, Claire is adorable and all, but come on. The gooey stuff is seriously disturbing. And then Jared, and Paul thinking about how much he loves my sister, and all the rest who have imprinted. It's irritating as hell._

_I agree, _Seth thought.

_It's just…it's hard to know that I don't have that,_ I sighed. _I would even take the Quil route and imprint on a baby._

Quil chuckled.

_Is it really all guilt?_ I mused. _Or do I still love her?_

_You'll have to sort that out for yourself,_ Embry replied. _But we're here._

_Thanks, guys._

_No problem, _Quil thought.

_Uh, guys?_ Seth thought meekly.

_Yeah?_ we answered.

_I hate to be Johnny Raincloud, but what about Sarah?_


	6. Friends

Author's Note:** I'm back in business! More chapters to come soon!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_, but I do have my life back! Yay for being ungrounded!

Chapter Six: "Friends" Bella's POV

A week later, I stood at my father's stove, stirring a pot of noodles and chatting lightly. Charlie was, as always, thrilled to see me _and_ my cooking. He had been smiling the whole time, talking about work and Carlisle, Esme, and Alice. He even dared to venture into the topic of the wedding. (He seemed relieved when I admitted Alice and Esme were working on every aspect of the affair, therefore sparing him any details about color palettes or flowers.)

"You look like you're doing well," he remarked as I handed him a sample of my stroganoff sauce.

"Yeah, I feel great."

"This tastes great. Don't you have a checkup soon?"

"Carlisle is actually going to do some blood-work for me, for convenience," I explained. _You just don't have to know that he'll just sniff and taste the blood…_

"Must be nice to have a doctor for a father-in-law."

"He's not my father-in-law yet," I reminded him. "But yeah. Just having Carlisle in my life is nice, especially with my medical history."

"He's a good man," Charlie agreed.

I nodded. "That he is."

"I just hope his son is as good as he is," he said quietly.

I smiled encouragingly even though I was a tad annoyed. Being around vampires so much had helped me become more able to compose my real emotions--to hide myself, what I really felt. _How very vampiric, _I thought smugly. "Edward is Carlisle made over, Dad. Sometimes it's hard to believe they're not related. Same with Edward and Esme. And you know how wonderful Esme is."

"I'm just saying, Bells. A dad's got to worry."

"Trust me, Dad," I smiled at him. "Edward is so, so good to me."

Charlie sighed. A minute later, he said, "I'm trusting you, honey."

"Thank you. Can you hand me the strainer?"

"Sure."

I yawned involuntarily as I dumped the noodles into the strainer.

"Tired?"

"Yeah," I sighed. Knowing he would construe this to be a sign of illness, I added teasingly, "It's probably all of this pasta you asked me to make. Seriously, are you planning on saving up for winter?"

Charlie coughed uncomfortably. "Actually, we're having company tonight."

I frowned, confused. "Company? Who?"

"Billy Black."

"Oh." I stirred the sauce, noticing it was thick. I grabbed a potholder and pulled the pot to the sink to add water.

"And…Jake wanted to come," Charlie added casually.

Surprised, I abruptly dropped the full pot. It clattered in the sink, sloshing a little sauce over the edges.

"Bells, are you okay?"

"Jacob is coming?" Not thinking, I grabbed the bare pot, only to burn myself. "Ouch!"

"What? Oh, jeez, sweetheart." Charlie quickly turned the cold water on and stuck my burned finger under the stream.

"Thanks," I muttered as the water stung my wound.

"No problem." He paused. "Well…do you have a problem with seeing Jake?"

"Does he know I'm here?" I sputtered.

"Yeah. Apparently that's why he wanted to come. He said he saw you the other day."

"Mmm," I nodded as I moved the pot back to the stove.

"You didn't mention it."

"Mmm." My hand hurt, but I had to cook. _I'll use Edward's cold skin later…_

On cue, the doorbell rang. "That can't be the Blacks," Charlie frowned. "The game doesn't start for an hour."

"It's Edward," I replied. "He wanted to stop by. I'll be right back."

I quickly ran to the door and flung it open. His face was concerned. "Bella, why do I smell burnt flesh?"

I swiftly grabbed his cold hand and pressed my burned finger to it. "I'm cooking," I explained. "That feels good."

He smiled. "Glad to be of service, ma'am." Stepping in the house, he bent to kiss me.

"Sorry if I smell like food," I apologized a moment later.

"Bella, you _always_ smell like food," he said very softly. "But yes, today you do kind of smell like mush."

"Thanks," I retorted sarcastically.

He laughed and kissed my hand softly. "I'll get you an icepack."

"That's not necessary. Just keep holding my hand."

He was chuckling as we walked to the kitchen. "Hi, Edward," Charlie nodded.

"Hello, Charlie," Edward said pleasantly. "How are you?"

"I'm getting by. I don't suppose you'll be eating with us," my father said, perfectly aware that my fiancé didn't seem to have healthy eating habits.

I smiled and went to the sink to continue cooking as Edward made up some excuse.

"I see," Charlie said. "You're lucky to have Bella as a chef, huh?"

"I'm _very_ lucky," Edward agreed, smiling down at me and mussing my hair. "Bella is wonderful in everything she does."

"Thanks," I snorted, transporting the sauce to the noodles to toss the pasta. As I walked across the kitchen to get a big spoon, I tripped over my own feet.

My hands reflexively shot out to catch myself, my brain realizing a second too late that my hands were about to hit the eyes of the hot stove. Instantly, a pair of white iron fetters caught my wrists, their cool temperature replacing any scald I could have felt from the stove.

But Edward, of course, had to hide his supernatural strength, and so he let me fall on my knees. The impact of the linoleum on my kneecaps was rough; I instantly felt bruised.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked urgently, pulling me up on my feet.

"Yeah," I breathed. "That's going to leave a mark--or two." Edward led me to a char.

"Do you need ice or something?" Charlie asked.

"No, thanks," I replied. "I'm fine."

"I think I hear the Blacks," Charlie announced. "I'll be right back."

As soon as Charlie left, Edward hiked up the legs of my jeans to examine my knees.

"I'm fine," I protested, but he held a finger up.

For some crazy reason, my heart picked up speed as he lightly skimmed his nose along my kneecap. He had never really paid attention to my legs before, and I liked it. (I also thanked my lucky stars I had shaved.) There was something so incredibly _sensual_ about watching him take care of me.

"Playing doctor?" I teased, lightly tousling his beautiful bronze hair.

"I'm trying to smell and see if I'm going to have to worry about a bruise."

"A bruise?" I asked skeptically, critically. "You're worried about a bruise." I snorted.

"Bella, you know bruises can show a _lot_ about the state of your health," he said seriously.

"Oh, right."

Suddenly, his golden eyes looked up at me, one perfect eyebrow raised. "Do you object to me…_playing doctor_?"

I swallowed loudly. "Er…"

He displayed my favorite crooked smile. "I think I would enjoy it very much. Something like this?" He bent to softly kiss the center of my knee.

"Mmm," I nodded. "I enjoy that, too."

He laughed softly and kissed my other knee. _Tease_, I thought.

Just then, Jacob Black walked in, and I swear he _blushed_. Something I couldn't recall ever seeing before.

Edward quickly pushed my pants legs down and stood up--as if he hadn't known Jacob was coming. A small part of my brain wondered if he had heated things up just to bother Jacob.

Ashamed, I shushed that thought and stood up. "Hey, Jacob."

Jacob hesitated. "Hey, Bella. Er, something smells good."

"Thanks," I said as I took Edward's hand and pulled him up. "It's stroganoff, Charlie's favorite. If I had known we were having company, I would have grilled steaks or something."

"Naw, it's fine."

"Edward, would you please get out the bag of salad greens? It should be in the drawer of the refrigerator."

"Of course, love." "I think I'm going to use the restroom," Jacob said. "I'll come back and help."

"It's down the hall, on your--"

"Bells, I think I remember where the bathroom is."

I blushed. "Right."

Jacob disappeared, and Edward was instantly at my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I think I'm going to leave," he announced quietly, kissing the hollow behind my ear. "Don't," I protested. "Stay here."

"Sweetheart, you feel uncomfortable. Jacob feels uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable."

"Are you playing Jasper now?" I asked.

He smiled. "No. I'm a mind reader, remember?"

"But you can't read my mind," I pointed out.

"No, but I stare at your lovely face so much, I know all of your expressions."

I shrugged. "True."

He grinned devilishly. "If things become too awkward or uncomfortable for you, you can always text me and I can come pick you up." Surprising me, he patted my back pocket where my stupid cell phone he had bought me was kept.

"You're kind of…flirtatious tonight," I noted, totally aware of the way his hand went from my backside to the back of my thigh.

He laughed. "Am I? I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I don't mind." I turned and buried my face in his chest. "You still don't have to go."

"Yes, I do. I promised Alice we could discuss tuxedos tonight."

I crinkled my nose. "Fine. But hurry back. We _are_ going to Seattle tonight, and maybe you can be flirtatious again when we get to bed."

He grinned. "I'll think about it."

Just as Jacob reentered the room, Edward was lifting me up, kissing me exuberantly. When he set me on my feet, he kissed my forehead and said, "I love you."

"I love you, too," I said.

Edward said goodbye to Jacob and then he left us.

Just the two of us.

"So," Jacob chuckled as soon as Edward left, "Feel like an old married woman yet?"

"What does that supposed to mean?" I asked, popping the garlic bread into the oven.

"Nothing. He's just a little…possessive."

I dropped my oven mitt. "Possessive?"

"Yup. That would explain the kissing and the _I love you_'s."

"Huh." Now that I thought about it, I was totally right when Edward had kissed my knees. He _was_ a little showy. He usually didn't show that much affection in front of people, not even Alice.

"You know, Bells, I'm no expert, but I don't think you should marry someone that your friend knows better than you do."

"Shut up, Jacob. You are _obviously_ not the expert. And to answer your first question, I'm not _that_ old."

"Oh, really? How old _are_ you?"

I actually blushed. _Why am I blushing?_ "Twenty-four," I admitted sadly.

"Wow. Ancient. Plus you're about to get married, so that makes you even older."

I couldn't stifle the laugh that escaped my lips. "You still play that game with yourself?"

"Of course. I'm well into my fifties now."

I laughed. "Right. I'm afraid I've forgotten how your calendar works, though."

"That's okay. Memory loss comes with old age."

I threw a noodle at him, and watched in amazement as he caught it in his mouth. "That's good," I remarked as he slurped it down.

"Thanks. How did you become so coordinated?"

He shrugged and flexed his humongous biceps. "It comes with muscles."

"I see that. Seriously, how much do you weigh?"

He shrugged. "I'm six-ten and two-hundred-eighty pounds. All muscle, of course."

"That's not human," I remarked.

He gave me a strange grin, and I felt like I was missing out on some joke. "So I've heard. How much do _you _weigh?"

I glared at him. "You know it's impolite to ask a woman's age or weight. Two strikes, buddy."

He laughed. "Seriously, Bells. You're so skinny."

I looked self-consciously at the cotton blouse I was wearing. Edward had told me I looked beautiful in it. But now I could see my hipbones jutting out against my jeans. It wasn't very flattering.

"Um, yeah," I said slowly. "It's been hard to gain back the weight I lost when I was on chemotherapy."

Jacob's face hardened. "I see."

"But I'm fine," I added quickly. "Nothing to worry about."

"Sure, sure. Can I…ask a question?" he pled timidly.

"Sure." I walked to the dish cabinet to pull out plates and salad bowls.

"Here, I'll help set the table." He gathered silverware out of the correct drawer, and I wondered how often he came to Charlie's house with Billy. "Um…can you tell me about your cancer?"

Like our encounter in the woods, this left me confused. _Why does he care? Is it pity? Morbid curiosity? Guilt? Why is he being so nice?_

"Um," I said, not really sure where to begin. "I thought I had anemia, but I went to the doctor and I had leukemia. That's a cancer of the blood."

Jacob looked up from his task of distributing forks and gave me one hard nod. "Go on."

"I spent a few months in the hospital taking chemotherapy. Finally, I went into remission."

"Was the chemotherapy bad? I've heard it's one of the worst physical ails you can have."

"It's not the worst," I said. _Vampire attacks are way worse._ "But it's not a walk in the park. I couldn't eat anything."

"And…your hair fell out?" he asked softly, gently, his eyes appraising my short hair.

"Yeah," I said. "It's growing back, though." I shook my hair into my face.

"I see that. It looks good short, by the way."

"Thanks," I replied. "I guess you can tell the old men that dinner's ready."

Of course, Billy and Charlie wanted to eat in front of the television, so Jacob and I stayed in the kitchen. Jacob filled a plate with stroganoff and sat across from me.

"So," he said. "You're completely cancer-free?"

"I am _now_," I said. "There's a possibility that it can come back, but I'm not even entertaining that thought."

"Yeah. Good plan." He chewed thoughtfully. "Ever since Billy told me about it a year ago, I've wondered about you. Worried about you, actually. I was just scared to call."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I was a real jerk to you years ago. I've felt guilty ever since. I didn't know how you would respond to some random call. 'Hey, I know I left you alone for people you hate, but how are you feeling?' _Right_." He rolled his eyes.

"I would have been polite to you," I murmured honestly.

"Maybe so. But I know you well enough to know when you're forcing good manners. Like the other day, in the woods."

I only halfway smiled. "I was shocked…and confused."

"I know. It's alright. I deserve a lot worse for abandoning you."

"Nah. I'm over it, I guess." I wasn't sure if this was true or not.

Blindingly fast, he was suddenly by my chair, lifting me up into a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you, Bells!"

The only thing I noticed was how _hot_ he was. His skin was on fire--just like the last night of our friendship. "God, Jacob, you're hot."

"Thanks," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Not like--"

He interrupted me. "So you forgive me?"

I paused. "Yes. Conditionally."

"Meaning…?"

"You have to be nice to me _and _Edward." I could already see that this could be a problem. Lightening up, I added, "And you have to quit speculating on my age and weight."

He laughed. "Thank you!"

I laughed. "You're welcome, Jake."

This simple nickname opened up a floodgate of emotion for me. When Edward came back into my life, I had felt complete again. Whole.

But now that my Jake was back, I noticed for the first time in years a hole in my heart just as it was being filled. A hole that my vampire love couldn't fill. A hole that could only be healed by someone human and more relatable. Someone I didn't have to make sacrifices for. Someone who could look at me and not be biased because of true love.

"So…we're friends again?" Jacob asked me hopefully.

I smiled widely. "Yeah. Friends."


	7. Communication

Author's Note: **Things are about to get a little lemony, but nothing explicit as this is rated T. You can think this is hot or pathetic…but it's a pivotal point in the plot. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer:** Roses are red, violets are blue. Stephenie Meyer owns _Twilight._ I wish I did, too.

Chapter Seven: "Communication" Edward's POV

"So you and Jacob are friends again?" I called, sitting on the bed to take my shoes off.

"Yeah, apparently so," Bella replied from behind the bathroom door. "He wants to come up to Seattle to have lunch with us."

_To have lunch with __**you**__, _I mentally corrected her. _He knows just as well as you do that I don't eat._

But instead I said, "That would be good." I tossed my shoes into the closet and shrugged my shirt off. I always felt that this was taking it a step too far, but Bella had won that battle. Besides, I didn't really mind the feeling of her warm skin and hair against my body. It was actually one of the greatest physical sensations I had ever experienced.

"You really think so?" Bella asked. I could hear the scratch of toothbrush bristles against her teeth.

"Yeah," I said, turning on the electric blankets. "Why not?"

She didn't reply. I sighed quietly, already stressing over this situation. Jacob's intentions never indicated only friendship. But if Bella wanted to be friends with him, who was I to stand in her way?

I stared at my feet until I heard her fingertips touch the knob. She opened the door, and instantly my thoughts were no longer on Jacob Black. Everything was forgotten. Bella--and her body--filled every thought of mine.

She stood in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing a skimpy pajama set--a blue cotton tank top that showed just enough cleavage, and a matching pair of boy-shorts that I imagined could easily be classified as underwear. The blue was absolutely striking against her skin that was exposed--which was most of it.

She let out a small giggle despite her deep blush. "What are you staring at?"

I realized my mouth was hanging open. "Uh…Bella," I stammered. "I really don't think that outfit is practical for sleeping with a vampire."

She adorably raised her eyebrows. "Why not?" She walked over to me and sat in my lap. I could see the goose-bumps rising on her skin.

My arms still wrapped around her. "You're going to get cold. You already are cold." My fingers lightly traced her arm.

Her face fell. "I guess you don't like it."

"No, love," I said, kissing the tip of her nose. "I do like it. That's the problem. I like it _far too much_."

Her face lit up, and I knew I was once again the victim of a guilt trip. Not that I minded.

"Edward?" she said softly.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

I smiled at her. "I love you, too."

She smiled back at me and gently took my face in her hands. I didn't resist as she pressed her lips to mine, and I didn't protest as she gently pushed me down onto the bed. I only kissed her back lovingly and rolled her over under the electric blanket. Once we were in the swathe of warmth, our half-naked bodies intertwined, limbs around limbs and mouth upon mouth.

I was so into the kissing that my hands automatically wandered to her hips. Carefully, I moved her leg so it was hitched around my hip and rolled over so she was on top of me.

But Bella misread my actions. Her heartbeat picked up speed as her fingers twisted in my hair. Enchanting me, her mouth opened and I felt her warm tongue running along my lips.

Bewitched and berating at the same time, I pulled away. "Love, I know it's hard in that sexy outfit, but _please_ be a good girl."

She sighed. "What if I stay away from your mouth?"

Though my absolute favorite thing to do was to kiss Bella, obviously a ripple of sexual satisfaction echoed through my body and thoughts, followed by a wave of guilt. _More? I obviously can't allow that. But I __**want**__ to._

She took advantage of my silence and started to kiss my face--my forehead, my eyelids, my nose, my cheeks, my jaw. As promised, she stayed away from my mouth. So I told myself I couldn't protest. Kisses on my face were harmless.

But I should have known Bella would take it further. She soon finished with her soft, teasing kisses and moved to my neck. Her lips became rougher, and I even felt her teeth. "Bella," I murmured. "Sweetheart, be careful. The last thing I need is for you to break a tooth."

"Shh," she replied, kissing my neck innocently again. "Please relax, shut up, and enjoy the moment. I love your voice, but you talk _so much_."

"Yes ma'am," I whispered.

She giggled. "That's a good boy." She kissed the hollow of my throat, her lips moving around my neck. Softly, she kissed my ear. "I love you," she whispered again.

"I love you, too." I drew in a breath as she licked at my ear.

Silently, she sat up between my hips, dragging her soft hands down my chest and stomach. I could tell by the gleam in her eye that she _knew_ she was driving me crazy. Quickly, I took her hands and pulled her back to me, rolling over so I could lay her flat. My nose skimmed her neck, breathing in her delicious scent, and my lips traced her collarbones. She smelled and tasted so absolutely delicious, I did something I rarely did: I let my tongue slide along her clavicles. She let out a whimper.

I froze. "Bella?"

"I'm fine," she breathed. "More than fine. Keep going."

I chuckled before kissing along her neck and going to her lips. Slowly, my tongue tasted her lips.

"Mmm." She slowly grabbed my hair, holding my head there. She kissed me deliciously, her lips nibbling hungrily at mine. _Yeah, Edward. You've got this. You can handle this._ I prayed that I wasn't so easily convinced of this because I was so fueled with desire.

I felt her tongue slowly sneaking past my lips, and I pulled away, gasping for air. She managed to roll over again so she was on top again, and immediately started to kiss wetly down my chest and stomach.

I had never felt anything so…_sensual_. "Ohh," I murmured, shocking myself. "Ohh, baby…" I immediately felt like blushing; I had purposely avoided this degrading, stereotypical term of endearment. But it seemed to fit. I felt like blushing even more as I thought of Emmett's bedroom nicknames for Rosalie.

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised when, after kissing past my navel, her fingers went to my belt. Carefully, she tried to nonchalantly play with the buckle.

"Fuck," I whispered. "Baby…stop."

"_Why_?"

"You know why," I sighed.

"Please?" she asked in a small voice. "I'll be careful."

It was _so_ hard to resist her. I closed my eyes to block out the power of her lovely, pleading brown eyes. "Sweetheart, come here."

I unsuccessfully tried to ignore the feeling of her half-naked body sliding along mine as she crawled toward me. Realizing she was freezing, I pulled the hot electric blanket around her. "We need to talk."

"What?" she mumbled her face red.

"Bella, you know how hard it is for me to resist you."

"No, I don't." Her eyes stared at the mattress.

"Love…" I sighed. "Imagine this. Imagine that the most beautiful person you've ever seen comes to you wearing something this revealing…" My hand softly traced her covered stomach. "And they make these kinds of advances toward you. That is what I'm experiencing right now."

"It doesn't sound so bad," she said thoughtfully.

"Yes, but I have to resist. That takes a _huge _effort."

"You don't have to resist," she sighed.

"Yes, I do. I could kill you," I said, completely miserable. "Do you know how…aroused I am right now? But I'm not indulging because I have to keep you safe. Oh, love, please don't cry."

My fingers wiped the teardrop off her cheek. She blushed. "Edward…you know that this isn't fair to me."

Her words stabbed my heart. "My love…" I whispered. "I know that this relationship isn't fair to you. I've always known that. You're about to marry a killer. A killer who could kill you just by stroking your face. You deserve more."

"No," she said, shaking her head quickly. "You're being ridiculous. I just meant that I'm going to be a virgin for the rest of my life."

My first reaction to this truth was that it was, well, true. I couldn't argue with her. She was right.

And then I felt guilty. She was already missing out on human experiences just by refusing to be with a human. Now I was denying her yet another important part of being human.

"What am I supposed to do?" she muttered. "I _could_ certainly survive it, if I had your strength and power. _But you refuse to give me that strength and power._"

"Changing you into a vampire is not even an option," I said flatly. "Move on to your next point."

Something flickered in her eyes--anger maybe, or apprehension. "You're treating this as if it's a courtroom case," she sighed.

"I want to hear your argument," I said gently. "I've heard good communication is the secret to a successful marriage."

The corners of her lips slightly pulled up. "I just…I would think that if you insist on giving me a short life, that you would want to make it as happy as possible." Two beautiful brown eyes pleaded with me, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"And," she continued, "your time with me is very short. In the highly unlikely chance that you'll never find anyone after me…wouldn't you want to experience sex?"

I swallowed before speaking. "First, the idea that I could love anyone else isn't highly unlikely--it's impossible." I put my hand to the side of her face, cradling it. "Second…" My voice trailed off into a sigh. "You're right."

Nothing could hide the shock on her face. "I am?" she blundered. Not wanting to show any signs of doubt, she quickly composed herself. "Of course I am. But which point am I right about this time?"

I laughed, and I just couldn't resist giving her a quick peck. "You're adorable. Er…you're right about the second point."

She rolled her eyes. "Of, the sex part. Not the life-and-death situation. Typical man."

I chuckled. "If I remember correctly, _you_ have always been the one who pressures _me_ for sex."

She shrugged. "So I'm a whore who tries to seduce vampires. I don't really care at this point."

"No," I contradicted her. "You are _not_ a whore. You're better than that. Do _not_ degrade yourself by calling yourself that. And how many vampires have you tried to seduce?"

She actually laughed. "That's my secret. Are you going to elaborate on how I am right, or should I turn off the light and go to sleep?"

"No, I'll talk," I sighed. "You're right about the fact that it isn't fair for you to live life as a virgin."

"Thank you!" she exclaimed, kissing my cheek.

"Hold it," I cautioned. "What if I do some research, talk to Carlisle, and find out how to make this possible?"

Her cheeks reddened. "Talk to Carlisle?"

"He's a doctor, love. He won't be embarrassed at all."

"No, but I will."

"You won't be there. I promise he won't say anything."

"I'm not worried about Carlisle saying anything," she cringed. "I'm worried about Emmett."

I laughed. "Emmett will _not_ find out." I softly stroked her face. "Anyways, are you saying 'no deal'?"

"No, I'm not," she said. "I want you to do this."

I sighed. "Okay. That doesn't mean we can…do it tonight. I'm going to have to work at it."

She raised an eyebrow.

"My self-control, I mean," I told her.

She laughed and then sighed. "Okay. Check into it."

"I'll start tomorrow, while you're hanging out with Jacob. But you have to do me a favor."

"Yeah?"

"_Don't _try to seduce me until I give you permission." I ruffled her hair. "Please."

She rolled her eyes. "You are extraordinarily moral for a vampire."

"I'm actually extraordinarily _im_moral for a gentleman out of the 1900s," I pointed out. "Lying in a bed with a half-naked woman I'm not married to? It's quite scandalous. I wonder if my mother, wherever she may be, approves."

She laughed. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Masen," she said to the ceiling. "I've corrupted your little boy."

"Nah," I said. "Your attempts to undermine my self-control are child's play compared to the sins I've committed. She's probably grateful you're in my life."

She laughed. "All of this talking is making me tired."

"Then sleep," I suggested. "I guess I'll allow you to continue to wear that sultry outfit."

"You love it," she teased me.

"I do," I sighed admittedly. "I do. And I love you."

"I love you, too. Since we've made our deal, I think I _will _sleep."

"Yes, you should."

"Will you sing to me?" she asked, yawning.

I smiled, kissed her, and started to hum her lullaby I composed for her years before.


	8. Secret

**Author's Note:** I've been absent for so long, and I apologize. New classes just started and they are maddening. But here comes a good chunk of the story. I promise the plot is going to turn very soon…I know all of these family and friendship scenes get irritating after a while. Please review! My absence from fan fiction has resulted in a lack of chapters _and _reviews. I miss hearing from my favorite reader--you!

**Disclaimer:** I dearly wish I owned all of the Cullen men, but we don't get everything we ask for, now do we?

Chapter Eight: "Secret" Edward's POV

"Alice, I am _not_ going to Paris!" Bella groaned.

"But _Bella_!" Alice whined, dragging my fiancée's name out. "I have a really good friend who can make the most perfect dresses for the wedding!"

"Whatever happened to David's Bridal?" Bella snapped.

I chuckled as I drove down the highway. They had been arguing for a while, and it was actually quite amusing.

"You can't wear your _wedding dress_ from a _chain_!" Alice cried in horror. "What kind of maid of honor would I _be_ if I let you look like another bride?"

"A financially-conscious maid of honor," Bella shot back.

"Shut up, Edward!" Alice and Bella yelled simultaneously as I laughed.

"Bella, my stocks are doing _really_ well," Alice said. "Money isn't even an issue."

"She has a point," I nodded, looking at Bella to try to win her over with my eyes and my smile. That always seemed to work.

But she just glared at me. "You aren't as dazzling as you think. Stay out of this."

Alice melodramatically threw her hands up in frustration. "Edward, please talk some sense into this…this…_human_!"

I sighed. "What if I went with you guys?"

Alice's thoughts recoiled in anger. "Absolutely not! You can't see the dress until the wedding!"

"I guess I'm not going, then," Bella shrugged.

"Aaaahhhh!" Alice cried.

"You already know what the dress will look like, what I will look like, and if I like it!" Bella pointed out. "What's the point?"

"I do not!" Alice replied, but her thoughts were reciting Act I of _Romeo and Juliet_ to block me out of any images.

"This discussion is over," Bella announced, grasping my hand firmly and turning up the radio. "Edward, why are we listening to rap?"

"Emmett borrowed my car," I explained, kissing her hand.

A tiny white hand shot forth from the backseat and turned the radio off. "I have an idea."

"I'm not listening," Bella said.

"Yes, you are," Alice rolled her eyes. "I can _see_ it. What if we shop for…_other things_ in Paris?"

My mind saw the "other things" and I instantly slammed on the brakes. "Alice!"

"What? Hell, Edward! Why not? You've already agreed to fuck her!"

I could smell delicious blood pooling in Bella's cheeks. "Wait, what am I missing?"

Alice cackled. "I was just going to suggest shopping for the honeymoon. I'm sure Paris has a Victoria's Secret."

Bella's fading blush deepened all over again. "Um…"

"It's a good idea, right?" Alice asked hopefully.

Bella bit her lip. "Uh, Alice? Can we discuss this later?"

Victory rang through Alice's thoughts. "Of course, my favorite sister." She grinned angelically.

"Okay, out," I told her as I pulled up to our house in Forks. "My fiancée has been manipulated enough for one day."

"Fine," Alice said, sticking her tongue out at me. "I'll leave you to go do…" She frowned, her eyebrows furrowing together. "What _are_ you going to do?"

Bella and I simultaneously turned to face her. "What?" Bella asked in shock.

Alice's eyes locked with mine. _I can't see __**anything**__, _she thought. _What's going on?_

"We're just going to see my friend," Bella said slowly. "Edward is just going to drop me off at La Push. Why can't you see that?"

Alice's eyes widened. _Werewolves? What the fuck, Edward?_

I knew her feelings exactly just by the expletive. Alice didn't curse unless she was frustrated.

"I'll explain later," I said, quietly enough that only she could hear.

Alice turned away, her mouth open in astonishment, and left the car.

"What was that about?" Bella asked me, her voice nervous.

"Alice…had a moment of blindness," I said.

"_Why?_"

"I'm not sure," I admitted. Seeing the look of fear on Bella's face, I added, "It's probably from hiding all of her thoughts from me. She doesn't want me to see one detail of your wedding dress."

Bella sighed, again reminded of shopping. "I see."

We rode in silence to the La Push border. She seemed a little irritated when I put the car in park. "Edward, can't you drive me to Jacob's house?"

_No, it smells way too bad._ "Jacob's over there," I pointed. "He has a…" I sighed. "A surprise for you."

Her eyes lit up as she saw the Honda motorcycle Jacob was leaning against. "No way!" she exclaimed, unbuckling her seatbelt and jumping out of the car. "Jake! This is incredible!"

So he was "Jake" now. I was amazed at how quickly their relationship had picked up and healed itself.

I cautiously walked around my car and sat on the hood. Bella was excitedly looking at every feature of the motorcycle, using terms I was surprised she knew. I worried myself just imagining what experiences she may have had years ago with Jacob and some motorcycles.

"It's beautiful," she said, stroking the seat.

"Yeah," Jacob breathed, staring at Bella. I gritted my teeth as he admired every feature of her body.

_Don't be jealous_, I told myself. _Bella loves you. Not the mutt._

Finally, I cleared my throat. "Bella, I promised Esme I would be home today."

"Oh, right!" she said, running over to hug me. "'Bye, sweetheart."

Feeling a little smug by her tender embrace, I lifted her up and kissed her lips a little roughly. Ten seconds passed, and I put her back on her feet. "'Bye, my love. Be careful and have fun." I turned to Jacob. "_Don't_ let her get hurt."

"Scout's honor," Jacob said a little sarcastically.

Turning back to Bella, I mussed her hair. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She smiled and pecked my lips again.

I sighed and slid into my car, looking away so she wouldn't think I was eavesdropping. I was, though, by means of Jacob's thoughts.

And I knew just how good it felt for him when they got on the motorcycle together and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

I cranked up Emmett's rap and backed the hell out of there. Minutes later, I was at my family's mansion.

"Edward!" Esme greeted me as I entered the living room. She jumped up to hug me. "Hi, darling."

I kissed her cheek. "Hey, Mom," I grinned. I knew one thing for sure--Esme could always make me smile just by being there. Even her scent comforted me, just like a mother and a child.

She frowned. "Something's wrong."

I sometimes wondered if she really did have a special gift. She could always see through our pretenses--especially mine and Carlisle's. I had inquired about it long ago, but she brushed it off as "maternal instinct".

"Uh, not entirely," I said. "Just the fact that Bella is with a guy from high school. It bugs me."

Esme smiled knowingly. "Jealousy is making you green," she said. "It's not very attractive."

I laughed and we walked to sit with Carlisle. I braced myself as I heard Alice's thoughts from the third floor, and then her footsteps as she flew down the stairs, Jasper on her heels.

"What, Alice?" I groaned.

"You _have_ to give me some answers," she snapped, sitting across from us. "I can't see Bella _at all_."

"Edward? Alice?" Esme asked, her voice already going into red alert. "What's going on?"

I sighed. "Alice, I don't know why your visions aren't working."

"But you are aware that your fiancée is hanging out with a _werewolf_?"

"Werewolf?" Carlisle demanded. "Edward, what has happened?"

I put my hands up. "Okay, everyone listen." By then, Emmett and Rosalie had joined us--Rosalie's eyes were wide, Emmett had a smirk on his face. I cleared my throat. "We all know that there is a…resurrection of the werewolf gene at the La Push reservation."

Carlisle nodded. "Of course. We've smelled them. But we've ignored them to keep the peace."

"Yes," I nodded. "Well…apparently when we first left Forks six years ago, Bella's_ good _friend Jacob Black became her _best_ friend. And a werewolf."

Six pairs of eyes stared at me.

"_Black?_" Carlisle nearly choked. "A descendent of Ephraim?"

"Apparently," I shrugged. "Let me go on. The positive is he stayed away from Bella after the change to protect her. They hadn't seen each other in six years until a few weeks ago."

"So you're letting her hang out with a _werewolf_?!" Alice screeched.

"Edward," Esme said in shock. "What _are_ you thinking?"

"I'm not finished," I said calmly. "Jacob has turned his back on the werewolf life. He is living as a human now."

"But he can always lose his temper, phase, and hurt her," Carlisle reminded me sternly.

I sighed. "He makes her happy. She _needs_ to be happy right now. And besides, she doesn't know he's a werewolf."

"That won't stop him from accidentally hurting her," Carlisle sighed impatiently.

I sighed. "That's not going to happen. I trust him."

Alice broke in then. "Why can't I see him? He is blocking _everything_! I can't even see if she wants to go to Paris!"

Jasper gently pulled Alice into his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't know," I admitted.

"They _are _biologically our enemies," Carlisle pointed out. "Maybe it's a defense they're born with."

Alice groaned. "Well, I'm useless."

"You didn't break the treaty, did you?" Carlisle asked urgently.

I shook my head. "No. It is still valid."

"Good," Carlisle sighed in relief.

The next person who spoke was so unexpected, it shocked me.

"So when are you planning on telling Bella?" Rosalie asked.

I knew from her mind she meant Jacob's secret.

I shrugged. "It's not my secret to tell."

She gave one harsh chuckle. "Ha! She'll figure it out. After all, she figured _us_ out."


	9. Happy

**Author's Note:** Part I of this story is about to wind down. Prepare for probably three more happy chapters before everything starts going downhill. I hope you enjoy it!

**Disclaimer:** To each her own. Stephenie Meyer has _Twilight_, I have lame fan fiction.

Chapter Nine: "Happy" Bella's POV

"That was fun," I smiled as we stepped into the warm little house, dripping wet.

"Yeah," Jacob agreed. "I'm sorry we couldn't ride for longer. Motorcycles are pretty impractical for Washington."

"It's fine," I said. "It was fun while it lasted. I'm kind of hungry, what about you? Do you want to go get some lunch? My treat."

"Nah, we have sandwich stuff here, if that's okay. I'm not going to let you pay for my lunch."

"Sandwiches are great," I nodded. "But I have plenty of money. I'd happily take you out." I internally cringed as I thought of the credit card in my pocket. Edward had opened me a credit account, a checking account, and was already hinting at a new car for a wedding present.

Jacob rolled his eyes, obviously correctly guessing where my money came from. "This is fine," he said, walking to the refrigerator and pulling out sandwich stuff.

We made sandwiches and sat on the old sofa in his living room. Jacob surprised me by opening a can of beer. "Do you want some?" he asked, taking a long drink.

"No, I don't drink," I said. "Since when do _you_?"

He shrugged. "It kind of dulls the pain."

"What pain?"

"Just…life," he sighed. "I'm sure you understand that."

"No, I really don't," I retorted. "I don't know anything about your life anymore."

He shrugged again.

"Come on, Jake," I begged. "You know all about my life. Let me see yours."

He raised his eyebrows. "Um…yes ma'am. What do you want to know?"

_Where to begin?_ I thought. _You better start getting your answers slowly._ "Um, how's Billy?"

There was a skeptical gleam in his eye. "The old man's fine. Still kicking."

"Did you ever go to college?" I pressed.

"Not yet," he admitted, shamefaced.

"Why the heck not, Jacob?" I exclaimed. "You're smart! You could probably own an auto repair shop…if you still like to do that."

"I do," he nodded. "But I just never got there. I've been taking care of Billy."

_Well, that's understandable. As long as it has nothing to do with Sam Uley._ "Do you still hang out with that crowd you left me for?"

"Sometimes," he confessed, staring down at his beer can. "But not like I used to."

"Are you going to give me any answers about that?" I asked bluntly.

He visibly winced. "It was just a bunch of adolescent boys fooling around." Biting his lip, he quickly downed another swig.

"I see," I sighed, imagining the worst. _Gang fights, drugs, prostitution ring…_

"But I'm over it," he quickly said. "Bella, I regret the whole thing."

I closed my eyes. "I still don't…understand," I admitted, staring at my hands.

He sighed heavily as he turned to face me. "What it all boils down to is that I was forced to make a choice: you or them. And honestly…I made the wrong choice."

"Wh-what?"

"Bella, have you ever thought of what might have happened if I had dumped the guys and remained your friend?"

I hadn't. I had managed to successfully block both Jacob and Edward out of my head for five years. When Edward returned to me, it felt as though I was complete again. But now, sitting here with Jake, I knew that I was _not_ complete without my human best friend.

"No," I said, answering his question.

He gave me a strange, sad smile. "Our lives could be so different. We could be _happy_."

His words stung me a bit, as if they insulted my happiness that so completely flowed from Edward. "I _am_ happy," I mumbled, staring at my engagement ring.

"Are you?" he asked softly.

"Yes! I mean, of course I am," I said. "I'm healthy. I'm engaged to a wonderful man who loves me endlessly. I have a whole future planned out." I almost smiled as I pictured an immortal version of me running with Edward through the woods.

"You know, the Bella I knew didn't like the thought of marriage," he remarked casually, again nursing his beer.

"Well, that Bella grew up," I snapped, just a little bitter.

He shrugged. "I'm just sayin'. No need to get defensive."

Frustrated already, I stuffed a big chunk of sandwich in my mouth.

"I'm honestly curious," he said. "What _do_ you see in him?"

I slowly chewed and swallowed. "He's a great guy, Jake," I said. "He takes care of me and loves me. _I love him._" I shrugged. "Is that so difficult to understand?"

He took a long drink. "I guess not," he finally said quietly.

"What about you?" I asked, playfully punching him in the arm. "You're probably fighting the girls off with a stick."

"Naw," he said. "I--"

But he was interrupted by my ringing cell phone.

"Just a second," I sighed, pulling the ridiculously expensive phone out. I saw Edward's name on the screen. "Hello?" I said, answering it.

"Hello, beautiful. Carlisle and Esme are inviting us to spend the night. Do you want to come watch a game of vampire baseball?"

I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. "Yeah! That would be awesome!"

He laughed softly. "I thought so. I'm at the La Push border."

"Can't you come pick me up?" It's raining.

Jacob interrupted me. "I'll drive you, Bells."

His car was as warm and cozy as his house, and I found myself regretting the fact that I had to leave. But Edward's welcoming embrace soothed those feelings away. We both profusely thanked Jake for a good day, and then I was in Edward's warm car.

"Did you have fun?" the center of my world asked me before leaning over to kiss me.

"Yes," I replied. "I only wrecked the motorcycle once."

His jaw tightened. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"Nah, just a bruise. What did _you_ do?"

"I hung out with the family. Today was Carlisle's day off. Emmett and Jasper decided to have a game of baseball because we haven't done that in a long time."

"There won't be any sadistic party crashers, will there?" I asked jokingly.

He squeezed my hand. "Not tonight. At least, Alice hasn't seen anything."

I suddenly remembered something. "Can she see yet?"

"Yes," he nodded. "She overloaded her brain. By the way, she says you _are _going to Paris."

I sighed, even though her suggestion had warmed me up to the idea. "Who is her friend? Coco Chanel?"

"Not quite. He isn't a major name yet, but she says he'll get there. You could be quite the trendsetter." He grinned crookedly at me.

"Ah," I nodded, a sarcastic edge to my voice. "Great."

He laughed. "He designed Alice's wedding. You'll look beautiful. Well, you already do. God, you look and smell good in the rain."

I grinned. "Thanks. So, I tried to pry Jake to tell me about Sarah, but you interrupted."

Edward nodded. "He was thinking about that."

"I'll get the answers out of him _somehow_."

He laughed. "You are quite good at getting what you want. It's those beautiful brown eyes and those pout-y lips. God knows you weaken me."

"Which reminds me," I remarked. "Did you do any…er, research today?"

He pursed his lips. "No, Carlisle was surrounded by family today. I didn't think you'd want me to bring it up in front of Emmett."

I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised to see that we were already at his family's house. He cut the engine and was at my door in an instant. We walked into the living room hand-in-hand, our arms swinging between us.

"Yes! Our audience is here!" Emmett boomed, catching me off-guard by scooping me up into his arms. "Oh, god, Bella. You stink."

I punched his chest, a little confused by his statement. _He's probably just being silly._ "Shut up, Emmett. Put me down."

He laughed and dropped me on the couch. I laid there, perfectly at ease while Edward came and sat with me, moving my head into his lap.

"Yay!" Alice squealed as she flew down the stairs. "Emmett, you look gorgeous!"

I noticed for the first time that Emmett was wearing an old-fashioned baseball jersey and a cap that said "EC". This getup was different from the other baseball uniforms I had seen on the Cullens. I liked it.

"Thanks," Emmett said, turning his cap to the side like he always wore it. "I try my best."

Alice was also wearing a jersey styled as a mini-dress. Black leggings and a cap that said "AH" completed her look. (I assumed she had taken Jasper's last name when she married him.) "Do you like it?" she asked, pirouetting and dodging Emmett as he tried to trip her.

"Yeah!" I said. "Did you just get these?"

"Yes. I designed them. I designed uniforms for you and Edward as well." She took my hand and pulled me up. "Come on. Let's go get dressed!"

Before I could even protest, she had lifted me and taken me to her massive closet.

"Here you go," she said, handing me something. I stripped and threw it on, surprised that the fitted jersey beautifully accented my curves. "This is also yours," she said, handing me a hat and a pair of dark jeans. The hat read "BC".

"Just for future use," she explained. "Besides, you're a Cullen already anyway." She placed it on my head as I pulled the tight jeans on. "Now, don't you look fantastic?"

I glanced in the mirror. Except for my plain face and short hair, I _did _look good. The jersey was cinched at my waist, accenting my cleavage and my thin waist. "I like it," I nodded.

"Bellllla…Perrine and I can make you look a thousand times better for your wedding. _Please_ come to Paris. I promise I won't throw you a bachelorette party if you come."

I sighed. "Why is my presence necessary, though? You already know what the dresses will look like on me."

"Because you're my sister! Rosalie and Esme are going, too. It'll be fun. It'll give us a chance to _talk_." Her eyes narrowed, and I instantly knew what she was talking about.

My transformation into a vampire.

I let out a jagged breath. "Okay. I'll go if we do that. _And _if we go shopping for lingerie." I paused. "Wait, you're psychic. Am I going to _need_ lingerie?"

She grinned angelically. "I wouldn't let you buy lingerie if you didn't need it."

I was thrilled.

So was Alice, obviously, because she picked me up and twirled me around, singing, "We're going to Paris! We're going to Paris!" over and over again.


	10. Complete

**Author's Note:** Wow, I am so embarrassed! I accidentally posted the wrong chapter for Chapter 10. For those of you who didn't spot the error, I posted Chapter 9 twice. I have fixed this error and hopefully I'm forgiven. Thank you to the reviewers who alerted me to my fault.

So without further ado...here is the REAL Chapter 10!

**Disclaimer:** I am not the owner of _Twilight_. That would be Stephenie Meyer.

**Disclaimer Part II: **There is a bit of sex-related dialogue between characters in this chapter. If words like "ejaculation" make you uncomfortable, then you might want to skip this chapter. You won't miss much…just Edward finding out how sex with Bella could be possible.

Chapter Ten: "Complete" Edward's POV

_There's no time like the present, _I thought to myself as I slowly walked to Carlisle's office. I didn't know why I was so nervous, or why I was so embarrassed. Not only had I worked with my father as a doctor, but I had heard nearly every sexual thought he had. I was very (painfully) familiar with his sex life and he didn't even try to hide his thoughts anymore. We were comfortable with each other.

But I found myself chewing my lip and humming nervously as I tapped on his office door. His thoughts told me to come in before his mouth did. There was no hint of surprise on his face; I had already called to tell him to expect me.

"Edward," he nodded. I smiled as I realized he was hanging a framed picture of our engagement party. It showed me and Bella smiling with Carlisle and Esme. I hadn't even realized Paolo had developed the pictures.

"Carlisle," I replied in acknowledgment. "I…have some questions to ask you."

He smiled knowingly. "I've had a feeling this was coming."

I only blinked as I heard his thoughts. He was right on target as to where this conversation was going. "How…?" I fumbled.

He shrugged as he sat down in his chair. "You're about to get married. We all have assumed that you would find a way to do it."

I sighed. "Great. So my sex life is a frequent topic of conversation when I'm in Seattle?"

He chuckled. "Only among your siblings."

"They've done a damn good job of hiding it," I groaned.

"Don't be embarrassed, son. You know about a lot more in that area of _our _lives."

"True," I nodded. "I guess what I'm asking is if it's…possible."

Carlisle leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs and thoughtfully tapping his chin with a pen. "It has definitely happened before," he nodded. "Look at the incubus and succubus. The humans _do_ survive the actual intercourse, which proves that your ejaculations won't hurt her."

"Yes," I nodded, comfortable with his formal terms. There was no way I could do this if he was using Emmett-slang like _hook-up_ or _booty call_.

"But the vampires do give into the thirst. Of course, my centuries of abstinence have taught me that they _choose_ whether or not to feed."

"So do you think I could resist her blood?" I pressed.

He smiled. "You _tasted_ her blood and you resisted it, son. I don't believe that you _could_ drink it. You love her far too much."

"But what if I accidentally crush her? What if I squeeze her so tightly her bones snap?"

"It _is_ very dangerous for her," Carlisle nodded. "But you have been so gentle with her for so long. I can't imagine how you are even able to kiss her if she smells as good to you as you claim. You have put forth a Herculean effort, and you have succeeded. _I _think a physical relationship is possible. I have faith in you."

"Really?" I asked softly.

He nodded. "Why don't you ask Alice what will happen?"

I immediately felt like blushing. "Er…"

He shrugged. "She's your best bet."

Luckily, Alice was alone when I called her. "Hey, big brother!" she chirped. "What's up?"

"You already know," I replied. "What's your answer?"

She laughed evilly. "Do I?"

"Alice," I groaned, dragging out her name. "Don't make me do this."

She sighed. "Fine. Yes, it's possible; and yes, it will be safe."

"Thank you, Alice," I breathed. "Let me know if you see _anything_ going wrong."

I was ecstatic by her prophecy. Years of sexual abstinence had made me easily excited, and I was about to die to touch Bella. However, my mood quickly spiraled down as I remembered Carlisle's other suggestion.

_It's for Bella,_ I told myself over and over again as I found the rarely-used number in my phone. Feeling more embarrassed than ever, I quickly hit "send".

It rang once before the high-pitched voice answered. "Edward, my darling!"

"Hello, Tanya," I said as pleasantly as I could.

"It's been so long since I've heard your beautiful voice! How _are _you?"

"I'm very well," I said. "I'm getting married, Tanya."

I heard her gasp. "Oh! Wow! Congratulations, cousin! Is she lovely?"

I smiled. "Lovelier than you can imagine," I said truthfully.

"Huh," Tanya said, and I realized she was offended. "I am getting a wedding invitation, right? I must meet this lucky woman."

"Of course," I replied. "I must have my favorite extended family present."

"We're your only extended family, you bastard," she laughed heartily. "Is there another reason you called?"

I shifted uncomfortably in the driver's seat of my Volvo. "Uh…yes. I actually have some…questions."

"I see. And what do they relate to?" She laughed humorously again. "If this is your sick way of proposing to me, I accept."

I rolled my eyes. "Hilarious, Tanya. Actually, I have some…anatomical questions."

"Oh?" I could still hear the humor in her voice.

"I know that you have physical relationships with human men," I told her. "I need you to tell me…how."

Dead silence followed.

"Tanya? Are you there?"

I could hear her clear her throat. "Uh, Edward," she said, her voice strained. "Are you marrying the human you told me about long ago?"

I swallowed. "Yes, Tanya."

"_Why?_"

"Because I love her," I said quietly. "She's the gravity in my world, Tanya. She's the air I breathe. I honestly need her more than I need any animal's blood."

"Are you going to…change her?" she asked cautiously.

I sighed. "No. I refuse to give her this life."

"I see. Well, my cousin, I guess I should give you advice. The main thing is to be gentle. Make sure she knows to tell you when she's uncomfortable or when something hurts."

"Right," I nodded, making a list in my head.

"Your temperature is also a problem, I'm afraid. You'll want to find a way to keep her warm. Electric blankets, perhaps, or a hot shower."

"We already use electric blankets," I informed her. "When she sleeps and I'm there with her."

"Excellent," Tanya approved. "Obviously you'll want to keep your teeth away from her. The hardest part of this will be kissing her mouth, but I'm sure you've already discovered this."

"Yes. Go on."

"And your venom. Strangely enough, your venom is not as deadly as you think. She doesn't need to swallow the venom, but your venom can be all over her skin and it shouldn't affect her. You might want to start off slow, though, to see if she'll have an allergic reaction."

"So my…tongue…can touch her everywhere, except in her mouth?"

"Yes. It's quite safe. And I remember you telling me how good she smells. It will probably be best to hold your breath. I've slept with men who smelled remarkably good, and it was extremely hard to resist. However, practice makes perfect."

"Right," I said. "Is it really that simple?"

"Not quite," she chuckled. "You'll find that you have to be aware of every part of your body, and every part of hers."

"Yes, of course."

"Edward?"

"Yes, Tanya?"

"Be careful. I know you've heard this from Carlisle, but she is extremely fragile. However, I know you'll do fine. You've always been such a gentleman."

"Thank you, cousin," I said, relieved.

"Yes. She's an extremely lucky girl. And it sounds like you're a lucky man."

"I am," I agreed. "The luckiest in the world."

And it was true. Not only did I have the most beautiful woman in the world to call mine, but I was able to explore her. Every part of her.

Finally, our relationship would be complete.

Well…as complete as a bi-species relationship could be.


	11. Fun

**Author's Note: **Here's the chapter that I have been waiting for. This is a bit of a lemon to pad the fall this story is about to take. This is the most graphic chapter I've ever posted, which really isn't graphic compared to other things I have read and written, but I guess I'm shy like Bella. Enjoy, and _**REVIEW!!!**_

**Disclaimer:** This chapter really, really, really makes me want Edward, but unfortunately he is not mine. And neither is any of this other stuff. *winks*

Chapter Eleven: "Fun" Bella's POV

Edward and I had long ago established that Sundays were chore days. It was a sort of unspoken rule that after a while of lounging lazily in bed, we would get up and I would do the laundry and clean the kitchen while he tidied the rest of the apartment. I didn't mind chore days; on the contrary, I actually enjoyed it. I liked having the sense of routine and the feeling that I was taking care of Edward. It wasn't a feeling that I got to experience much. I hoped that as a married vampire, I could be more of a doting housewife and take care of my husband.

So I was a little surprised when I woke up to find Edward already dressed and pulling his shoes on.

"Where are you going?" I yawned, pulling him down to lie beside me.

He kissed me. "Good morning, sweetheart. Carlisle and I actually made plans while you were asleep. You don't mind if I step out for a while, do you?

"Of course not," I said. "I'll just clean up and look forward to having you back."

"Oh, I forgot all about that!" he cringed. "No, don't do any of _my_ chores. I'll take care of it when I get back."

I rolled my eyes. "I think I can tidy the apartment by myself. Have fun with Carlisle."

He had a strange gleam in his eye, which puzzled me, but before I could react he was kissing my cares away. "I will be back ASAP," he said. "Oh, by the way, expect Alice to drop in. And don't get mad at her," he added cryptically.

Knowing all too well that he liked to let Alice bug me herself, I didn't expect him to elaborate. "Great," I sighed. "Oh, well. Hurry back to me."

After he left, I got a quick shower, and dressed casually in jeans and an old t-shirt. Turning on Edward's six-CD player, I just started playing whatever he had already loaded and began to work.

An hour later, my laundry was interrupted by Alice. I heard a key turn in the door, and she threw it open, pulling a bulky suitcase behind her. "Hey, Bella!" she said cheerily. "I just came to drop a few things off."

My eyes zeroed in on the huge suitcase. It looked outrageously expensive, decorated in _L_'s and _V_'s. I knew this was the label of a famous designer, but I couldn't think of the name. "Uh, Alice, what is that?" I said cautiously. "Oh, Louis Vuitton!" I babbled, randomly remembering the name.

Her eyes lit up. "I'm impressed!" she exclaimed. "And of course! I never travel anywhere without Louis."

I rolled my eyes. "So why did you bring that over here? And how did you get a key?!"

She closed the door and dropped the suitcase in the floor. "I had Jasper make me a copy of your key when you came and spent the night in Forks. I didn't think you would mind. Now, Bella, to my main point. I don't want you to flip out. You need to realize that traveling with vampires creates some inconvenience that really can't be helped…"

"What are you talking about, Alice?"

She gave me a guilty grin. "Okay, so this is your suitcase for Paris. I've already loaded it with fashionable clothes. You can't just go see Perrine Bruyere dressed like _that._" Disgusted, she waved a hand at my plain attire.

I sighed. "Should I even bother arguing?"

"No, ma'am. And I also have something else for you." She dug around in her purse, which I noticed matched the suitcase, and pulled out a manila envelope. Smiling angelically, she handed it to me. "This is the flight information, your passport, and your tickets. Do _not_ lose this."

Curious about my passport, I opened the envelope and dumped the contents onto my laundry-covered coffee table.

"Jasper updated your passport," she explained, foreseeing my actions. "Don't tell anyone."

The tickets fell to the floor. Sighing, I picked them up and scanned them. _Flight from Seattle to Paris,_ I noted. _Two-way_…

"_Tomorrow?!?_" I screeched. "We're leaving _tomorrow?_"

She giggled. "Which brings me back to what I was saying about inevitable inconvenience. This is the only stormy week I can see coming for a while, Bella. We don't have a choice."

_Breathe in. Breathe out._ I closed my eyes for a while, calming myself. Finally, I opened my eyes. "Okay, Alice. I guess you've already taken care of everything. Why did you bring my stuff over here?"

"You need to pack your toiletries and things," she shrugged. "I figured I would let you do that."

"Thank you," I mumbled.

She sighed and sat on the carpet, quickly folding up the clothes out of the hamper. "You really should make Edward help out around the house."

"He does," I replied. "Far too much."

"Uh huh," Alice said blankly. "Darling, you're going to have to muster up some excitement about this trip. You are going to be the only party pooper in our traveling party."

"Except for Rosalie," I replied. "She'll be mad as hell at me. She always is."

"I wouldn't count on that," Alice replied. "She dearly loves Paris, and Perrine. I think you'll be charmed by Perrine. He is one of my closest friends. Well, one of my closest human friends."

"Is he any more charming than Paolo?" I asked doubtfully.

Alice's laugh rang through the room. "I am truly sorry about Paolo. He's so overbearing, and I am sure he hits on Edward just as much as he does on Jasper. But he is so talented. You'll see how great the engagement pictures are."

I _was _kind of looking forward to seeing those. I wanted to hang some pictures on these white walls Esme had painted, but of course I had denied all of their Van Goghs and Monets.

"I'm going to go wash dishes," I told her. "You'd be amazed at how many dishes stack up even though I'm the only one who uses them."

She shrugged and followed me into the kitchen. I filled the sink with soapy water. Before I had even noticed she left, she brought the CD player into the kitchen, and cranked the volume up.

I laughed as she started dancing around the kitchen. "Seriously, how old are you?" I mumbled, knowing she could hear me even over the loud music.

"Come on, dance with me!" she invited.

Rolling my eyes, I scooped up some bubbles and blew them at her.

"Seriously!" she demanded. "Come on, you don't ever dance around when you're by yourself?"

I shook my head. "I try to avoid breaking my neck."

"You never twirled in the kitchen when you were a little girl?"

"I don't believe I did," I said dryly. "And you don't know if you did or not."

She shrugged. "I _imagine_ I did. Come on, Bells!"

She pulled my bubble-covered hands out of the sink and started spinning around. The music, dancing, and laughter _was _kind of exciting. I never really got to have silly, girly moments like these, and I never pined for them. However, Alice's bubbly demeanor was infectious. Praying for grace, I willingly spun around with her, laughing.

We were interrupted by Edward. He paused at the door, a little taken aback at the sight of me performing silly dance moves.

I quit dancing, just choosing to laugh and shrug. Alice turned the music down and started to wipe up the bubbles that had overflowed in the sink.

"Wow, two of my favorite women," he crooned, entering the kitchen and pulling me into his arms. "I have to say, Bella is in rare form."

I shrugged and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. When he released me, Alice joined us. "You bastard," she teased him. "Don't I get a kiss?"

He laughed and ducked to kiss her tiny cheek. "That's actually not the first time I've been called that today."

Alice giggled. "I know. That's why I said it."

I started to walk back to the sink, but Edward caught me and wrapped his arms around me from behind. "Have you two had fun?" he murmured into my hair.

"Yes," Alice said. "We're both excited. And I didn't get killed today! She's making progress!"

His cold breath was saturating my hair, making it feel as if it were standing on end. "I see that. Alice, I'm afraid I have to ask a favor."

"Yes, Edward?" she replied sweetly, already knowing what it would be.

"Since you're about to take her away for a week, do you think you can let me spend the day alone with my fiancée?"

Alice pursed her lips together into a knowing smile. It made me nervous. "Yes, sir. Have fun."

Amazed at her lack of an argument, I watched her leave the apartment.

"What was that about?" I started to ask, but his lips pressed to mine. "So you were having fun?" he murmured after the sweet kiss.

"Yes," I admitted. "The little sneak is contagious, I'm afraid. I don't know what I'll do with her."

He grinned crookedly, making my heart pound with lust. "Can…you and I…have a little…fun?"

Blindingly fast, he had me sitting on the counter, and was kissing my neck. "Um, yeah," I breathed, a little too loudly. "What does that entail?"

He laughed against my skin. "I…kind of have a surprise for you in the bedroom."

"Kind of?" I quoted, suspicious.

"Yeah," he smiled. "Do you mind if I take you there?"

"As long as you don't let go," I smiled down at him, kissing his nose.

Following my instructions, he carried me quickly to the bedroom. He set me down at the door and disappeared into the bathroom.

"Edward?" I called.

"I'll be right there, Bella," he replied.

Cautiously, I walked to the bed, noticing first he had turned the covers back. Nervous, I placed a hand on the electric blankets. They were blazing hot--too hot. I would need his cold body very close to be comfortable in that bed.

A hopeful lump in my throat, I turned to see him wet, his waist wrapped in a towel. My eyes widened and my cheeks flushed at his clothing--or lack thereof.

"My skin should be steaming hot," he commented. "This should be…comfortable for you."

My stomach hurting with nerves and anticipation, I stared at the towel. "Please don't tell me you're teasing me," I murmured softly.

He shook his head. "No, Bella." He paused, and his eyes grew very soft. "I'm here for you, if you want me. I realize this is a shock, and probably quite overwhelming…" His mischievous crooked smile appeared again. "But I'm going to go lie between the electric blankets to stay warm. You can decide what to do from there."

He sleekly slid under the covers, and then he threw the towel into the floor.

_Edward is under that blanket,_ I realized. _**Only**__ Edward._

Blushing deeply, I bit my lip and slowly crawled on the bed, on top of the covers. His hands took my arms and pulled me to him, kissing me gently. "I talked to Carlisle today," he admitted. "And I'm…giving you what you want. Well…what I want as well."

My heartbeat was embarrassingly loud, but I couldn't seem to muster up the focus to be embarrassed.

"Are you willing, my love?" he murmured softly.

I nodded slowly, feeling his arms wrap around me.

A wide smile crossed his face. "My darling, you must know that we have to be careful. If I hurt you in any way, you must tell me at once."

"I know, Edward," I said, feeling a little bold. _I'm victorious_, I realized._ I'm getting my way, for once. _I let down my hair from its ponytail, letting it cascade down my shoulders, just the way he liked it.

"I'm afraid I'll have to be careful with your mouth," he sighed. "But I'm willing to explore everywhere else."

I nodded wordlessly. _It's now or never._ Feeling as bold as I had the other night, I laid on top of his covered body and kissed his lips.

"Oh, my love," he sighed, his hands wandering to the bottom of my shirt. I lightly let my tongue run across his lips, and then I pulled away. Holding his gaze, I lifted my arms.

An exuberant smile replaced his brooding expression, and he pulled my shirt off, throwing it like he did his towel. Totally enthralled now, he rolled over so he was hovering above me, and I saw his naked body for the first time.

_God, he is so perfect._

Completely frozen and speechless, I watched as he lightly laid on top of me. And then I felt his cold lips brushing my neck. Breathing heavily, he made a trail down to my chest, and then to the valley between my breasts.

"You are so perfect," he whispered, echoing my thoughts.

"I could say the same for you," I breathed.

Laughing softly, he pulled off my bra, roughly inhaling as he saw me. His lips and tongue played on my front, and finally, I felt his cold fingers slide into my jeans.

Those disappeared fast, along with my panties.

"I've been wanting to do this for so long," he admitted. "You know I love you, right?"

I nodded. "I know. And you know I love you too, right?"

He nodded. "I love you more than anything, Bella Swan."

And then his lips quit talking, and went to work. They made a wet trail down the rest of my body, to the bottom of my feet. Teasing me. I nearly choked as I realized this could be classified as "foreplay". _What a dirty word._

"Edward?" I whispered, feeling hot and flushed and self-conscious and bold all at the same time.

"Yes, beautiful?"

"Have me," I gasped.

Smiling, he cut the drama and pulled us together, managing to swathe our bodies in the electric blankets.

And in those electric blankets, I became the happiest woman alive, completely joined with the most perfect being ever.


	12. Paris

Author's Note:** Here's an extremely girly chapter. This is the creation of Bella's wedding dress. I Googled a bunch of dresses and tried to stick with the Victorian idea that was written in **_**Breaking Dawn**_**, but I couldn't quite find a dress I liked. Finally, I found one that is briefly described here. To get the full effect, you can see this most beautiful dress on my profile.**

**Enjoy, my beautiful readers! And then review!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_…and if that's not bad enough, I don't own this dress, either.

Chapter Twelve: "Paris" Bella's POV

The next day went by in a blur. Alice had been informed enough of mine and Edward's…fun…to schedule a one p.m. flight, to give me a little time to sleep in. And I needed it. Most of the daylight was spent catching an hour of sleep, and then waking up to practice more explicit fun with Edward. And then getting a shower--with Edward, which took a fun while--and then getting dressed. Packing my toiletries, and then more fun, during which Edward commented that my getting dressed was completely pointless.

All of this busyness was interrupted once by a phone call as I was packing my necessities, which I reflected on as the plane took off.

"_Hey, Jake!" I answered it._

"_Hey, Bells! Are we still on for today?"_

"_Oh, crap!" I groaned. "Jake, I am so sorry."_

"_Sorry about what?" he asked, already sounding disappointed._

"_I guess I forgot to tell you," I muttered. "I'm kind of…flying to Paris today."_

_Surprising me, he gave me his husky laugh. "Uh huh. Right."_

_I snorted. "No, seriously, Jacob. I'm packing my stuff right now."_

"_What the hell are you going to Paris for?" he asked, obviously trying to decide whether or not to believe me._

"_Uh…wedding dress shopping?"_

"_In Paris?"_

"_Uh…yeah. Obviously you haven't met my future sister-in-law."_

_He was silent for a moment. "Bella, this isn't you at all."_

"_I know," I sighed. "Trust me, I would much rather be riding your bike than an airplane today. But I don't really have a choice. I'll be home in a week…"_

"_What do you mean, you don't have a choice?"_

_I bit my lip and decided to go with my earlier statement. "Obviously you haven't met my future sister-in-law," I said again, weakly._

"_Bells…" he sighed. "Can I ask a question? And can you…not get mad at me?"_

"_Sure, Jake," I sighed._

"_Are you losing yourself in this relationship?"_

My thoughts were interrupted by the flight attendant, who reminded us to stay in our seats until we were told otherwise.

I was lucky enough to get a seat by Esme, which was a miracle. In the first-class cabin, the rows were made of only two seats. Esme was the perfect travel-mate, conversational only when she sensed I wanted to be. She was a far cry from Alice, who I knew would talk endlessly and demand details of my sexual escapades; and Rosalie, whose chilly silence would be even more irritating and uncomfortable. Esme realized I was tired and gave me silence to sleep in, but talked lightly when I was awake.

As I closed my eyes and settled in for some sleep, I let my mind wander to my…deflowering from the day before.

It had really been incredible, more than I could ever ask for. It was sometimes hard to believe Edward was a virgin like me. His mouth felt so experienced as he kissed and licked the most sensitive of places on my body. His fingers knew just where to press lightly, and just where to massage softly. His legs knew when to straddle me and when to let _me _do the straddling. And his…his…well, it was heavenly, just the right size and force.

As I reevaluated the whole experience, I realized the error in my thoughts. No, of course Edward was just as new at this as I was. I almost giggled audibly as I remembered the way his eyes widened as he took my bra off, and the way they nearly bulged out of his head with lust when I spread my legs. The whole mind-reader thing _and_ the fact that he had practiced medicine obviously told me he had seen a naked woman before, but he wasn't just shocked at my nudity.

He was captivated.

Lustful.

In awe.

Loving.

_Oh, the adjectives I can list_, I thought to myself, amused. _Beautiful, perfect, sexy, tender, a __**sex god**__…_

The next thing I knew, I was waking up to a dark plane and a vampire seatmate reading a thick novel in the dim lights above our row. Not that she needed the lights.

"What time is it?" I groaned softly.

"Nine p.m. on Seattle time," Esme replied quietly. "But it's six a.m. in Paris. Are you hungry? I can order you dinner." I shook my head. "Edward thought to pack some snacks in my bag," I replied. "He is obviously more experienced in this."

She chuckled. "You'll get used to it. I'm sure Edward and Alice will make you a world traveler. Do you need a blanket or anything?"

"No, thanks," I smiled back at her. "How are you? I hope I wasn't talking in my sleep or bothering you or something." I blushed as I realized what I dreamed about--it was exactly what I went to sleep thinking about.

She grinned. "You mumbled a little. I thought Edward was kidding about your sleep-talk." Seeing my panicked expression, she quickly placed a gentle hand over mine. "Don't worry, darling. It wasn't anything embarrassing. You mostly talked about how you love Edward." Her voice grew very soft around his name, and I could hear how the emotion saturated her voice. Her favorite child, her prized treasure, finally loved passionately by someone else. It thrilled her.

I smiled and looked at my lap. "I do," I admitted. "More and more everyday."

Her face was radiant with joy as I peeped back at her. "Thank you, Bella," she murmured. "I can see that you do. And he loves you…so very much."

I nodded. "I know," I said quietly. "I'm trying to warm up to this whole wedding idea."

She smiled knowingly. "It means the world to him," she nodded.

We talked weddings for a while, mostly her telling me about her romantic wedding to Carlisle. The way she described it with such vivid description melted my heart. She and Carlisle were literally perfect for one other, the truest of true loves. Even her account of their wedding centered around their compatibility.

My heart turned into even mushier mush when she told me sincerely, "My dearest wish is that you and Edward are as happy as Carlisle and I are."

Our little heartfelt conversation perked up my mood, and when we flew into Paris, I was actually smiling. I was already too jetlagged to do any shopping--designing, Alice had corrected me--so we went straight to our luxury hotel. Alice had reserved the penthouse suite on the top floor, and it was massive. I had my own bedroom and bathroom, complete with a luxurious hot tub and sauna. But I became extremely tired as soon as I saw the king-sized bed with ten feather pillows. Saying good night to my roommates, I text messaged Edward to let him know we had made it and promptly fell asleep. It was the best bed I had ever touched.

Alice woke me early the next morning, telling me to get a shower so she could make me beautiful. A thorough cleaning felt good after hours on an airplane, and the French breakfast Esme had ordered felt even better. I ate slowly as Alice curled my hair into ringlets and painted me a new face.

I had to admit, I looked pretty. And as Rosalie entered the bathroom with a plastic dress bag, I looked pretty shocked. She smiled at me, almost looking warm and friendly. "Alice and I bought this for you," she said shyly. "Please don't be mad at us. It didn't cost that much."

"I'm not mad," I said softly, a little embarrassed. Alice clapped her hands in glee and jumped up to pull the plastic bag off. It was a creamy lace dress, sleeveless and tea-length.

"It's beautiful," I murmured as Alice pulled it over my body.

"It's vintage," Alice admitted. "I saw this dress in a vintage shop, and I had to have it. You'll see why when we get to Perrine's. This dress was kind of my inspiration for my designs."

"As long as I look this pretty," I admitted, "I'll be fine."

"Admit it--your sister is a genius."

"Sisters!" Rosalie corrected from the next room. "I played a part, too."

Happy with Rosalie's good mood, I beamed. "Thank you, Alice and Rosalie!" I exclaimed.

Both of them wrapped me in a sisterly hug. "You're welcome," they gushed.

Alice rented a BMW to drive to the shop of Perrine Bruyere. Rosalie sat in the front with her, and Esme sat in the backseat, singing along with the radio to a French song I had never heard. I liked the way the language dripped off of her lips like honey. I also liked looking out the tinted windows and seeing all of the famous landmarks, especially the Eiffel Tower. People watching was charming, as well. The Parisians seemed to be having more fun than anyone in Seattle did at nine a.m.

I was a little upset with Alice pulled up to a small shop. The city was beautiful, and I wanted to see more of it. But the shop was quite charming. It was white, with a pale roof and trimming. Esme obviously approved. She rattled off the name of the style of the building.

"Now, Bella," Alice hissed under her breath. "Try to be kind, graceful, and charming. Perrine is easily offended. I'll also be speaking a lot of French, so just smile and go with it."

"Yes ma'am," I said a little sarcastically. However, my breath caught as I saw the beautiful woman come out of the front door.

"_Bonjour_," she greeted us. She was dressed in a black shiny dress and red heels, with black-framed glasses that made me think of the seventies. Her sleek black hair was pulled into a bun, and she carried a clipboard. She also had a Bluetooth piece in her ear.

Alice greeted her enthusiastically, and they quickly exchanged a lot of back and forth. Finally, the woman, who Alice introduced to us as Arielle, led us into the shop.

I first noticed the pale carpet and pale walls, and then the art all around us. Perrine Bruyere was obviously a collector of fine art. He had everything from paintings to sculptures to rugs to furniture. Arielle was again rattling off in French, this time to Esme, who had obviously inquired about the décor. She moved briskly, leading us through the beautiful rooms, until finally we stopped at a completely empty white wall. The only decoration was the bright blue door that Arielle knocked on. "Monsieur Bruyere?" she called.

A minute later, the door opened and a young man grandly greeted us. "Oh, my Alice!" he said in a thick accent, kissing both her cheeks. "You are as lovely as ever! And my Rose, and Esme!" He greeted them just as warmly. I was a little staggered to see that he didn't react to their cold skin. I wondered how much this man knew about the Cullens.

And then he turned to me. "And this must be Edward's beautiful bride!" he exclaimed, grabbing my shoulders so we could kiss each other's cheeks. "Welcome to my home," he greeted brightly. "My name is Perrine Bruyere, and you may call me Perrine."

"I'm Bella," I smiled at him. "You have a beautiful home."

"It won't be as beautiful as you when we're finished with you!" he laughed, winking at Alice. "Come in, come in!" He turned to Arielle and shooed her away.

I cautiously stepped into the giant room while Alice, Rosalie, and Esme walked in and made themselves comfortable, hanging their purses on the coat rack and immediately going to the overstuffed white couch. Trying to imitate their calm, cool, and collected demeanors, I followed and perched on the edge of the couch, crossing my legs.

Perrine walked with total confidence, holding his head high as he came to the coffee table with a thick scrapbook. "This is a collection of my designs from this season," he said.

"This season only?" Alice gasped. "Perrine, someone has been a busy bee!"

He frowned. "A bee?"

"Sorry," Alice said. "It's just a phrase. What I mean to say is, I'm impressed."

He shrugged. "I'm a lonely bachelor. I have plenty of time on my hands. But my dear Alice, I must say that I am already drawing inspiration from Bella's dress she's wearing now. Was that your purpose?"

Alice grinned. "You know me well."

"I helped pick it out," Rosalie added.

"You both did a beautiful job," he smiled. "Stand, Bella, and let me see."

Blushing at being the center of attention, I stood and slowly turned, grateful Alice had let me wear ballet flats.

"What is the theme of the wedding?" Perrine asked.

Esme then jumped in. "Alice and I have discussed it, and we thought that maybe we could do a theme spanning from turn-of-the-century to Victorian."

He smiled knowingly. "I think it fits."

I again wondered how much he knew about the Cullens…about my future husband.

"What if we add a fairy tale spin to it?" Perrine asked.

Alice's eyes went blank for just a few seconds, and she smiled. "Yes! I know exactly what you mean!"

"But I don't," Esme said politely. "Perrine, do you have any sketches?"

"I do," he chuckled, taking the book out of Alice's hands. Swiftly he flipped through the scrapbook until he found the one he was thinking of. Smiling proudly, he placed the book on the table so we could see.

"Oh!" Rosalie nearly choked. "It's _perfect_!!"

Esme sighed in admiration.

"I have a few improvements," Alice suggested.

Perrine laughed, clearly enjoying this. "Of course you do."

"Is this dress already made?" Esme asked.

Perrine shook his head. "I never make a dress if it hasn't been ordered. It's a waste of materials. But I think we can put it together. Bella, are you willing to be a live mannequin?"

"Uh, sure," I squeaked. I wasn't entirely sure what this would entail.

Immediately Perrine and Alice went into hyper-drive. I was ushered into a spacious dressing room and given a thin slip to change into. I felt utterly naked as I stepped out, but I was quickly swathed in white cloth.

And that was the rest of my week, to sum it up. I literally became a "live mannequin" as Perrine, Alice, and Esme pinned the dress together and sewed things up by hand. We spent long days and late nights at Perrine's house, and then I would be rushed back to the hotel so Perrine and I could sleep.

Finally, by the fourth day, Alice and Esme decided that my job was done, and I could see Paris. Alice stayed with Perrine, to no one's surprise, but Esme and Rosalie took me out into the city. I ate at expensive restaurants, sampling whatever the waiters would suggest. I saw plays and we even went shopping for wedding jewelry and shoes. By the fifth day, I was wondering if Alice had forgotten our deal.

But when I went to Perrine's shop/house/warehouse that day, Alice whispered to me that we had to go shopping for other things. Totally happy, I was actually eager to try on the finished product when Perrine invited me back into the dressing room.

Alice made me close my eyes as she and Esme slid the dress over my head, buttoning it up in the back. "Don't you dare peek!" my almost-sister threatened. "You can't see this until I let you."

The satiny material felt almost sensual against my skin, and I was so eager to see it. I wondered if being around hormone-less female women somehow boosted my estrogen.

"Okay, Bella," Alice said. "Step over here, in front of the big mirror…open!"

I opened my eyes, and I gasped.

_I look…beautiful_, I marveled. The dress fit me exactly right, with a slightly low-cut neckline and a fitted waist. The dress smoothly flowed down my body, down to my feet. The cap-sleeves made me look graceful.

"It's…amazing," I whispered.

Perrine and Rosalie both clapped their hands in applause. "Bella, you look _fantastic_!" Rosalie squealed.

I actually felt tears spring to my eyes as Esme pulled me into a hug. "Oh, Bella, you look marvelous! Edward is going to fall in love all over again when he sees this!"

"Thank you," I breathed. "You really think so?"

"He won't be able to take his eyes off you!" Perrine gasped.

"Or his _hands_!" Alice giggled. "You're perfect!"

Perrine smiled proudly. "Alice, I love your modifications. You are ingenious."

"It didn't look that good until she actually put it on," Rosalie corrected him.

I turned back to look in the mirror, and I saw the tear slide down my cheek before I felt it. My future was coming together so nicely. I knew for sure that despite what Edward said, I _would_ be immortal one day.

And finally, I looked like I belonged in that future.


	13. Bruises

**Author's Note: **I _really _need reviews. Please. I'll just love you all the more! *angelic smile*

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns _Twilight_, and she would probably cry in agony if she knew what I'm doing to her characters.

Chapter Thirteen: "Bruises" Alice's POV

After completing the bridal dress _and_ my bridesmaid dress, I knew I had one more thing to shop for. Bella and I had made a deal, after all, and I had to uphold my end of the bargain.

Plus I really wanted some details about her little rendezvous with Edward.

Knowing that my shy almost-sister would never do this in front of Esme and Rosalie, I decided to complete this mission myself. I dressed her in fine clothing and we were off to lingerie shops I was familiar with.

"This doesn't look like a Victoria's Secret," Bella sighed as she started to look at price tags.

"Don't complain," I told her. "It isn't that expensive. What do you see that you like? Or should I ask, what do you see that _Edward_ would like?"

Her cheeks went red. "Something modest?" she suggested, pausing in front of a selection of only slightly-skimpy satin-and-lace nightgowns.

"Those are good," I said, a little disappointed that she decided to be conservative. "I bet the black one would be pretty on you."

"You bet or you _see_?" she asked me.

I smiled and checked the future. "Yup, it looks great," I nodded. "Here, I'll be your shopping cart," I volunteered as I selected the size I knew she would need, draping it over my arm.

"So, how _were_ things with Edward?" I asked innocently, looking at some tank-and-shorts sets. I knew that this shop wouldn't have the sexy stuff, but she still needed some basics.

She blushed again, making me realize that she would be doing a lot of that today. "They were great," she giggled. "Just what I hoped for. Even better, actually."

"I don't get any details?" I asked, disappointed. "You don't have any questions?"

"I don't think so," she replied, looking at a silk bathrobe.

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Bells. You need something racier."

"Racier?" she asked as I walked to the counter to pay.

"_Oui_," I replied, smiling. "I know just the place."

We walked briskly to my favorite lingerie store in the world--_Presque Nu_. Bella's eyes nearly popped out when she saw the mannequins. "Uh, Alice," she whispered. "What are you doing? It looks like prostitutes shop here!"

"Prostitutes can't afford this lingerie," I hissed back. "Trust me, okay? Jasper loves everything I buy here. I _promise_ you Edward will adore you after you debut some of these creations. You'll bring out a side of him you've never seen before."

The blush came out again, but she kept walking through the store. I could see the plain shock on her face as she took in the corsets and whips.

"I don't know, Alice," she said doubtfully. "Maybe Edward does have a side I don't know about, but I'm not sure I want to bring out that side." Her nose crinkled at an extremely nasty pair of crotch-less panties.

I laughed. "This place actually has some really classy lingerie. You just have to go to the more expensive part of the store." I led her behind a curtain, into _my_ section.

She was a little more relieved as the torture devices disappeared, and classy lacy things hung on the racks. "I take it you've already seen something here?"

"Of course," I grinned. And instantly, I stopped in front of it. "_This_."

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. "No."

"Yes," I insisted. "You're going to look fantastic!"

She bit her lip. "I don't think I can pull that off."

"I _know_ you can!" Quickly, I was grabbing the whole ensemble in her size. "Try it on."

"No, Alice. I would be embarrassed to see myself in that."

"Bella," I whined. "It's in Edward's favorite color. The blue he loves on you so much…plus it's _very_ sexy. Just try it on. For Edward."

Remarkably, she didn't argue. I followed her to the dressing room, carrying the bra, panties, fishnet stockings, sapphire garters, lacy robe, and stiletto heels. Grinning widely, I handed it to her over the dressing room door. "Let me know if you need help!"

But when she stepped out, I couldn't see anything. She had covered herself completely with the lace robe, and was stretching it tight against her body.

"I can't see, Bella," I reminded her.

Her face pale, she stuck out one fishnet-covered leg. I smiled at the way the sapphire contrasted beautifully with her white skin. "See, Bells? Your legs look great!"

But then I saw her face. She wore an expression of fear. Not nerves, not modesty, not embarrassment.

Terror.

"Bella," I said, about to freak out. "Sister, what are you trying to hide?"

Without asking her permission, I roughly moved her arms so I could see her torso. What I saw there made me want to vomit up the animal blood I had drank last night.

Bruises. Angry bruises, in blue and purple and _black_. Huge black splotches.

"Bella, what the hell happened to you?" I demanded.

She whimpered as she sank to the floor. "Edward…wasn't careful enough."

Now I really felt like throwing up. "You've been like this all week?" I nearly shouted.

She buried her face in her hands. "Yes. I mean, no. I mean…" She started to cry. "I've been slightly bruised, and a little sore. But it's gotten a lot worse."

"Why didn't I see this coming?" I murmured, half to myself.

"I don't know," she sobbed. "But you know what bruises mean."

I knew. Of course I knew.

"Sit still, Bella," I said, digging around in my purse for my travel sewing kit. Her eyes widened as I pricked her finger with the needle. Carefully, I lifted the drop of blood to my nose.

The harsh scent of cancer cells made my mouth go dry. All the venom swirling around disappeared as I lost the temptation of her warm blood in front of me.

"How bad is it?" she choked.

Quickly, I snapped into my no-nonsense mood. I pressed a tissue to her hand and pulled out my cell phone. "I'm calling the airport right now. We have to leave immediately. You need to be in Carlisle and Edward's care."

_**End of Part I**_


	14. Part II Prologue

**Author's Note:** This prologue begins Part II, and the drama and sadness of the story. Is "enjoy" the proper sentiment?

Also, I highly suggest checking out this song. It's a beautiful song with beautiful music _and _lyrics. That has become kind of rare in today's music industry, but Death Cab for Cutie never disappoints.

Also…you need to review this story!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Twilight,_ these characters, Death Cab for Cutie, or this song.

_And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to Father Time,_

_As I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409._

_And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today_

_As each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me._

_Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye,_

_It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds._

_But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all._

_And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground as the TV entertained itself._

'_Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room,_

_Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news._

_And then the nurse comes in and everyone will lift their heads_

_But I'm thinking of what Sarah said:_

_That "Love is watching someone die,_

_So who's gonna watch you die?"_

-- "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie from their album "Plans"


	15. Part II Plans

**Author's Note:** Review, por favor.

**Dislcaimer**: I don't own any of these characters or this song. Hopefully this story will surprise you a little more.

Part II, Chapter One: "Plans" Edward's POV

"_And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to Father Time, as I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409."_

_**Plans.**_

It had become such a dirty word over the past two months.

Since my rebirth as an immortal, I had never felt the need to make plans or organize a schedule. I left time behind, just like I left my heartbeat and soul behind. When one has all the time eternity has to offer, why would he plan ahead? Why wouldn't he procrastinate?

But of course, that changed as soon as I saw her.

Suddenly, my life revolved around that one hour of Biology, five days a week. For the first part, I was only focused on trying not to kill her. But then, the more I gazed at her beautiful face and the more I tried to decode her mind…well, the more sacred that hour of Biology became.

And then as I grew bolder, the eight hours we would share every night (that she didn't quite know about). And then, when we finally became a couple, every second of my existence became centered around her. Suddenly, time existed. I felt most alive during the daytime, which was quite the opposite of my usual life. Hearing her voice and laugh for hours on end, and then the _nights_! The nights where her warm body was cuddled up to me for roughly eight hours…

Yes, time suddenly meant a lot.

Especially when I realized that my time with her was limited, because I _could not take away her soul._

And now, years later, we were on my time.

I was the one who wanted the white wedding. I wanted to invite my acquaintances and show off my gorgeous wife. I wanted to make my love for her official and binding and permanent. I wanted _Edward and Bella_ to be known. _Mr. and Mrs. Cullen…_

And she had finally warmed up to the idea. And we had made plans.

Plans. Prayers, in the grand scheme of things.

We begged for just a few hours of the universe to be dedicated to us, to our public love. A short wedding, and a long reception. Filled with intimacy and love and family and music…

Plans that I now wondered if we would be able to keep.

"Edward," said a kind, familiar voice, jarring me out of my thoughts. My mother's hand softly rubbed my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head honestly, noticing for the first time that I had been humming mindlessly. Such a human reaction…humming and rocking…back and forth...over and over again...

"Darling, you need to get out of this room," she suggested gently. "Go hunt. I know you're thirsty."

I quit humming and looked softly into her concerned face. "What if she wakes up and I'm not here? She'll be scared to death."

"I will be here with her."

"No," I sighed. "Thank you for the offer, but I can't."

"I understand," she said gravely. Her mind searched for a new subject, something lighter. "Those pictures are lovely."

I glanced over at the table of pictures Alice had set up. Carlisle had warned us that a comatose patient often woke up unable to remember anything. So Alice had created a display of our engagement pictures, just in case Bella needed a reminder. It was beautiful, and so happy-looking. I envied the man in those pictures. He was once so sure of his future…of his love's future…

"Yes," I agreed. "_She _is lovely."

Esme gave me a sad smile and placed something on the table beside me. "I bought you this. You don't have to use it…I just remember you used to enjoy journaling. Maybe you can find yourself again."

_Not likely, my dear mother,_ I thought. _I know where I am. I'm lying on the bed with her, in the same deep, passionless sleep, lost in the space floating around in her heart._

Esme kissed my hair and left wordlessly. I started humming again and turned my eyes back to the pictures. It was then that the movement caught my eye. Instantly, I jumped up and went to investigate. I sighed as I realized it was just a random finger twitch. Those happened quite often, and they meant nothing.

I bent and softly kissed her fingers. "I love you, Bella Swan," I murmured. "Won't you wake up and tell me you love me, too?"

No response. Just the beeping of the heart monitor.

My heart shattering into even tinier pieces, I brushed her hair out of her beautiful face. Two months had caused her hair to grow longer. It was almost to her shoulders now. Perfect for a veil…

Kissing her lips, I went and sat back down in my chair. I saw Esme's gift, and I cautiously picked it up. It was a pretty leather-bound journal with lots of blank pages. Perfect for a lot of scribbling and thought-jotting.

Reflexively, I picked up a pen and started writing.

_My dearest love,_

_I have told you many times I could sit and watch you sleep for days on end, just drinking in your physical beauty and admiring it._

_I was wrong._

_Don't get me wrong; you are more beautiful than ever. But you're so…lifeless. You've been in this deep sleep for two months now. No talking, no reacting, no emotions of any kind. Just peaceful sleep…sleep that I envy. I wish I could go to sleep and forget everything that has happened over the last two months._

_This letter is quite random. I was never planning on writing you letters or keeping a diary for you. However, Esme was my inspiration, and Mother always knows best. I suppose if I'm going to keep you a compilation of letters, dated to the very day you wake up, I should start from the beginning._

_I was so excited when I saw Alice's number on my phone. Somehow, I just knew that you were coming home a day early. I imagined you had picked out a beautiful dress and beautiful lingerie and you wanted to come home to my arms, where I could embrace you and remind you of how much I love you._

_Again, I was wrong._

_Alice's voice was filled with panic. You were bruised up, she said, and you smelled of cancer cells. The scariest part was that she couldn't see anything. She couldn't see the plane ride home, or the diagnosis, or the treatment. I found myself panicking as I waited for you to come running into my arms. I broke things and screamed a lot, even though I knew it wouldn't help._

_Finally, when your plane landed, and you did come running to me, my heart broke. I could smell the leukemia all over you. Alice, Esme, and Rosalie couldn't comprehend the strength of the smell as they didn't know what to look for in your smell. But Carlisle and I nearly had heart attacks as we smelled you._

_Even scarier, I took you home and did a quick inspection on your body. Alice was right--you were so bruised up; you looked as if you had been in a wrestling ring with no protection. But it was easy to find the __**real**__ cause of these bruises._

_Me._

_I matched my hands to the patterns of the bruises on your back. I could see where my fingers played a little too much, and where my arms squeezed you a little too tightly. I can honestly say this was the worst feeling I had ever had at that time. So much guilt and fear. I felt like a monster. To make matters worse, you started sobbing. "Please, Edward," you begged. "Don't blame yourself. It was our first time…now we know what to expect."_

_I have to admit, I was a little angry at your apathy, but I respected your wishes. It was as if a sixth sense told me to make you as happy as possible…that my time with you was limited…_

_We checked you into the hospital under Carlisle's care. You were optimistic, always smiling and obeying every instruction we fired at you. You had a conference with us to discuss the best treatment options._

_Just when I thought my heart couldn't break anymore, you started crying softly. "Please don't put me on chemotherapy," you begged tearfully. "I don't know if I can stand to lose my hair and curves just before my wedding. I can't live like that again."_

_It was then that Carlisle suggested a bone marrow transplant._

_We started to prepare for one, and started to look for bone marrow matches. I was angry that I was a weak vampire, unable to give you healthy blood or healthy bone marrow. Jacob Black even volunteered, which made him grow ten feet in my eyes. (I can honestly say, lovely Bella, that he is a true friend, the truest friend you have outside of my family.) But he wasn't a match, and he was disappointed. You were, too. So was I._

_Finally, Carlisle decided that Renee would be your best bet. We made arrangements for her to fly to Seattle to undergo the surgery. But as we waited for her to arrive, you drifted._

_You went to sleep one night, cuddled in my arms. I kissed you passionately and told you that I loved you. You so wholeheartedly assured me that you loved me, too. "More than the stars," you promised. "More than all the water or dust in this world."_

_That was the last time I saw you conscious. Those were the last words I heard out of your mouth. I left the hospital to go on a quick hunt, and when I came back, you were unconscious. Carlisle and I hoped that this coma wouldn't last long. Of course, with Jacob's presence, Alice's visions were blank. I found myself silently praying to Whoever is out there: "Please, just wake her up…I'll do anything…my soul, if I still have it, is Yours!"_

_And well, to make a long story short, here we are, two months later. I'm impatiently awaiting your awakening. About sixty percent of me believes that you will wake up and say something witty or adorable. The other forty percent…well, I try not to let him talk to me that much._

_Please wake up, my darling. You don't understand how much I need you. To go two months without hearing your voice or seeing your blush…it's torture! I whisper your name in your ear, and I kiss your lips everyday, hoping that some fairy tale magic will happen and my Sleeping Beauty will indeed wake up._

_But I'm still waiting._

_However, I know one thing. I know that our love has already survived so much. Evil vampires, years of separation, one round of cancer…what is a coma compared to that?_

_I love you, Bella. I love you so, so much. You truly are the missing piece in my heart. I just need you to wake up. I need your perfect lips to move against mine. I need your soft voice to whisper that you love me, too._

_I need __**you**__._

_But until you do come back to me, I am eternally yours, waiting by your bed, kissing your hands and praying to all the gods ever imagined that you can be mine again._

_All my love,_

_Your adoring fiancée._


	16. Part II Farther

**Author's Note: **Wow, I have so many apologies to make! I've completely abandoned this story for far too long. I've been crazy-busy. Also, I've been procrastinating because all of this emotion just isn't very fun to write. I'm tiring of sadness and sickness and broken hearts. As any writer knows, you begin to feel what you write…and this is a heavy burden on me. During class, I've been writing some happier _Twilight_ fanfics that I'm in love with. One is a one-shot, my first experiment with BDSM. (I'm still debating whether or not I should publish it because it's embarrassingly smutty. For you lemon-lovers…I would love to hear your opinions on the question of publication. Let me know in the form of a review on this story…along with your thoughts on this story.) The other is an all-human love triangle that will probably result in broken hearts, but for now, it's some crazy, sexy fun with a badass Bella. So I'm enjoying those stories, but I know I must finish _What Sarah Said_. I'm trying. I really am.

Before you read this chapter, I would like to remind you that in my story, things happened a little differently from the novels. Edward didn't come back to Bella until years later, and once Jacob first phased, he never went back to Bella. Victoria and Laurent gave up on Bella, so there was no need for Jake to protect her. Basically, Bella was completely alone (except for Charlie, and her lunch table) and oblivious for years.

Don't forget that you can see Bella's wedding dress (in MY story) on my profile! I would love to hear what you lovely reviewers think of it.

_Now_ you can get out of my head and get into Jacob's! This is an intense chapter, but maybe picturing Taylor Lautner will make you feel better. It always works for me!

Part II, Chapter Two: "Farther" Jacob's POV

"_And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today, as each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me."_

_**Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

Though I knew that those beeps were good, they irritated me to no end. The heart monitor--the only reminder that Bella was alive. I kind of hoped that as I stayed in this room with her barely-alive body, the beeps would fade into the background. They didn't.

I stared at her face, my mind wandering. She really was just so beautiful, even in her comatose state. Her skin was pale, but smooth and flawless. Her lavender eyelids stayed over her breathtaking brown eyes, but her long lashes were pretty enough. Her lips appeared to be curled up in a smile, which was proof to me that wherever her mind was, she wasn't suffering. I felt my eyes wander up to the ceiling, wondering if she was somehow hovering over us.

_What would she see if she was?_

Me, definitely. I had scarcely left her side since she had gotten home from Paris. My huge body dominated the plastic couch a few feet away from her bed. I appeared to fill up half the room.

And Edward. While I had stayed with her for most of the time, he had stayed with her for far more, only leaving a handful of times in two months. He told me he was going to hunt, that he couldn't stand the agony of a dry throat and a hungry body. Alice, who had somewhat become a friendly acquaintance, had explained candidly that their vampiric thirst was far more intense than a human's hunger. It caused them physical pain, apparently, and loss of control.

Edward sat across the room now, kneeling at her bedside. He was softly stroking her arm, whispering so quietly that I only knew this by the occasional twitching of his lips. He felt my eyes on him, and quickly kissed her mouth before sitting on the mattress next to her.

"It would be really useful if you could read her mind," I murmured.

"Wouldn't it though?" he sighed. "I swear, Jacob Black, I would give my own life to be able to find out where her mind is right now."

I nodded. "Yeah. I was just wondering if she is aware of us."

"They teach us in medical school that while we can't be positive it's true, some comatose patients claim they could hear their surroundings before they woke up. There's actually a man who woke up and knew that his father had died. He had heard it being discussed while he was in the coma, and he was able to only grieve in his mind."

"That's proof enough for me," I said, shifting uncomfortably in my chair.

He turned away from me and looked back at the girl laying on the bed. Obviously inspired by our conversation, he started humming a melody, just in case she was hearing us. His voice was too perfect; it kind of irritated me.

Going back into my head, I concentrated again on her face and on the planes of her body, hidden under blankets. So beautiful, I again acknowledged. Those smiling lips got to me again, and I found myself wishing I had been able to kiss them just once. I just wanted to know how it would feel, if her kisses were as perfect as her lips were…

Edward sighed, and I realized he was hearing every thought of mine. They were grating on his nerves, too. "Sorry," I murmured, standing up. "I'm going to go get something to eat, and give you some alone time."

I softly rustled Bella's thick hair, and walked out to the elevator. When the doors opened, I nearly jumped when I saw the familiar face.

"Good, you're leaving," Sarah said, jumping up to kiss my chin. "Do you want to go get lunch?"

I nodded wordlessly, stepping onto the elevator. Immediately, she pulled me into a hug. "Jake, honey, talk to me."

I shook my head. "There's nothing to talk about. She's still in the coma. No change."

"You don't look so good."

I offered her a small smile. "Oh. Well…you look good."

She beamed. "Thank you. It'll be good for you to get out of the hospital. Let's go to that little deli."

"Good idea," I said.

She kissed me before the elevator doors opened on the first floor. I felt kind of bad kissing her after fantasizing about Bella…but Sarah's empathy was transmitted through the kiss, and it actually made me feel better.

"Thank you," I breathed.

"Anytime, sweetie."

I remained silent until we were seated in our private booth at the deli. I only spoke because Sarah made a statement that I couldn't escape. Leaning forward, she took my hands. "Jake," she said softly. "You have to get out of that room more often. Bella is sucking the life out of you."

Her words stung. "No," I disagreed quietly. "The life is being sucked out of _her_."

She ignored me. "This isn't healthy, Jacob. You've abandoned the rest of your life for another man's fiancée. You've all but abandoned _me_."

I shrugged. "I need to support her. And Charlie. Charlie is really suffering…he's more trusting of me than he is of Edward."

She sighed. "This isn't about Charlie, this isn't about Billy, this isn't even about Alice or Edward or Esme or Carlisle, no matter how wonderful they are! This is about _you_."

I looked at her incredulously. "Are you _jealous_? Are you really jealous of my best friend, who happens to be in a coma due to cancer?"

Her eyes went wide. "No! Oh, Jacob, sweetie, how can you even think that? I'm not trying to pull you away from her for me. But you know that it is very possible that she isn't going to make it."

I closed my eyes and pulled my hands from hers a little roughly, pressing my thumbs to my throbbing temples. "I'm not thinking like that. I'm trying to be an optimist."

"All I'm saying is that Bella would want you to have a life outside of her, especially if her life is fading away."

I shook my head. "I can't, honey. I owe Bella my time, my care."

I opened my eyes to see her blue eyes questioning my sanity. "How do you surmise that?"

I groaned. I had just opened a can of worms that I had been avoiding, even within myself. "I wasn't able to…save her."

"Save her?" She stared at me blankly. "Honey, I don't follow." Softly she kissed my hands.

I was somewhat grateful for the waitress, because she put our plates on the table, forcing me to pull my hands back. "You don't know our…history, Sarah. You weren't even in Washington when all of this happened."

"All of what? Jake, I don't know your history with her, because all you say is that it was 'friendly' and 'good for Billy and Charlie'. And all of that generalization makes me wonder how deep this history was…and how much you _aren't_ telling me."

I sighed. "Sarah, do you really want to hear everything?"

She bit her lip. "Uh…do I?"

"It's nothing you'll be jealous of, I promise." _As much as I hate that truth_…I prayed she couldn't detect the regret in my voice.

Her blue eyes bored into me. "Okay. I'm listening," she said flatly.

I closed my eyes. "Bella and I have known each other since we were toddlers," I began. "We used to make mud-pies together when she would come visit her dad. And then she moved to Forks permanently. I was really happy, because her presence made Charlie and Billy happy…and because I grew to have a crush on her." My cheeks filled with blood, which made me think of Bella's lovely flush.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Keep going."

I really wasn't appreciating her attitude, but I knew that Sarah was a fighter when it came to people she loved. And she loved me. She deserved better treatment than what I was giving her.

I took a deep breath. "She and Edward were high school sweethearts, and it killed me. My father never liked the Cullens, and seeing Edward with her made me…apprehensive about him. It was probably just jealousy, though."

I looked down at the table, remembering that while Sarah knew about my unique species, she had no idea that vampires existed. She had stumbled upon the truth about werewolves by accident early in our relationship. (She researched Quileute legends in her Native American History class, and then realized that I fit those legends exactly. I remember thinking that she reminded me so much of Bella, easily figuring out the truth.)

So I would have to edit my story, leaving out the parts about the bloodsuckers. I prayed I could do this without slipping and continued, "Her senior year, Edward and his family moved away. Edward promptly cut off all communication with her. I'm not really sure why. But she went through a very deep depression and was absolutely miserable. I was there for her, always avoiding any mention of the Cullens, and always there to listen to her. I slowly began to help her pick up the pieces of her life. She grew to be completely reliant on me…her happiness was completely reliant on me. The fact that she was so tortured hurt me, but I wanted to steal her heart away from Edward and keep it for myself. I wanted her to be mine.

"I made a promise to her that I would never leave her, that I would never make her feel the depression that he made her feel. And then it happened. One night, we went to see a movie, and she invited some idiot from her school. It was obvious that he had a massive crush on her…but she ignored him. She seemed to favor me. It made me confident. And the dweeb made me mad. I sort of lost it…and then I got sick."

"The change," Sarah whispered, her eyes wide. She had heard of the magic-working sickness from my pack and from the legends.

I nodded, scalding tears in my eyes. "Yeah. Damn, it was hard. I was feeling physically horrible, and then I turned into a fucking _wolf_. And then it was Sam Uley who helped me! You've heard how much I hated him…let's just say I was going through mental anguish. But it was the hope that I could stay a human that kept me going…so I could see Bella…

"And then I saw Emily. Her scars…" I realized I was sort of rambling, but kept going. "I thought she got mauled by a bear. But then I realized that her scars matched Sam's claws exactly…and then I heard the guilt in his thoughts…

"Sam and Emily's story made me realize that I couldn't be around Bella. What if I saw her pining for Edward, and that made me mad? Could I control myself? The answer was no. I couldn't even control myself when it was rainy outside. The fucking _rain_ pissed me off, and made me explode into a wolf.

"So I broke my promise. I broke our friendship. I completely cut myself off from her. As my self-control grew stronger, I considered going to her and apologizing and explaining everything. I knew she could handle it. She's always been strong. But my brothers convinced me that that wasn't a good idea. I had to protect her by staying away from her. So I did stay away, and I broke her heart all over again. Not that she ever loved me as anything more than a friend…but you know that it hurts when a friend turns on you. By the time I was under perfect self-control, she had moved to Seattle for college, and I had fallen in love with you.

"So now you know, Sarah. I did love her, and perhaps I was in love with her. But I broke her…and now I owe it to her to get her through this rough patch in her life. When I found out she needed a bone marrow transplant, I was so willing to give her any of my blood or bone marrow or _life_. But Carlisle ran some blood tests, and we learned that my genes prevented me from being her match. I have a different number of chromosomes than she does, because I'm not entirely human. So once again, my _species_ has kept me from being there from her. From saving her. My inability to give her bone marrow resulted in her losing more time, and just as they were about to consult her mom about being a donor, she slipped into this coma. This coma that I can't pull her out of. So since that's three times that I can't save her...at least I can be there for her, by her bedside, praying my fucking heart out to Whoever is out there."

At first, Sarah just stared blankly at me. And then tears filled her eyes. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to keep the sob from escaping. I wondered what the hell she was crying over. _Is my story really that compelling? _I thought. _Surely she's not crying for Bella. That's ridiculous._

I stared at my untouched sandwich until she composed herself. Sarah was tough, a survivor, and she didn't like for people to witness her pain. She had been raised to believe that as a woman, she shouldn't appear to be weak, because a man might try to take advantage of that weakness. It really was just best for me to turn my eyes away from her sobs.

Finally, she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Jake," she whispered, and I looked up at her. Her eyes were red, and her hand was running through her thick hair nervously. And then I saw a small sliver of what Embry and Quil had been talking about. Her vulnerability...her grief...they made her look like Bella. She cleared her throat again and said, "I understand now. But you can't be chained up in that guilt. You did the right thing by staying away."

I shrugged. "That's your opinion."

"No, Jake, sweetheart. That's fact."

"I'm not very hungry anymore," I sighed.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Let's go somewhere. Let's go on a walk in the park. You like to walk and be outside. It's not raining."

I shook my head. "I just don't have the energy, Sarah. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," she sighed. "I understand. Do you want me to drive you to La Push? Or to my apartment? We could just go take a nap together."

I closed my eyes. "I need to be at the hospital."

She stared at me in shock. "Are…you…serious?"

I wrapped my sandwich up in the paper and stood up. "Yeah. I need to go."

She pursed her lips and turned her wide blue eyes to me. There was something there around the iris…something awful and painstakingly honest. Grief. "Jake…"

"I'm sorry, Sarah. I have to be with her."

She stood up and stared at her feet. Her voice hoarse from holding in sobs, she whispered, "I guess I expected that."

She graciously offered me a ride back to the hospital since it was starting to sprinkle…and, I supposed, because she was such a compassionate person. I knew that she would always treat me kindly, no matter how badly I hurt her.

And I knew that I was hurting her a lot.

But as I rode the elevator up to the ICU, and as I paused at Bella's door, Sarah was instantly forgotten.

Edward was sitting on the floor, crouched up against the corner of the room, his body _quaking. _He sort of reminded me of Paul…whenever Paul was ready to _murder _someone.

"What is it?" I gasped as I went and stared at Bella's body. Her chest was still rising up and down, but she looked even paler.

He pointed to Carlisle, who I hadn't even noticed. He was holding a long sheet of paper that measured her heart rate for the day, his hands shaking.

And as the slow _beep…beep…beep _sounded in the room, I realized.

Her heart rate was decreasing.

Her heart was weakening, slowly giving out.

My eyes flickered to the despised heart monitor, and I saw the very shallow peaks.

The peaks that told me she was farther from me than ever…and she was moving even farther away, into the deep, suffocating darkness of death.


	17. Part II Memories

**Author's Note:** Another little piece of Jacob's colorful mind. I wish I could have more fun with it, but what is really fun about Bella in a coma? I'm **so** looking forward to writing happier stories. But I have to finish this one, otherwise I'll never forgive myself (and I don't want to read angry reviews or PMs). I'm predicting three more chapters, with a chance to see through Edward's lovely golden eyes again.

**Disclaimer:** Damn, I wish I owned Edward, but damn it, I don't own anything related to _Twilight_. I also don't own the song quoted throughout these chapters, or the genius band Death Cab for Cutie. Give the credit for all of this to Stephenie Meyer and DCFC.

Part II, Chapter 3: "Memories" Jacob's POV

"_Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye,__ it stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds."_

Memories.

The whole idea of _memories _was the biggest damn contradiction in the world.

Sometimes you wrongly think you remember something with perfect clarity. Take a movie, for example. You see a movie and there's a really funny scene, and you think you have the joke memorized. But then you buy the DVD and you find out the actor said it completely differently.

Or when you think of the girl you love, and a certain outfit she wore one night that just really bowled you over. You think you have every line of her fashionably-sheathed body memorized, but when she wears the shirt again, you realize it is a different color.

Whatever example you want to use--and there can be countless examples of this--doesn't matter. My whole point is that as time goes by, your memory falters, and your brain gets some things wrong.

And then people say that memories are a good thing. _You'll always have your memories. _Or, my personal favorite: _Just think of all the good memories of your loved one. You'll feel better._

Bullshit.

My only question is: _If memories are supposed to be such a good thing, why do they hurt so badly? Why are they faulty and corrupted and wrong? Why do they make me want to beat my own head in with a club?_

And at the same time…_why do they feel so good?_

I guess you could call me a masochist. As I sat staring at Bella's perfectly-still body, an oxygen tube stuck into her nostrils, with a feeding tube shoved down her throat, and her painfully slow heartbeats ticking the time away, I felt like dying. But it was a good death. Because her colorless lips were curled up in a smile, and I wondered if she was thinking of one of the many good times we had together. Occasionally her fingers twitched, reminding me of the way her fingers worked the motorcycles we had ridden, and _that_ made me think of her warm arms wrapped around my waist as I drove the motorcycle. I was able to run my fingers through her hair, which made me think of how she used to shake it out of her face and twirl it thoughtlessly around her finger. I had always thought those little mannerisms were adorable. So Bella.

But these memories were so flawed! Now that I thought about it, was she really happy with all of those good times we shared? Or was she only shallowly entertained, distracted from her loneliness and rejection by Edward? And surely she wasn't that skilled at working her fingers on the motorcycle. I mean, she crashed all the time. She was clumsy, but still fearless. And was she really thoughtless and content when she twirled her hair? Or was she thinking about happier times with a better man?

Faulty memories. Exactly what I was talking about earlier.

It's strange, but as I watched Edward orbit around her, they kind of seemed like satellites. No matter where he stood, her face seemed to be turned toward him. This was probably just my imagination, but it bothered me. Because as I watched him brush her hair and kiss her cheeks and softly whisper into her ear, I realized that he was the lucky one. He was the one with all the good memories. And he had a bloodsucker's flawless brain, so he remembered everything _perfectly_.

He remembered their hugs. Their laughs. Their sweet words they exchanged. Bella was feisty, but she was eloquent--that I remembered clearly. Their kisses--something that I had never experienced with Bella's delicious-looking lips. The nights they spent together--something I had most definitely never experienced…

Edward knew a side of Bella I had never known. The sweet side, the one who fell in dangerous love so easily. The side that was passionate and affectionate. I had seen her many times in recent months when she would subtly play with Edward's fingers, or kiss his cheek when she thought no one was looking. When her chocolate brown eyes would light up every time he entered the room, and when her voice would grow soft and adoring whenever she spoke of him. Edward was the only one in the world who embraced this side of her. The only one who _experienced_ this side of her. The only one who was ever allowed to return the favor.

It was so unfair.

I was the one with the broken memory, the brain that would eventually fog up. The one who was once good for Bella…the one who was good for Bella right then, because I had self-control. Edward could get a whiff of her blood (ugh, how disgusting) and drain her body of everything she had…all in an instant. I could calm myself before I phased.

I was _healthier _for her.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Edward clearing his throat. Fuck his mind-reading abilities! I couldn't get away with anything anymore.

"Sorry," I hissed for the millionth time.

"No, I'm sorry," he sighed. "It just…it hurts to hear the truth."

_The truth?!? You're agreeing with me, bloodsucker?_

"Yes," he frowned at his feet. "The truth. You're right. I'm no good for her. I'm the fucking reason she's in a coma."

"What?" I asked him incredulously.

He sighed. "Carlisle and I have been…studying her blood. She has a form of leukemia, but it's unlike anything we've ever seen before."

"I'm not following."

"The cancer cells…we never noticed it before, but we looked at the cells under a microscope, just for research purposes. They're…_corrupted_? _Abnormal_? Even for a cancer cell. A different shape, a different structure…"

"How is that related to you?" I asked dully, staring at Bella.

He sighed. "You're going to hate me for this."

"Nah, all of my hate is directed at myself right now."

He was silent as he heard my guilt about the whole damn thing. Finally, he murmured, "Bella was attacked by a vampire."

Well, _that_ got my attention. "_What?!?_"

"Her junior year in high school…do you remember when she fell down the stairs and through the window in Phoenix? I know you know about it, because you were at the prom and you saw her leg cast."

I gave a harsh chuckle. The prom. It wasn't really a fantastic memory. "Yeah."

"She didn't fall. She was hunted and lured by a sadistic vampire named James. He bit her. The venom was injected into her bloodstream."

Cold fear stabbed my heart. "_What?!? Are you serious?_"

He nodded slowly. "I sucked the venom out, mind you. The venom didn't spread at all. But…it seemed to have an effect on her blood…the effect just didn't kick in until a little over a year ago."

"How do you know that's why her cells are abnormal?"

He shrugged. "What else could it be? I don't think she was screwing around with her own blood."

My lips mashed together as I had my next thought. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. _Why are you blaming yourself for the vampire attack?_

He let out a ragged breath. "I exposed her to the vampire world. Completely by accident, of course, but I could have just left Forks the minute I first saw her. But anyways, the night the hunt began, she was with my family. We were playing a game of baseball." A sudden fond smile appeared on his face. "I think that was the night that my family fell in love with her."

"So how did that cause the attack?" I prodded, not wanting to even think about vampires loving Bella, even though they had been so good to her recently.

"Some vampire nomads caught our scent and was curious about us. James caught her scent…and he _had_ to have her. We tried to hide her so we could kill him, but he managed to trick her and attack her. She almost died. I had to suck the venom out." He sounded tormented, tortured.

"So that's why she was so banged up?" I asked him, staring at her unscarred and unmarked body. She would have been perfect if she could just have some life, some movement, some pinkness in her cheeks and lips.

"Yes. And now we think that his venom left a permanent affect on her bone marrow."

"So you're blaming yourself for her...condition." It wasn't a question.

He sighed deeply and nodded.

I gave one low laugh. "I never thought we would have so much in common."

"Except for the fact that we both love the most beautiful woman in the world."

"That's true," I allowed, feeling the need for a beer.

We were then interrupted by the tiniest of footsteps coming into the room, followed by more sturdy, concentrated footsteps. I already knew it would be Alice and Carlisle.

"Any change at all?" Carlisle murmured softly, examining her IV-laden hand.

"Not at all," Edward sighed. "If anything, her heart rate is decreasing."

Alice groaned. "I can't see _anything_."

I felt a little awkward as each of the three vampires turned and looked at me.

"What?" I asked, rubbing my neck. It was stiff from all of this couch-sleeping.

They said nothing. Two pairs of golden eyes stared at me, and Edward's charcoal eyes went to the floor.

"You might as well spit it out, vamps," I sighed, seriously annoyed. "I'm not sure I'm up for your deafening silence today."

"Jacob…" Alice said softly. "Please don't take offense to this, because I really do like you."

I frowned. "What? Sorry, shorty, but I'm past being offended by you bloodsuckers."

Carlisle's eyes were compassionate, but he quickly turned to prod on Bella some more.

Alice stared down at her designer shoes. "You're the reason I can't see anything."

"Huh?"

"Your…werewolf…self…blocks me out." Her voice was regretful and ashamed. I could tell she was seriously disturbed by the fact that her gift wasn't useful. It made me pity her…but I was kind of pissed off at the same time.

"What do you mean?" I demanded loudly. "I'm keeping you away from her?"

"In a sense, yes," she whispered. "I can't see into her future. I can't even see what outfit Jasper will choose to wear tomorrow, because we are all so wrapped up in…you."

"Why is that?" I asked.

Carlisle then cut in. "There are only two possibilities. It's either a natural defense against our vampiric abilities, because technically you are our natural enemies. Or it's because your…phasing…is so unpredictable. Do you even exist when you are between your human form and your wolf form?"

I frowned, my eyebrows crinkling together--a mannerism I had picked up from Bella. "I guess that's debatable…ugh, Doc, I can't even discuss my physiology right now. What are you suggesting I do, Alice?"

Alice pursed her lips and shrugged, flickering a glance to Edward.

Edward sighed heavily and stood up. "Jacob, I'm not going to ask you to leave just yet. So far her heart rate isn't completely lost, and with more nutrients we might can pick it back up. But if no change can happen…then I'm going to need you to leave the hospital for a while and focus on something else."

I glared at him. "Should I be offended?"

His black eyes actually softened. "Never, Jacob. This isn't about you…your company has actually been quite therapeutic for me. But this is about Bella. Surely you could leave the hospital if it could save her…"

I nodded. "Of course. I'll leave now."

I stood up and started to leave, but a movement from the hospital bed caught my eye. Bella quietly stirred, her fingertips moving, and her head barely moved. We all stared in wondrous shock, praying for an awakening.

And then she was perfectly still again.

After five minutes, Carlisle sighed. "Nothing," he murmured.

Painstakingly disappointed, I unthinkingly sat back on my perch and blacked out.

But I could still see and feel everything around me, so I somehow knew it was only my mind that was unconscious. I wasn't blissfully passed out, oblivious to the world around me. I wasn't that lucky.

So my dead mind eventually reignited, and led me down a path of memories that were too bittersweet for words.


	18. Part II Truth

**Author's Note:** This story is finally dwindling down! I'm seriously going to say three more chapters. Hopefully nothing more. I'm ready to get started on my next stories.

Out of curiosity, which story would you be most interested in reading? A rated M all-human tale of college experimentation between shy Bella and the sexy Cullens and Hales? Or a more mature, rated M, all human tale of registered nurse Bella cheating on her boyfriend Jacob with her high school sweetheart Edward? Let me know in reviews.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_ (though I'm about to pre-order a DVD of _New Moon_!)

Part II, Chapter Four: "Truth" Edward's POV

"_But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all. And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground as the TV entertained itself."_

I stared at the heart rate monitor, feeling as if something was cutting off all my oxygen…and I _needed_ that oxygen. Bella's levels were decreasing, and Carlisle had already proposed putting her on life support. Alice, of course, couldn't see anything because of the dog that constantly sat in her room. But we had already told Jacob he might have to leave.

At a loss for things to do, I picked up the journal and started to write.

_My beautiful Bella,_

_Three weeks have passed since my first letter. You're still asleep, and I'm still waiting. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Charlie, Jacob, and Billy Black are all waiting, too. If there is one thing I know for sure, it is this: that you are so very loved, one of the most beloved girls in the entire world. You're not only loved by your enchanted fiancé, but you're loved by your immediate family, your future in-laws, and your best friend's family. That's a lot of love, sweetheart._

_I must apologize. I have spent three weeks rambling on and on about how beautiful you are and how much I love and need you. Not that that's a bad thing--quite the opposite! You are very aware of my love for you just by how many times in one day I tell you I love you. (You'll never be able to measure the expanses of it, though, even if you have an immortal mind like mine.) Anyways, I have only focused on me in my letters._

_I don't allow anyone else to write in this journal for fear of them reading my words that are only meant for you. But I feel as if I should tell you about your best friend Jacob Black._

_Jacob has impressed me like never before. He rarely leaves your side and he is interested in every facet of your treatment. His thoughts drive me crazy because he's so much in love with you, but how can I condemn someone from loving the most perfect woman in the world--even if she is mine? But he has done more than dote upon you. He offered his bone marrow to you._

_Bella, sweetheart, I'm telling you this because I don't want you to wake up confused. I'm not sure how much you'll remember, because memory loss is common in comatose patients._

_You discovered something very…important…about Jacob almost three months ago. We were desperately searching for a bone marrow match. We didn't want to use Charlie's because he's having heart problems of his own. Jacob offered to let us use his. We took a sample and tried to match his blood type to yours…but the truth about Jacob came out._

_My love, my family already knew this about Jacob. We wanted to hide it from you. But your intuition--the same intuition that told you I was a vampire--demanded to know Jacob's blood type. It was the same as yours. You wanted to know why we couldn't use his blood. We tried to come up with a cover story, but you wouldn't believe us._

_Finally, to quote Jacob, he said "To hell with it. Bells, I'm not entirely human."_

_Your breathtaking brown eyes widened, but you nodded as if you had suspected this for a while. "You're not a vampire," you stated. "Your skin is too hot for that. Actually, your skin is too hot for a human."_

_He nodded at you. "I…sometimes…turn into a wolf."_

_And you started to laugh._

_Which, of course, made Emmett laugh._

_After the two of you settled down, you looked at Jacob and asked him, "Jake, are you like a werewolf?"_

_He nodded. "Yeah…that's what we call ourselves."_

"_And Sam Uley and that whole gang…they're werewolves, too?"_

_He nodded again. "Yup. That's why I dumped you for him. Young werewolves aren't exactly stable."_

_You turned to me. "Like newborn vampires?"_

_I nodded. "Exactly, my love."_

_You bit your lip adorably, and then you shrugged. "Okay," you said. "So I have another mythical creature to add to the mix. Let me guess, Jacob, your girlfriend is a goblin? Or does she turn into a cat?"_

_Jacob actually laughed. "Nah. Sarah's just as normal as you are."_

_You met Sarah, and you told me you liked her a lot. I still think she kind of looks like you, and I brought this up. You shrugged and said, "Maybe Jake has a type. You have a type, right?"_

_I laughed and kissed you. "Yes. I prefer brunette danger magnets who are extraordinarily tempting and irresistible."_

_And then I closed the door and we made love in the hospital bed. Carlisle had ordered you a rather large bed so I could lay in bed with you, and we took advantage of that. My conscience felt guilty, but my body made sure to take extra care in touching you and loving you. Besides, how much time with you did I have left?_

_And the attempt was successful. You weren't harmed at all._

_And now your body doesn't even react to my touches. Your cheeks don't flush pink under my fingertips, and your breathing doesn't grow harsh as I softly stroke your back. Your lips don't curve into a smile when I kiss them, which especially makes me sad, because I love the way you used to smile underneath my kiss. It made me smile, too._

_Bella, darling, I know that this is about to sound astonishingly morbid. But lately I've been sitting next to you, wondering what I'll do if you never wake up…and if Charlie decides to take you off life support. I know for sure that I'll cease to exist--I've already made my decision that I'll follow you into the dark…even if it means to Hell or Purgatory…just to be with you for eternity would be the most incredible sense of Heaven ever felt by a man…_

_But I will exist for some time after you die, because I can't kill myself the minute you die. How will I feel? Will I wish that I never knew you, so I wouldn't be feeling the pain? Of course not! Bella, I would trade my soul only to see you smile at me, or see that flash of intuition in your eye, even if it was only once. If I never even knew your name, I would still love you, Bella, because I think I've always known deep down in my heart what kind of girl I could so easily fall for._

_The type of girl who is so naturally beautiful and brave, who loses herself in books and knowledge and not the superficialities of the world. The kind of girl who makes me smile just by smiling. The kind of girl who allows me to catch her when she trips, or trusts me enough to let me dance with her. The kind of girl who loves me so completely. If there is one thing I am sure of, it is that your whole heart belongs to me. As mine belongs to you._

_If I do lose you, my love, I won't regret a moment between us. I'll only regret the century of moments we didn't have together. I'll cherish and remember so perfectly every touch, every kiss, every soft whisper, every note of every song I have sung to you, every one of your quirks and habits, every detail of your face and body…every memory._

_Because when someone has lain beside the most perfect of sheer perfection…he doesn't regret a thing._

_I love you, sweetheart. I need you to come back to me._

_All my love,_

_Edward_

I closed my journal and put it, along with my pen, down on the table. I was laying next to Bella in the enormous bed, watching her chest slowly rise and fall. Any other time, it would have been alluring, but now it worried me. _Should breathing really take that much effort?_

I heard the quiet whisper of footsteps enter the room, and I looked up to see Alice, Esme, and Carlisle. My father was running a hand through his blond hair, going over a clipboard. Alice and Esme were eyeing me suspiciously.

"What?" I asked dully.

Esme came and sat on the foot of the bed, placing a loving hand on my leg. "Darling, we need to talk."

"Okay" was my flat response.

My parents turned to Alice, who pursed her lips. I didn't even bother reading their minds; it all sounded like a bunch of gibberish anyway. Finally, Alice spoke up.

"Okay, so since Jacob is not in the hospital right now, my vision has gotten a little clearer."

I simply stared at Bella's lovely face, my fingertips tracing her cheekbone. "Okay. What was your vision?"

"Edward," my favorite sister said quietly. "I just had a vision of you writing in your journal that an eternity with Bella would be like Heaven."

_Oh, great. This again._

I sighed. "Alice…please don't start all of that change-Bella-into-a-vampire nonsense."

Carlisle then cut in. "Edward, it's quite possible that venom could bring her out of this coma."

I looked in shock at Alice. "Uh…can you see this happening?"

She sighed. "I can see as far as Carlisle biting her. I can't see past that. I think it's because Jacob has decided to stay in her future."

"So…if we run the dog off…you could see?" I verified.

She nodded. "I believe so."

I knew it wasn't that simple, though. "But if he secretly decides to stay in her future, it's going to be uncertain, right?"

Alice nodded. "Yup."

I sighed. "Time to run the dog off. Carlisle, is this really worth the effort?"

He nodded. "If nothing else we can find out what will happen."

I stared down at the bed. "I really don't want to damn Bella to immortality."

Surprising me, it was Esme who replied to that one. She stood up, walked to me, and firmly took my chin in her hand, turning my eyes to hers. Just like a mother. "Edward Cullen, listen to me. I know that as soon as Bella dies, you'll go to Italy and do something outrageous to die. I will _not_ lose my first son because his stubbornness and lack of faith prevents him from being happy. My happiness relies on your happiness, and if you die, I'm not sure what I will do. Do you understand me?"

I had never seen her golden eyes this hard and serious. She had never used that tone with me. It was always Emmett or Rosalie. Surprised by her sudden ferocity, I could only nod with wide eyes. "Yes, ma'am."


	19. Part II Pace

Author's Note**: I realize that Alice's visions have been a little fuzzy in the past two chapters, so I thought I would throw in her POV to clear things up. Enjoy!**

**Please review!!!**

Part II, Chapter Five: "Pace" Alice's POV

"'_Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room, just nervous pacers bracing for bad news."_

Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Stop at the wall, turn around.

Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

"Alice," Jasper whispered. "Am I allowed to force you to settle down and quit pacing?"

I glared at him and bent to put my mouth at his ear. "No, Jasper," I whispered. "I need to feel everything so I can't be blinded at all in case a vision comes. If you make me happy, I'll be distracted."

"Your pacing is distracting me from enjoying looking at you," he replied a little bitterly.

I sighed. I didn't like it when Jasper was short with me. It happened very rarely, so I knew I must have been really bugging him. But I couldn't really blame him. We were in a waiting room, surrounded by fifteen depressed strangers and Charlie, Emmett, and Esme, who were even more depressed. A huge force of blueness was pressing down on his heart and mind.

"I'm sorry, Jazz," I whispered, sitting in his lap and kissing his cheek. His stone arms wrapped around me, and I laid my head against his neck, closing my eyes.

So much had happened in the past twenty-four hours. Until then, I had been blind, unable to see around the invisible Jacob. I couldn't see the decline of her heart rate…even though it happened…and I couldn't see the fact that she would need to be put on oxygen…even though it happened.

And finally, when Jacob left that black hole of a room, I could see just a glimpse into Bella's future. Bella staying asleep forever…until Charlie decided to pull the plug…which I guessed would be about a year later. That poor man didn't give up on his beloved daughter, but his money would run dry.

So I examined another course. A course that I had promised Bella would happen, because I had _seen_ it happening months ago. Bella taking an immortal path, and living with us forever. Never dying. As I strained myself trying to visualize that path, I could only see one thing: Bella in our Seattle mansion, unconscious, with Carlisle biting her.

I couldn't see past that.

So I knew there was only one option: time to put the dog out.

Okay, so maybe that was harsh. Oddly enough, Jacob had sort of become…friends with my family. We had spent the past weeks together, and Jasper could feel all his pain, and Esme could manage to comfort him…

And he and I…well, we could sort of hang out together and be comfortable with each other.

Okay, fine! I _liked _Jacob.

So how could I do this painlessly?

Emmett suggested knocking Jacob unconscious and locking him up in our home in Forks. I'm ashamed to admit that I actually considered this, but my vision would still be blocked because I would have to wonder when he would wake up and what he would do to the house and such.

So Jasper suggested simply running him off with our words and Jasper's emotional control. This pained me, Esme, and Carlisle. We really didn't want to hurt Jacob after everything he had done for Bella.

But family comes first.

I told Jacob to go out to eat so I could have a moment of clarity. He gladly obliged.

And so I sat in Jasper's lap, humming softly, eyes closed, trying to focus.

And finally, something came!

_Sarah sits in the waiting room of the hospital, crying. "He doesn't love me," she sobs. "I didn't mean to make him leave."_

"Aha!" I shouted. "I have it!"

Five strangers glared at me, and Esme shushed me. Lowering my voice, I shook my head and said, "No! I know how to get rid of Jacob!"

"What is it, Allie?" Jasper asked.

"Sarah. I don't know why I haven't thought of this. Sarah has to make him leave. If he _loses_ us _and _Sarah, he's done." "He'll be alright, won't he?" Esme asked.

I nodded, even though I had no clue. "We can always get Bella to call him."

"Will she wake up if Carlisle bites her?" Esme whispered so softly only the supernatural ears could hear her.

I shrugged. "I don't know. But we can find out if Jacob leaves." I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and scrolled to find Jacob's number. I quickly sent him a text: _If you're eating with Sarah, bring her up to the waiting room. Esme wants to see her._

A minute later, I received a reply: _Ten-four, partner._

_Partner. _I suddenly felt very guilty.

But this was all for Bella, right?


	20. Part II Sarah

**Author's Note:** This was a painful chapter to write because there are so many people dealing with so many different types of pain. But this story is about to be over with! Hopefully "What Sarah Said" will be completed by Saturday. I'm ready for it to be finished so I can write happier things! Ha!

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer:** The lovely Stephenie Meyer owns all of these characters. I hope she won't hate me for what I've done with them.**  
**

Part Two, Chapter Six: "Sarah" Jacob's POV

"_And then the nurse comes in and everyone will lift their heads, but I'm thinking of what Sarah said: that 'Love is watching someone die, so who's gonna watch you die?'"_

Alice's text message confused me a bit, but I decided that I shouldn't be suspicious. Esme was probably only concerned about Sarah. Esme…wow. Even though she was a reeking bloodsucker, she was quite a lady. Her kindness, politeness, empathy, and compassion reminded me so much of my mom.

Sarah and I shared another lunch together, and our conversation was just as wooden and counterproductive. She was quiet and sad; I was cold and distant. The usual, I guess. It kind of sucked that we were now like this. I missed the way we were. But of course, I missed Bella a lot more.

After our lunch, we walked up to the ICU, and I saw Esme, Emmett, and Jasper in the waiting room. Sarah and I stopped to speak to Esme, but all of a sudden I felt Jasper's disgusting golden eyes on me. And then even more suddenly, I felt curiosity and a sort of morbid pull to Bella's room. I couldn't fight the feeling. It felt as if my legs were programmed to walk to that room…

As I entered the quiet room, I wondered if Jasper was forcing me to go to this room with his strange power Bella had told me about. And then fear overtook me. _Oh, God, why would he want me here? What has happened?_

I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw that Bella was still alive--yet comatose--on her bed. Edward sat in the corner, watching me as I went and squeezed Bella's hand.

"Jacob," he whispered.

I turned to him. His black eyes were almost crazed. "Yeah?"

"You need to leave."

I was afraid of this. I nodded. "Okay. May I ask the specifics? Just so I can know what's going on."

He bit his lip, and I randomly wondered if he could bite through his own skin. "We…uh…" he stuttered. "We found an…alternate treatment."

For some reason, red flags went up. "Wait…what?"

His black eyes hardened; his pale face was far too locked. "We found an alternate treatment, but we need you to leave so Alice can see if it's going to work."

"And what treatment is that?" I asked flatly.

He looked away from me. "Just…some medications."

"Medications for a coma?" I had never heard of such. Especially since my mother had been in a coma after her car accident, a coma that eventually slipped into death.

He cleared his throat. "Medications for the cancer cells."

"That won't bring her out of a coma, though," I stated.

He shrugged, still looking away from me. "Every little bit helps."

_Something isn't right here. What is it?_

"Will she be treated here in Seattle?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No."

"Where, then?"

"Los Angeles," he said automatically.

"How can you be in Los Angeles? With the sun and everything."

His calm expression cracked a fraction. "We have our ways."

"I don't really believe you," I replied.

His eyebrows furrowed and he threw his white hands up. "What could I possibly be lying about, Jacob?"

I stared him down, increasing the tension. "What if she doesn't survive? Are you going to let her die?"

My question didn't make much sense to a human, but he understood my question. I knew this as he broke my stare and looked down at his feet.

I was appalled. "You're turning her into a vampire," I said blankly. It wasn't a question.

He said nothing.

"Does Bella want this?" I snapped, my voice decibels higher.

He nodded. "She's always asked me for it. Even before I left her."

"Do _you_ want this?" I screeched. "You want to turn her into a filthy bloodsucker? A murderer?"

"Jacob, please calm down," he hissed. "People can hear you and you don't want to blow our cover."

"To hell with your cover!"

"You know we aren't murderers, Jacob! At least, not anymore! We've all turned away from that lifestyle. And we _will not_ allow Bella to kill people. Haven't you at least seen our moral character in Carlisle? Esme? Can't you just tell by my parents that we _value _human life? That we love humans? That we respect them?"

_Ouch. He knows I can't argue about Carlisle and Esme. They're too good for their own goods. _"Edward, how can you do this to her?"

He stood up, glaring at me. "I don't want to! I wish she would have a human life and die and go to the afterlife, if such a thing exists. But I've discovered that I _can't live without her._ Jacob, what about you? Can you really live without her?"

The venom in my words was tangible. "I'd much rather have a dead Bella than an undead Bella. I'd much rather see her corpse lying in a casket than walking around and drinking blood. _It goes against nature._"

"What can you say about going against nature?"

My fists balled up. "I'm not getting into a prejudiced vampire versus werewolf debate. You're telling me that Bella has chosen this future for herself?"

He nodded. "Ever since she was a junior in high school, she has wanted to be a vampire."

I turned to look at her. She was _so_ human. _How can a human want that?_ I looked over at the table of pictures that Alice had set up. The pictures I had seen them posing for; the pictures that resulted in mine and Bella's reunion. She was beautiful, of course, and she appeared to be so sure. So in love. The thought burned my brain like acid. I saw the picture that showed a close-up of their intertwined hands, displaying her fancy engagement ring. She had chosen this life when she agreed to spend her life with him? Without telling her best friend?

"Did you plan on changing her when you proposed?" I asked him.

He automatically shook his head. "I didn't plan on changing her until today. I had always ignored her pleas."

I shook my head. "That doesn't matter. I didn't choose to be a werewolf. She's choosing to be a vampire. _That's_ unnatural. It's wrong. It's amoral."

"That's the girl you love," he whispered. "That's what you're calling her."

I tore my eyes back to the sleeping Bella. _God, I __**do**__ love her. _But I still shook my head. "I'd rather see her dead."

"That's the difference between you and me," he snapped. "This doesn't even concern you. She's _mine_. She will forever be _mine_, long after you're dead and gone and forgotten."

I actually flinched. I knew that this was the truth, and I suddenly felt like I was suffocating. "Fine," I replied. "I'm finished here. You can have your dead. I don't care if she does walk around. She's dead to me. I'm gone."

But my words were negated by my actions. I took one glance at Bella, and I melted. _Is this the last time I'll ever see her?_ I had pined for her for so long. I loved her insanely.

Silently, maybe to piss Edward off, but definitely to say goodbye to my hopes and dreams, I bent and kissed her pink lips. I kissed her forehead and her cheeks, and then her lips one more time.

I was not prepared for the small gasp from the door.

My heart breaking into hundredths, I turned to see the other girl in my life. Her wide blue eyes were filled with tears that slowly cascaded down her cheeks.

"Sarah," I said, but she turned and ran.

I ran after her. She pressed the button for the elevator, but saw that it was going to be too slow. As she turned for the stairs, I caught her.

"What do you want?" she spat at me.

"I'm sorry," I heaved. "You shouldn't have seen that."

"What?" she sobbed. "I shouldn't have seen my boyfriend, the man I've wanted to marry, kiss a comatose girl who happens to be engaged to another man? You're right, Jacob, I shouldn't have seen that."

"I was just saying goodbye," I cried.

Her eyes widened. "Are they pulling the plug?"

I shook my head. "Not quite."

She glared at me. "And you aren't going to give me any answers about that, are you?"

My eyes sank down to my feet.

"I thought so," she said, turning to go down the staircase. "You never have wanted to give me any answers about her. I've had to force them out of you."

I grabbed her jacket, making her turn around to face me. "Sarah…please don't leave me alone."

"Jacob!" she snapped at me. "You've left me alone for three months! You don't even love me! I'm not the one you love."

I simply stared at her in surprise.

"Can I ask a question?" she asked in a tone that told me that my permission wouldn't matter.

"Sure," I said blankly.

She sniffled and wiped the mascara from her cheeks. "If that was me in that room--in a coma, my time ticking away--would you be by my bed for three months?"

"Sarah, I--"

She reached up to put a finger over my lips. "Say yes or no. Tell me whether or not you would be that dedicated to me."

I was silent.

She nodded, unsurprised. "That's what I thought. Jacob, you've been helping her as she slides out of this life. You do that to people you love. Hell, I could get really morbid and say that love _is _watching someone die, because you want to be there for that person's whole life. Would you want to spend my whole life with me?"

I still couldn't speak.

She nodded. "I'm not the one who is going to watch you die, Jake. Especially over this girl who has always been off-limits to you." Roughly, she yanked her jacket out of my hand and turned around. When she got to the bottom of that set of stairs, she turned back. "Jacob, for your benefit, I really hope she ends up okay. I want her to live because I believe she's a really sweet girl with a sweet family. Obviously she's a good person, because you love her. And as much as I admire and respect the Cullens, I hope that maybe you two can be together one day. But I'm not going to give you my heart and love when you're busy hanging on to her and imagining her when you kiss me and make love to me and tell me you love me. I'm a woman; I can sense these things. You have always seen her when you look at me." She pursed her lips and shook her head. "I'm not going to watch you die," she said again. "Maybe she can. I hope so. I hope you do find that someone to be there with you until the end of your life. But I'm not the one to do it. You won't watch me die."

And then she ran down the stairs, and out of my life.

Seconds later, I yelled in frustration and ran down the stairs and out of the hospital. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I found the forest soon enough, and I phased.

I ran as fast as I could to try to get away from the voices in my head. I couldn't handle other humans or even wolves right now. It would kill me.

I wasn't wanted by Bella, by the Cullens, or even by my girlfriend. I was rejected. I was told to stay out.

I was finished with love. If the girl I loved wanted to abandon her own species and turn into my most-hated enemy…fine. If that was love, I wanted none of it.

After all, maybe what Sarah said was true. Love was watching someone die.

I just didn't know I would be the person dying.


	21. Part III Bite

**Author's Note:** And so begins Part III. I originally planned on only having two parts, but I felt that this deserved its own part. I hope you enjoy it. This was a fun chapter to plan and write.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Twilight_!

Part III, Chapter One: "Bite" Edward's POV

We had done it.

As soon as Jacob left and was gone for good, Alice could see everything. The venom would be successful in waking her up and converting her into an immortal. That was our only choice. Nothing else would work. Time would not treat us kindly; she was never going to wake up by herself.

So our problem changed from Jacob to Charlie.

Obviously we had to get her out of the hospital, out of Washington. Jasper went on the Internet and found a cancer center in Alaska for Carlisle to wave at Charlie. Jazz even went to a phone company in Alaska and created a new line so Charlie could have a phone number for "Bella's room" in the "center". It would actually just go to our house in Alaska, but Charlie of course didn't know that.

And then transportation was a problem. Obviously in normal circumstances, Bella would be transported to the center by helicopter. But since we weren't actually going to the center, we had to find a creative solution to get Bella to our secluded house in Alaska.

"That's easy," Emmett had shrugged. "I'll just buy a helicopter."

And so he did. I don't know how he found one so fast, but Rosalie landed it with amazing skill on top of the hospital. Since we could hear Bella's heartbeats without a monitor, we stole an oxygen tank and a portable bed and loaded her up on it.

A clan of vampires kidnapping a human from a hospital on a helicopter. It sounded like a bad comic book.

But it worked. I didn't even know Rosalie had a pilot's license. I was even more surprised that she would help us.

Anyway, we landed at a private airport in Alaska and put her into a stolen ambulance and drove her to our house. Esme had already furnished a room for Bella with a huge hospital bed and equipment that Carlisle had managed to get his hands on. So I simply carried her into our new home, and the process began.

I ran tests on her--oxygen levels, blood count, all the usual things. Everything was the same. Alice gave us our answers, that Bella would be fine, while she hung our engagement pictures in the room. She was way too excited about having her almost-sister back and planning the wedding.

Finally, my other family members seemed to sense that it was time to give us some privacy. Esme kissed my forehead, Carlisle's lips, and Bella's forehead before leaving. I was alone with my father and my comatose fiancée.

"Son, are you okay?" Carlisle asked me.

I nodded. "Yes. Just worried."

He smiled kindly. "I'm very practiced."

"I know. I trust you."

I watched nervously as he gently tipped her chin up, exposing her lovely neck. He looked back at me. "Do you want to do this?"

I shook my head. "No."

"The blood wouldn't tempt you. She reeks of cancer cells."

"I know. I still don't want to take a chance."

He nodded and turned back to Bella. I watched as his butterscotch eyes closed, and he started murmuring to himself. Praying.

It felt like a sacred moment, so I didn't interrupt. Finally, he uttered an "Amen" and turned back to her.

My breath grew ragged as I watched him. His fingers traced her ivory neck, feeling her pulse first, and then went along the veins. After what seemed like hours, he stopped at her jugular.

"You're sure, son?"

I stared at him questioningly. "Yes…?"

"It's a very intimate bond," he murmured. "It's what Bella would have wanted."

I swallowed hard.

"I'm very glad I was the one to turn Esme," he mused. "It makes me feel like I provided for her, in a sense."

"It's what Bella would have wanted?" I verified.

He nodded solemnly. "Yes. I have discussed this with her before."

I stared at my beautiful fiancée, so serene and quiet. _Will she know it's me when the pain sets in?_

I didn't want to disappoint her.

Slowly, I walked to her bedside. "Carlisle, you will intervene if I do something wrong."

"Of course," he replied.

I nodded and bent to her warm flesh, her blood flowing under her skin as my nose skimmed her neck. The smell was unappealing enough that I felt comfortable. I softly kissed her neck, and then her lips, and then her neck again. Carlisle was gracious, and maybe romantic enough that he didn't say anything. He let me have my moment with the girl I loved.

Finally, I squeezed my father's hand, and went back to her neck. I bared my teeth, and sank them into her skin, and then into her jugular vein. It was like biting through butter. My teeth slipped through her easily and threateningly.

"Edward, careful," Carlisle warned as blood flowed onto my lips. But I wasn't bothered. This blood did not taste like my Bella. I was safe. _She_ was safe.

I removed my mouth from her, and looked back at him.

"Very good," he murmured. "I think you should inject a lot more venom, though. This venom is going to have to repair a lot--it's going to have to make her conscious again."

"Right," I nodded.

"Just bite her at the points with good blood flow--wrists, ankles, the neck, you know the parts I mean."

I nodded and nipped at her neck again. It was kind of sexy, being able to finally neck with her. And the biting sort of fulfilled my animalistic nature. But I was happy to just be saving her. In my immortal life, I had never felt so…vulnerable. I felt like I could break from the happiness, but at the same time, I felt like I could break if this attempt was unsuccessful. I was perfectly certain that _that_ would be the worst pain I could feel.

After I had covered her neck, I moved on to other territory--her wrists, stopping to kiss her hands with my blood-smeared lips; the crooks of her elbows, her ankles, and the backs of her knees.

"Well done, son," Carlisle whispered. "I can hear and smell the venom flowing."

"I can, too," I said before biting up and down her arms.

"I think that's enough," he said.

I pulled away, and wiped the blood on my sweater sleeve. Alice was going to kill me over that one, but I didn't care.

"What now?" I asked him quietly.

"We wait."

And so the waiting began. Hour by hour, the minutes seemed to grow longer. The only response we were getting from Bella was the sound of her heart as it pumped the venom through her veins. I could smell my venom racing through her and saturating new parts of her body. Carlisle sat with me, and I noticed he was praying again, praying through the whole thing.

At one point, I did ask him, "Did you pray when you changed me?"

He nodded. "Yes. I was praying I wouldn't be damned for that."

"Things worked out pretty nicely, though. You found Esme."

My mother, who had been sitting with us, smiled and rubbed Carlisle's knee. He kissed her temple before turning back to me. "Yes. And as a result, you found Bella."

I couldn't help but smile at that one. It was so true. Somehow, this had turned out so perfectly.

I just hoped things would continue to turn out perfectly.

Seventy-one hours after the last bite, Carlisle took my hand, jarring me out of my trance. "Edward…do you hear that?"

I strained my ears. Yes, of course I heard it. Her heart picking up speed.

"It's happening," he breathed.

Alice danced into the room. "Things are going to turn out perfectly."

Emmett and Jasper followed her. "Damn, she's gorgeous," Emmett remarked.

I nudged his ribs. "You're just now noticing that?"

He shrugged. "Sorry, bro, but you know the humans don't do it for me. But if I were a single man…well, you might have the new and improved vampire Bella off your hands."

"Not a chance," I growled.

I stared at my extraordinarily beautiful love as she laid silently on the bed, her eyes still closed. I was growing panicky, knowing that this was the part where fate would decide if her heart could carry her into the next life, or into an immortal life here on Earth. Alice kept playing out her vision in my head to remind me of the very certain future. Bella, walking and talking. Bella, her hard lips and deadly teeth kissing my mouth.

I was a little comforted by my dear sister, but I was still sort of losing it.

Jasper sensed this, and I felt a strange, dull peace flowing through the air. Relieved, I now focused on Bella's beauty. Her shoulder-length hair looked glossy and full. Her skin was perfectly white, without even a hint of a blemish. All of her already-beautiful features were heightened. She even looked curvier and healthier.

My fingers brushed her hair as her heart kept beating faster and faster, trying to comfort her if she was freaking out.

"Dear God," I could hear Carlisle whisper. "Please wake her up, like you've already told Alice you would…"

I found myself praying the same prayer over and over.

Twenty-thousand years later…

Bella opened her eyes.

And as I stared into her bright-red irises, I realized it had only been minutes.

Minutes of the rest of eternity that now belonged to _us_.


	22. Part III Hallucinations

**Disclaimer**: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I'm just grateful she lets us play with them.

Part III, Chapter Two: "Hallucinations" Edward's POV

She gazed at the ceiling above her, her ruby eyes wide. I could see her lips moving as she appraised the ceiling, and I was mystified. She was…counting the grains in the wood? I tried my hardest to strain my ears to hear her thoughts, but she was silent as ever. So once again, I had no idea what was going on in that pretty little head of hers.

I glanced at Carlisle, but he was just as puzzled as I was.

My eyes went back to my supernaturally beautiful fiancée. She had sat up, and her eyes were closed. She was inhaling deeply. A smile was on her face; she was obviously enjoying the scents. When she opened her eyes, they weren't hungry and crazed, which confused me even more. _Shouldn't she be writhing in thirsty pain?_

And then her eyes fixed on me.

Her brown eyebrows pushed together, and she nervously bit her lip. Her eyes were searching me, going over my face and my body. I cautiously stepped toward her, my hands up in surrender. "Bella, love?" I asked. "Are you alright?"

Her entire face collapsed, and she let out a tearless sob. "I _knew_ it!" she cried, falling on her back again. "I _am_ dreaming!"

_Hold it, Edward,_ Jasper's thoughts told me. He was tasting her moods, feeling exactly what she was feeling. And I could tell by his thoughts that she was mourning.

Her body shook with violent waves as she moaned. "Oh, God, Bella, you've really done it now!" she shouted. "Imagining that you're a fucking vampire? How are you going to ever wake up out of this perfect hallucination?"

Esme and Rosalie gasped, and they both turned to Carlisle, who was still frozen in shock. Alice was jumping up and down, having a fit, tugging on her short black hair. Her thoughts were a big jumble: _What the hell is she…ah, she better not rip that dress while she's tossing and turning like that…why didn't I see this…what the hell, Bella?!?_

I tuned my sister out and looked back over to Bella. She had the pillow over her face, moaning like the drama queen she definitely wasn't. She was in _pain._

"Bella," I said quietly, knowing she could hear me. "Sweetheart, you aren't hallucinating. You're really here. We're really here."

"_No you're not!_" was her response.

"Yes, we are!" I looked over to Jasper, my eyes begging for help. But he had crumpled to the floor, overtaken by the outrageously terrifying emotions floating around in this room.

Bella started to ramble. "I've gone absolutely crazy. I've been hallucinating for what feels like months now. I just didn't know that my hallucinations would go this far…God, even my throat burns! And my heart is just breaking…why the fuck would I imagine I'm wearing a dress?"

Emmett, the unrelenting optimist, snickered at her scattered brain.

"Jasper," I hissed, pulling my brother up. "Help me out!"

"Sorry," he choked, before lightening Bella's emotional weight. Slowly, she started to calm down, and then she lay still on the bed.

"Thank you," I whispered to him before walking to her. My hands lightly took her hands. "Bella, my love," I told her. "Sweetheart, listen to me."

She gazed in wonder at my face, drinking me in. "At least my hallucinations are focused on his beauty," she sighed.

"You're not hallucinating," I told her, although I was sort of flattered. "Bella, sweetheart, I _did_ turn you into a vampire. You're really here, I'm really here, my whole family is really here."

She laughed. "You have a twisted sense of humor, God," she said to the ceiling. "Seriously, what have I ever done to deserve this kind of Hell?"

Carlisle's thoughts told me he was really beginning to wonder if she was losing it.

"My love, I'm here," I told her, touching her face.

"Your hands aren't cold," she replied, as if this was proof that this was all a hallucination.

"Because you're immortal, just like me," I reminded her.

She pursed her lips. "I still don't believe you. You left me six years ago. Why would you suddenly come and change me?" Her words weren't enthusiastic, but rather flat and dull.

"I came back a little over a year ago," I told her, casting Jasper a grateful glance that she could at least speak calmly, no matter how lifelessly.

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did, sweetheart," I told her, grasping her left hand. "Look, you're wearing my mother's engagement ring."

Her eyes grew huge as she stared at the ring. "We're…engaged?"

"Yes," I laughed lightly. "Alice is planning the wedding!"

She shook her head again, snatching her hand from me and crossing her arms over her chest. "Nope. I would never accept a proposal of _marriage_." She spat the word out as if it were something nasty. "I'm definitely hallucinating. Why the hell am I laying here arguing with someone who isn't even there?"

"Ahh!" Alice screamed. "I've had enough! I'll be right back." She dashed out of the room.

Bella sat up and stared out the doorway. "Was that Alice?"

"Yes, my love," I said patiently. "And there is Carlisle, and Esme, and Jasper, and Emmett, and Rosalie."

She stared at my family. Esme put a hand over her heart, shivering. "Bella, darling," she said. "We're really here. I'm about to be your mother-in-law."

Bella's eyes softened, but she said nothing.

Alice suddenly ran back into the room, gripping a few objects to her chest. "Bella!" she exclaimed. "Bella, it's really Alice! Your best friend and future sister! Do you not believe me?"

Bella just stared blankly at her.

"Fine," Alice huffed. She dropped the objects on the bed and held one up. It was a large framed print of one of the pictures Paolo had taken at our engagement party. It showed me, my arms around both Bella and Alice. "Do you remember this?" Alice demanded.

Bella bit her lip. "Uh…no…"

Alice exhaled impatiently and tossed it down. She held up one of our engagement portraits we had taken later. It showed Bella riding me piggyback, kissing my cheek. "Do you remember _this_?"

She slowly shook her head. "I don't think so…"

Alice groaned and picked another up…this time, one with Bella leaning against a tree and me looking at her from behind the trunk. "This?"

Bella shook her head again. "No! See, you have no proof!"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Bella! I am seeing you coming to your senses, but I don't know how to get you there! Help me out!" She held up another picture of our interlaced hands, her engagement ring on display.

"No!" Bella sighed. "I don't remember any of this! I told you! _I am hallucinating!_"

_How is she so calm?_ Emmett mentally asked me.

"Jasper is keeping her from freaking out," I whispered.

He nodded and wrapped Esme, who was starting to panic, in his arms.

"What about this?" Alice asked, holding up the last picture. It was a close-up of the two of us kissing.

Bella paused and stared at the picture. Alice looked at me hopefully.

"I…I don't know…" Bella sighed. "I've been seeing _that_ a lot in my hallucinations…but I can't believe that it's real. He left me." Her ruby eyes turned to me apologetically, and I felt a little depressed as I realized I would never see the brown again.

"You don't remember this," Esme verified quietly.

Bella shrugged. "I…I just can't believe it's real."

Now _I _was impatient. "I'll make you believe it's real," I said roughly. Alice saw what I was about to do and quickly flew off the bed with the pictures. I pounced on Bella, grabbing her face, kissing her roughly. She was immortal now, as much as she didn't believe it, and I didn't have to be careful. My tongue invaded her mouth, and my teeth ravished her lips.

She was frozen at first, but she opened her mouth willingly. I didn't feel embarrassed as my family stared at the two of us making out on a bed. Their thoughts were quite different from each other's, though. Rosalie was mentally gagging, Jasper was starting to eye Alice as he felt both of our sexual emotions, and Emmett was thinking, _Edward's gonna get laid! _Alice found it funny, and Carlisle and Esme simply stared at each other, not really sure how to react.

But all of this was lost as Bella and I kissed. We had never kissed like this before, and she was starting to get a little grabby. Finally, Carlisle cleared his throat, and we both paused.

"So I'm really a vampire?" she asked warily.

"Yes," I chuckled. "You believe us now?"

"Well, I could never imagine you kissing me like that…even if it was a hallucination. How long have I been…er, like you?"

"Ever since you opened your eyes," I said, stroking her hair. "We just changed you."

She frowned. "I can't remember anything. Just…hallucinations. But real hallucinations this time."

"Bella," Carlisle said. "What do you mean?"

Bella shrugged, and I positioned her so she was sitting in my lap. "I don't know, Carlisle. I've been…dreaming for a long time now. Sometimes I dream about the past, when I was little and I lived with my mom. Sometimes I dream about the future. Sometimes I dream about high school and my friend Jake." She froze. "Very weird dreams about Jacob, actually."

Carlisle glanced at me quizzically.

"Sweetheart," I said softly. "You've been in a coma for over two months."

Her eyes widened, and she looked as if she felt sick. "Wh-what?"

I nodded in grief. "You've been battling cancer for a long time."

She slowly looked over to Carlisle. "Have you been treating me?"

"We both have," Carlisle said. "Edward is a doctor now. But anyways, you've been having dreams for a long time?"

Bella nodded. "Yeah…"

Carlisle suddenly smiled smugly. "I guess I now know what humans experience when they're comatose."

The doctor in me marveled with him at this discovery. I didn't know why I couldn't hear comatose patients' minds, and it had always bothered me. But Bella's mind was supernaturally sharpened now, and she could remember her state of mind for the past few weeks.

"So they dream," Carlisle murmured. "What kind of dreams did you say, Bella?"

Bella shrugged. "My family. Edward. You guys. Jacob…" She paused. "Jacob dreams were bizarre…he turned into a wolf or a bear or something."

I watched as my family members exchanged looks with each other.

"Uh, love?" I said lightly. "Jacob _does_ turn into a wolf. He's…a werewolf. A shape-shifter."

She stared at me blankly.

"It's true," Alice piped up. "You found that out while you were in treatment. Bella, can I _please_ brush your hair? You've made quite a mess of it."

Esme touched Alice's shoulder and shushed her.

"So Jacob isn't human?" Bella asked.

I shook my head. "Not entirely."

She sighed heavily and dismissed that thought. "Carlisle, when will I get my memory back? I feel so lost. I can't remember anything after you all left Forks, but I know that something's there."

Carlisle came and sat on the foot of the bed, placing a comforting hand on her knee. "Bella, as a vampire, your human memories are always foggy. I barely remember anything of my human days except for the major facts. But memory loss is common among people who wake up from extended comas. I just don't know if your memories will come back, Bella, because now your body and your frozen mental maturity will never move forward."

She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Hey, Bells," Emmett suddenly said, coming to punch her playfully in the shoulder. "We'll work that out. But you should just enjoy being a vampire right now. You know, go hunting or go lift a car or something. Want to arm-wrestle?"

Bella laughed lightly. "You know Emmett, you're right. So what do you vampires usually do for fun this time of night?"

Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice snickered. Bella suddenly wore her embarrassed face, and I waited for the beautiful blush to spread across her cheeks. I was a bit startled when I realized that blush would never come.

"Never mind," Bella said. "Uh, Edward, where are we?"

"In my family's house in Alaska," I told her.

"Can we go somewhere so we can…talk?"

Jasper's jaw dropped. "You're not thirsty?" he gasped.

She frowned. "Well…now I am, now that you mention it. I mean, I _guess_ that's why my throat is burning."

Carlisle held my gaze again before turning back to his new daughter. "Bella, you don't feel like you're about to go mad with thirst?"

She shook her head. "No, it's quite controlled."

He tapped his chin. "Edward, I think we may have found Bella's special ability."

Her eyes lit up. "I have an ability? Like Edward and Alice and Jasper?"

Carlisle smiled and shrugged. "Why not call it that? You're the only newborn I've seen who hasn't tried to kill everybody in sight."

Bella thought this over, and then smiled triumphantly. "Cool. But now that we're talking about it, I _am_ thirsty." She looked at me hopefully. "Can we go hunting?"

"Absolutely," I said, kissing her forehead. I stood up and offered her my hand. "Come along, my love."


	23. Part III Dawn

**Author's Note:** I thought I was going to end this story quite abruptly, but Edward, Bella, Jacob, _and_ Sarah all screamed at me. "No!" they shouted. "That's not how it's supposed to end!" So I'm listening to these know-it-alls that have possessed my mind. Wish me luck.

**Disclaimer:** As much as I wish I was swimming in Stephenie Meyer's genius and money, I'm not. She owns it all.

Part III, Chapter Three: "Dawn" Bella's POV

I leaned against the tree trunk, absolutely full. The deer I had just slaughtered sort of pleased my need, but not necessarily my desires. The blood really wasn't that appetizing. Edward assured me that animal blood never tasted delicious, but we would travel the world to find an animal I could call my favorite.

He also regretfully told me that the burning would always be present, but it would get easier with time and practice. But somehow it only hurt when I was thinking about it. He chalked this up to being my "ability". At first I was disappointed that it wasn't something cool like teleporting or mind control, but then I decided that I was fine with it. I had feared my bloodthirsty newborn days, and I was happy to forgo them.

After Edward drained his mountain lion (I tasted some of that blood and didn't like it any more than the deer), he simply started running through the forest and climbing trees. It was exhilarating to be able to run as fast as he could, but eventually watching the motions of his body were really bringing other feelings of exhilaration into my body. I caught up with him and knocked him to the ground, kissing his bloody mouth and cleaning him up with my venom. He laughed under my kiss and we started rolling playfully.

"Want to get out of here?" he asked a moment later.

I nodded. He stood up, took my hand, and we ran through the woods to his Volvo that was parked in the garage of his house. Since we were in Alaska, we didn't have a private place to be together. Still wanting to run, I let him open the passenger's door for me and slid into the car.

"You're a mess," he chuckled as he appraised me in the car. It was true. My front was coated in blood. I wasn't exactly a skilled eater yet, but he promised me I would improve.

It was a bit boggling. I knew I had spent years wanting to be a vampire so I could "improve". I had looked at it sort of like upgrading my vintage Chevy wreck to a sleek new Italian sports car. But now that I was immortal, I still needed to improve so much to be one of the smooth, sophisticated Cullens.

"I know," I laughed. "Want to clean me up when we get home?"

Along with the speed and strength, I was sure as hell looking forward to vampire sex. Edward wouldn't have to be careful with me…and with my heightened abilities, I could feel every ounce of pleasure that he could.

He drove down an unfamiliar road. "Where are you going?" I asked him.

"Seattle, to our apartment," he replied. When he saw my confused face, he explained, "We share an apartment."

"_We_ do?" I asked. "As in…you and me?"

He nodded. "Yes, I'm afraid we do shack up. Quite improper for an unmarried couple, I know." That beautiful crooked smile appeared on his face. "My Victorian upbringing should be reeling against this, but I don't quite care at the moment."

I laughed. "I feel so lost. I mean, I feel like I should know all of this…but I don't."

"Hey, remember Emmett's advice," he reminded me. "We'll work on that. Why don't we take part in some vampire activities?"

I snorted. "And what would that be? You actually want to lift the Volvo?"

"No," he replied seriously. "Actually, I was thinking of making love all night long."

I gasped at his words, but he seemed to be serious. He drove through a lot of darkness, and I wondered how long it would take to drive from Alaska to Seattle. I was surprised to see that it was only a couple of hours. Hours that were killing me. I also suspected he was killing the Volvo by pushing it so hard, but I said nothing.

Finally, we saw the city lights, and he pulled up to an unfamiliar building. Edward was quickly out of the car. In a swift motion, he had _me_ out of the car and was running into the building and up the stairs. He must have been too impatient to wait on the elevator.

He managed to swiftly unlock the door, slammed it shut, and ran, dropping both of us on the bed. His mouth explored mine as he straddled me, and his hands were ripping off the dress Alice had put on my unconscious body. I realized with a startle that I, too, could rip _his_ clothes off. Hoping he wasn't particularly fond of the shirt he wore, but not caring enough to ask, I used my newfound strength to rip it down the middle and off his body. His belt came next--I didn't even unbuckle it, I just ripped through the leather. Finally his jeans and boxers. He laughed as he ripped me completely naked, and finally we could explore each other.

His mouth ran down my body, leaving bites everywhere. For some reason, I was _really_ turned on by the feeling of his teeth against my granite skin. It was strange because as a human, I found hickeys disgusting. Some small part of my brain suddenly remembered Alice telling me about what vampires found sexy. "Biting is really hot," she had said. "Jasper loves for me to use my teeth."

"Wait!" I shouted, causing Edward to freeze.

"What did I do wrong?" he gasped, immediately using his warm fingers to rub my hip, where he had been biting. How strange--Edward was warm now.

"Nothing," I said. "I just remembered something."

His butterscotch eyes widened. "What?"

I shook my head. "A conversation with Alice…about sex." I felt like blushing, but of course no blood flowed to my stone face.

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Er, okay. What else can you remember?"

My memory was blank again. "Nothing," I sighed. "I guess that was just a flash. I mean, that conversation could have happened when I was still a junior in high school."

I had found, while hunting, that my memory could suddenly remember everything up to my cancer diagnosis. Everything after that was wiped out. I still couldn't remember where that conversation fit in, though. I prayed it had happened recently, and my memory was slowly coming back.

"You talked about sex with Alice in high school?" he asked, that beautiful crooked grin on his face.

I grabbed a pillow and hit him with it. "Oh, Edward, shut up! I know you talked to Jasper and Emmett about it."

He shrugged. "I was a lot older than you."

"And still a virgin," I teased.

"Up until you deflowered me a few months ago." He snatched the fluffy pillow from my hands and hit me back.

I frowned. "We…had sex?"

He nodded. "Yes…"

"In this bed?"

"Yes. I also proposed to you in this bed."

I stared at my engagement ring--the only thing besides my skin that I was wearing. "Wow. I really can't remember that."

He sighed. "I'll be right back."

"Don't leave," I said, taking his hand. Edward had been separated from me for so long; I was so comfortable with him but I was terrified of losing him again.

"I'll be right back, love." He kissed my hand before turning and walking to the closet. I saw how aroused he was, and I felt bad for interrupting our foreplay. But I was _so_ lost…I needed answers.

He quickly came back, holding a box. He plunked it down on the bed and came and sat beside me, kissing my mouth. "I have a gift for you," he said.

"Oh?" I stared at the box.

"Yes. You can look at it, if you'd like."

I peered into the dusty box. "Books?"

He chuckled. "Journals, actually. Journals dating back to the first day I ever saw you."

I gasped, insanely curious, but the rational side of me made me shake my head. "No, Edward. These are private. I can't read these."

"I'm giving them to you," he replied, pulling the first one out. "Maybe these can jog your memory."

I just simply stared at him, biting my lip.

"Okay, then," he smiled gently. "I'll read to you. Let's see…let's skip the beginning; maybe when you actually have the desire to kill someone you should read this."

I gave one hard chuckle, praying that desire would never come. "Too scary for a newborn vampire?"

His eyes suddenly closed, and he smiled. "You know," he whispered. "I've been fighting that possibility for so long now, and now that it's a reality…I'm stunned."

Fear washed through me. "Is it a good 'stunned' or a bad 'stunned'?" _What if Edward doesn't want me anymore? What if I'm no longer __**his**__ Bella?_

"Good, definitely good," he said, relieving me. "Don't ever think it's not. I have you for eternity. What more could I ask for?"

I smiled at him and bent to kiss him. As I rolled on top of him, I kicked the box off the bed, hoping Edward wouldn't mind me slightly abusing his journals. He didn't seem to. I was dying to read his journals, to finally get into his mind, but my body had other needs.

He seemed to agree with me. We kissed and touched and whispered, eventually making love for hours on our bed. To me, this was our first time. This was all I could remember.

And it was perfect.

Finally, just as dawn was breaking through the windows, we both collapsed on the mattress, wrapped in each other's arms. We were both breathing heavily, though we didn't need the oxygen. I found that it was comfortable and pleasurable, though.

"That was…" I gasped.

"Incredible," Edward filled in for me.

"I was thinking _perfect_."

"Flawless."

I laughed and stretched my neck to kiss his cheek. "I've just decided--immortality is great."

"Just think--we have an entire eternity of that ahead of us."

I giggled like a schoolgirl. I liked that idea.

I finally caught my breath and snuggled into his side. "It feels weird not being sleepy. Just lazy."

He shrugged. "You'll get used to it. I might be feeling lazy a lot, so we can just lay in bed together." His hand ran down my back.

"I agree," I said, closing my eyes. I suddenly remembered his gift to me--the journals. "Edward?" I asked.

"Yes, love?"

"Will you read to me?" I breathed in his incredible scent. He smelled better than any flower, perfume, or food I had ever experienced.

"From the journals?"

"Yes."

"Of course."

He quickly moved to pick up the box and came back to lay next to me. He opened his arms, book in hand, and allowed me to worm back so I could shape myself around him.

"Comfortable?" he teased.

I knew he was teasing, because I hadn't felt uncomfortable once since I had woken up. Being a vampire meant every position felt like floating in a cool pond. Everything felt perfect. "Yes," I replied, kissing his muscled bicep as his arms wrapped around me. "I'm ready."

He flipped through the pages. "March 2nd, 2005. I saw the most beautiful girl in the world tonight…"


	24. Part III Wrong

**Author's Note:** Yup, I love this chapter. I love any chance I get to write out Edward's romantic side. The actual words of the entry are in italics so you don't get them confused with Bella and Edward's conversation.

FYI, as I have begun to write these journal entries, I went to the Twilight Lexicon's timeline to find suitable dates for the entries. So if you think the dates are skewed, take it up with the lovely ladies at the Lexicon. They confirmed the dates with Stephenie Meyer, so good luck arguing that one.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_ or the Twilight Lexicon. Bummer.

Part III, Chapter Four: "Wrong" Bella's POV

"March 2nd, 2005," he read. "_I saw the most beautiful girl in the world tonight_." He suddenly stopped and glanced down at me. "Now I know I was wrong. I'm seeing the most beautiful girl in the world _this_ very night."

I rolled my eyes and kissed his ear. "Keep reading."

"_I saw the most beautiful girl in the world tonight_," he read. "_After hearing every thought of those vile excuses for men named Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie, and Tyler Crowley, I just had to go see Bella Swan. But of course I couldn't actually walk up to her; that just wouldn't be proper. So I'm afraid I did something extremely improper: I crawled into her bedroom window as she slept._"

I giggled. "You sound like a teenage stalker."

He rolled his eyes and started to read again from his elegant handwriting. "_The fact that those lowlife teenage boys even thought of asking her out repulsed me, but what terrified me even more was that I didn't know what she thought of them. I can honestly say that Isabella Swan is the most maddening human I have ever met. She reigns my mind constantly. She is just a little mystery I am dying to unlock. That silent mind drives me almost as crazy as those beautiful brown eyes. Like I said, she is maddening as hell.  
_

"_Anyway, I climbed into her window and sat in the rocking chair in the corner. She was sound asleep, but tossing and turning. I literally nearly chewed through my lip and fingernails as I wondered who the hell she was dreaming of--not such an easy feat for a vampire! She was mumbling, but it was a lot of nonsense about green plants and brown sand and her mother forgetting to pay the cactus the attention it needed. Honestly, my first thought was 'Bella has a cactus?' It was such a random fact that it made me chuckle. But as she muttered in her sleep--quite enthralling me, I might add--I realized that I was falling in love._

"_It happened when the moonlight washed through her window. I, of course, could see her face perfectly without it, but the white light seemed to make her glow radiantly. And then I realized that she was simply the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in one-hundred years. Her skin was ivory, the rarest, most beautiful shade you can imagine. Her luscious mahogany hair swirled around her beautiful face, enveloping her in a scent of…strawberries? As much as I hate human food, her version of strawberries was so damn appealing I wanted to take her body and make love to her right then and there_."

Edward suddenly stopped and glanced at me, worried.

I laughed again. "What is that look for?"

He shrugged. "I've never admitted this to anybody but my journal," he said quietly. "I can't believe you're not making fun of me."

"I could never make fun of your honesty," I replied. "I just hope my lovemaking didn't disappoint you."

"Never," he promised, kissing my lips. "You went above and beyond my wildest dreams."

"You did, too," I admitted.

He kissed me one more time before turning back to the book. "_Her lavender eyelids lay gracefully across the little pools of chocolate I was dying to see, her long eyelashes casting shadows across the alabaster of her cheeks. The straight line of her nose, the height of those beautiful cheekbones, and the shape of her mouth nearly crippled me. Her cute little chin even managed to have an effect on me. My eyes wandered to her neck, and I wanted to touch it so badly…just to smell it…_

"_But I knew I couldn't. She was far too delicate and I was far too feral. So I sat a safe distance from her and drank in her beauty. Finally, her words grew louder and more forceful, and she seemed like she was speaking to someone she really loved. A small part of my brain wondered if she was yelling at her mom for not taking care of the cactus, but then she said something completely unexpected._"

Edward stopped and stared into my eyes. "_That perfect creature said my name._"

I smiled at him, not breaking his gaze. We stayed like that for a few moments, just enjoying each other's company. Finally, he turned back to the journal.

"_Fireworks shot through me, as cliché as that may sound. I have never felt so alive in one-hundred years--never! Something was aroused deep inside of me. It was sexual desire, of course, but it was also something else. I searched my vast expanses of knowledge before I finally realized what it was. Deep, meaningful, irrevocable, irreversible, impossible love._

"_But now I find myself in a terrible predicament. As much as I love to love Isabella Swan--Bella--my Bella…oh hell, the more I realize how much I love her, the more I realize that she is definitely not my Bella. I hate to love her as much as I love to love her. This is an impossible dream, an unattainable wish, something that should never happen. I am a monster. She is a flawless, delicate human. True, she is the most beautiful flawless, delicate human I have ever laid these golden eyes on, but still. That does not take any horror out of this monster within me._

"_And what really hurts is not that I know this **should** never happen. The real pain flows from the fact that this never **will **happen. It's impossible. Bella, oh that beautiful Bella, will end up with someone like Mike Newton or Tyler Crowley or hell, maybe one of those Quileute dogs down the road at the reservation. She will never be mine._

"_But, I will always be hers."_

Edward came to the end of the entry for March 2nd, 2005, and smiled down at me. "Thank God I was wrong about you," he murmured.

"Yes," I agreed. "Thank God you were wrong."


	25. Part III Entries

**Author's Note**: I _**REALLY**_ need reviews. They're my own personal brand of heroin. And I need a hit. *snickers*

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Twilight _or anything else that belongs to Stephenie Meyer, but I do own the two-disc edition of _New Moon_! And it is magnificent!

Part III, Chapter Five: "Entries" Bella's POV

Edward sort of skimmed through other entries, including the night he saved me from those creeps in Seattle, and the day he asked me all of those petty questions. While his thoughts were so interesting and flattering to read, something about the first entry he read bothered me.

"'_One of those Quileute dogs down the road at the reservation.'_"

Edward and Alice had told me that Jacob was with me throughout the last part of my cancer battle, and that they had to run him off to save me. I understood the necessity of forcing Jacob away from me, but now I felt horribly guilty. They had sacrificed his heart to save my life. Jacob deserved better.

Curiosity about the past year of my life was killing me--not just about me, Edward, or the Cullens, but about my best friend. I needed to know what happened so I could find a way to make things right. Of course I could never be with Jake the way Edward claimed my friend wanted, but I could still be his friend.

"Edward," I interrupted my fiancé. "Honey, I'm really enjoying this, but I can remember all of this stuff now. Can you maybe read some more recent entries?"

He smiled and nodded. "Of course. I got carried away reminiscing. Hmm, let's see, which journal shall I choose?"

I noticed he skipped a _lot_ of journals. "What are all those?" I asked him.

He pursed his lips. "They're from when I left you."

"Oh." I decided I didn't want to read those at all. He didn't seem to want to revisit those memories, either.

Finally, he pulled one out. "Hmm…" he murmured, flipping through it. "Bella, there is a _lot_ of things in here you need to know."

"Start from the beginning," I said quickly, and then I felt guilty. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to read anymore. I understand if you don't. We've been here for a while."

He softly brushed some hair out of my face. "A lot of this has to do with your treatment," he said softly. "I don't want to relive this right now. I was terrified."

"I understand," I assured him. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Seven in the morning," he replied. "I can assure you that Alice is ready to start planning the wedding."

I shook my head. "Not today, Edward."

"My thoughts exactly," he smiled. "Well, let's see. I'm not really sure what to do now. If you were human, I would make you breakfast and serve it to you in bed."

I laughed. "What about a shower? I feel kind of gritty from last night's hunting."

"And other activities," he reminded me.

"True. You got me kind of dirty, too."

"I'm not apologizing for that." He kissed my lips softly. "I love you, Bella Swan."

"I love _you_, Edward Cullen," I smiled at him. "I'm so happy, even if I'm not entirely sure what is going on."

His hands ran down my sides. "Good. Your happiness is all that matters in my world."

"Are you happy?" I asked him.

"Unequivocally," he declared. "I've never been happier."

After we took a _very_ long and busy shower, Edward received a call from Alice. "Tell her I'm asleep," I joked as he answered.

"Hi, Alice," he chuckled.

I was amazed to find I could hear Alice's voice, loud and clear through the reciever. "Hi, my favorite brother," she crooned.

"What do you want?" Edward rolled his eyes.

"Wedding planning," she demanded sharply, her friendly tone forgotten. "Today."

"Sorry, sis. I don't think I can share Bella right now."

"Bah! I _knew_ you would say that!" she whined.

"Then why did you call me?" he asked.

"Because you needed to know that Charlie is going to call the 'cancer center' around noon, and he'll want to talk to you. So you need to have your butts up here, because we gave him the number to the house up here."

"Oh, _fuck,_" he sighed, and then looked at me apologetically. "We'll be there."

"I'm sorry, Bella," he sighed when he hung up. "I don't think we're going to get our lazy day in bed."

"What does she mean?" I demanded. "Charlie and the cancer center?"

"Technically, you're supposed to still be in a coma," he said. "We had to pretend to get you to a cancer center in order to change you."

I sat on the bed, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Edward? Can I ask a question?"

"Of course, love."

"Why did you have to change me so immediately?"

His golden eyes seemed to burn. "Your heart was failing, sweetheart."

I nodded slowly. "Oh--kay. I see." I was silent for a moment before asking meekly, "Am I supposed to fake my own death when the time comes?"

Edward pursed his lips. "Yes, my love. We've all had to do it."

I nodded again. "Oh…kay."

"We don't have to do that for a long time," he said, taking me into his arms. "I'll let you prepare yourself." He peppered soft kisses in my hair.

I swallowed hard.

"Bella, my love? Are you alright?"

I nodded. "Uh huh. Just give me a minute."

He kissed my forehead and started to hum my lullaby. That tune alone seemed to calm me down, especially since I could now hear every note of his perfect voice.

"You're doing really well so far," he whispered. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you," I whispered back. "Come on, I don't want to make Charlie suspicious."

I dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, knowing Alice would be pissed beyond belief. But it felt good to have something from my human life, especially since I was now grieving over my father and my best friend. Much to my amusement, I caught Edward sniffing at clothes in my closet. "Just to relish your scent," he explained.

I nodded and bent to sniff my clothes. I had to admit they smelled good--almost like flowers. But I wasn't crazy-thirsty or anything.

"Your blood sang for me," he explained. "_La tua cantante._"

"What?" I asked, puzzled.

He shrugged. "Just a vampire term for blood that smells especially appetizing to one vampire. Obviously you haven't found yours yet."

"I hope I never will," I muttered. After hearing horror stories about my new coven's first days as vampires, I was extremely proud of my murder count of zero.

I watched regretfully as Edward dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, not even bothering to look in a mirror. He looked so beautiful. My human eyes were weak; they had never gotten even a glimpse of his true beauty. With my new supernatural sight, I could see that the man who was almost my husband was more radiant than the sun.

"What are you staring at?" he teased, coming over to hug me and playfully slap me on the bottom.

"You're…perfect," I murmured, still in awe.

"Look who's talking." He suddenly pulled back and looked at me. "You haven't seen yourself, have you?"

I shook my head. "Uh, no…"

A bright smile lit his face. "Oh my God! I'm so glad I get to see your first reaction. Now, Bella, you do have the red eyes of a newborn. I don't want them to scare you…" He pulled me excitedly to the bathroom. "Come on, sleepyhead," he laughed.

He covered my eyes before positioning me in front of the mirror. "Okay," he said. "Remember the eyes…they'll eventually turn gold, just like mine. One, two, three!"

He uncovered my eyes, and I gasped.

I didn't recognize the woman in the mirror. She was absolutely stunning.

All of my imperfections had been wiped away and glossed over with natural beauty. Even my figure seemed to be curvier, more pleasing to the eye.

"You're beautiful, love," Edward whispered in my ear. "You've always been beautiful, but you're…" He was beyond words.

Edward was right about the eyes. They did kind of freak me out, but I didn't let that hinder how I viewed the rest of me.

I had always pined to be beautiful in my human life, always finding myself to be plain and inadequate. I could remember dreaming of immortal beauty, and just wishing I could feel like I looked like I belonged next to my glorious lover.

And now, I could say that I did look like I belonged with him. We were more beautiful than any celebrity couple.

"Are you pleased?" he laughed softly.

I nodded. "Yeah…I'm alright," I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Way more than alright," he gently argued. "Have you noticed that you haven't tripped once?"

I had been so shocked to be a freaking vampire that I hadn't noticed that. Suddenly, my face lit up with a smile. "Oh my God! You're right!"

He laughed again. "Mmm, you _would _be pleased over that. You are _so _adorable." He bent and kissed my lips.

I was all for continuing that kiss, but he paused. "Love, we have to make it to Alaska."

"Right," I said, and I cast one last glance at the beautiful woman in the mirror before we left.

However, before we left, I went and grabbed the box of journals. "Reading material while you drive," I explained to Edward.

He gave me some sunglasses to hide my crimson eyes behind, and we were off. I found myself quickly getting lost in the entries.

_September 16, 2010_

_Today is the worst day in my long life. First, it's the anniversary of the day I left Bella. Five years--I can't believe it. I can't believe I've survived that long without her. I can remember a time when an hour without my love was absolute torture. Now we've been apart for five years. I can't even imagine the woman she has become in the past five years. I wonder what her new favorite foods are, her favorite movies, if she still wears that color blue…_

_But there is a matter of bigger import. Alice has seen a vision of Bella being diagnosed with cancer._

_There are absolutely no words for this. I'm suddenly even more dead than I have ever been._

_We are moving back to Seattle so Carlisle can treat her. I'm going to secretly help him, since I know her blood better than anyone. But Bella will never see me. It will be as if I never existed, just as I promised five years ago._

_I've already made the decision that if she dies, I'm going to the Volturi immediately. No one, not even Esme, can stop me._

_If there is a God in this cruel life, maybe He will have pity on me and let me spend the afterlife with my forbidden love._

"Edward?" I asked. "What is the _Volturi_?"

He gritted his teeth. "I see you've read September 16."

"Yes."

"The Volturi are basically vampire royalty. They make the laws."

"Laws?"

He pursed his lips. "I guess that since you are a vampire, you should know this. Yes, we have laws. I'll go over them with you later…but if you provoke the Volturi, you die."

Fear stabbed through me. "You weren't going to provoke them, were you?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Either way, we're both here now, alive…or whatever we are."

"_Edward Cullen!_" I gasped. "You are to _never_ have thoughts like that again!"

"There's no reason for me to," he stated simply. "I have eternity to spend with only the most perfect being that has ever existed. Why would I want to die?"

He cast a crooked grin at me, looking at me sideways, so I knew I could believe him. Still a little shaken, I reached up to kiss his cheek. He turned his head to give me a sweet peck on the lips.

I settled back into my seat and kept reading. A lot of it was medical terms I didn't understand, and a lot of depression over my condition, which seemed to be deteriorating rapidly. My heart wrenched as I realized how much this angel truly loved me.

Finally, I made it to a happier entry:

_Everything is so perfect._

_Alice and Emmett, I'm convinced, tricked me into going to Bella's hospital room just as she was awake. She was throwing up violently into the toilet, obviously a side effect from the chemotherapy. I couldn't resist going in and helping her; she was so far away from the nurse's call button and there wasn't anyone for me to send to her. So she collapsed on the floor, and I went to help her._

_The look on her face was absolutely priceless--a mixture of shock and fear but she allowed me to come in and help her. She took me back with open arms. I've never seen a human who is so gracious and forgiving. I wonder what she would be like if she were to become a vampire. Would she be as compassionate as Carlisle? That isn't too hard to imagine._

_There are only a few things I'm sure of anymore. The first, obviously, is that I am irrevocably in love with her. The second is that it will take a long time to build back her trust in me; to convince her that I'm going to stay with her and possibly marry her. (I'm afraid that will take some convincing as well.) And finally, I am absolutely sure of her love for me. Her love is shown through her forgiveness, and as I lie next to her now, her steady breathing tells me she is happy again. And the way she mumbles my name…it's heaven._

I waited for the tears to come before realizing I would never cry again. Edward was simply amazing. I marveled at the idea that I was blessed with someone who matched me so perfectly, like two puzzle pieces. We were meant for each other; I had never been more sure of that than when I read that entry.

The rest of the entries were accounts of my days by his side in the hospital. My mood lifted as I read of how my condition was rapidly improving, and finally, the day came when Edward was joyous about bringing me home. He wrote about apartment-hunting and decorating like a little boy taken to a candy shop. He also wrote about his struggles of lying next to me and not "going too far" with me. I was even more surprised that he wrote down some of his secret fantasies.

"Edward?" I asked. "You really…fantasized about me?"

He closed his eyes, embarrassed. "Uh…yes, love. I did. I still do. As you can see, my daydreams are not very honorable."

I laughed and kept reading. I started to skim through the journals that covered our year of post-leukemia happiness. Many of the entries were a lot alike, until the day that I supposedly tried to seduce him. Somehow, that was hard to read. I had to admit, though, I liked reading about the day that he finally did sleep with me. It made me feel a little regretful that we were in a small car on the way to meet his family…my family.

Finally, I got to the dark part again. My relapse. Edward slipped back into his deep depression as they frantically searched for a bone marrow match. Finally, Jacob volunteered.

_Though I know he will probably not be a match, I must say that I am so grateful to Jacob Black for volunteering his bone marrow. He allowed Carlisle to extract some of his marrow from his hip with a long needle. I know it hurt by his cringe. Despite my prejudice against them, I always considered werewolves to be quite durable and maybe even masochistic. Now I know that even werewolves feel pain from time to time, and that sort of makes them more human in my eyes. More understandable. I owe my long life--ten times over--to Jacob Black simply for not leaving Bella's side and even offering one of his body parts to my fiancée. He really is a good man, once you get past his visual fantasies and his plans and wishes to steal Bella away from me. I can honestly say Bella is the most precious thing to him. How can I hate him for that, when I feel the exact same way?_

I closed my eyes, leaned my head against the headrest, and sighed.

"What is it, my love?" Edward took my hand and kissed the top of it.

"Edward, I need to see Jacob," I said. "To make sure he's okay."

I opened my eyes to see him sigh. "I understand that. But I'm not sure where he's going. His thoughts told me he didn't know where he was going, either."

"Can't we just use Alice to find him?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, love. Alice can't see the wolves. It's something about them that annuls her power…" He sighed. "I don't know how to go about it, Bella," he admitted.

"I'll find out," I vowed, making him run a hand through his hair nervously.


	26. Part III Nightmare

**Author's Note:** Review, review, review! I'll love you for it! *big smile*

No, seriously. Review.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of these characters; I just manipulate them into these sad, tragic tales.

Part III, Chapter Six: "Nightmare" Jacob's POV

Finally tired and so depressed I couldn't move one more step, I collapsed on the snow. I was somewhere in the Canadian wilderness after weeks of running away from Seattle. The voices in my head were shouting at me so loudly, I decided to phase back into a human.

_Ah, much better_, I thought as I settled into the snow. My body was so hot that the coldness didn't bother me; actually, I was probably melting the snow. Naked and exposed--both physically and mentally--I closed my eyes.

Her face haunted every thought. Her creamy skin, her thick brown hair, her sweet brown eyes. They killed me every time I closed my eyes. _How can I go on if I see her face every second of my life?_

I wondered if she was a vampire by now. Probably so, I guessed. It had been six weeks or so since the day I left Seattle. She was probably cold and hard and immortal and married by now. After the spasm of pain shot through me, I wondered which thought bothered me more: Bella being a vampire, or Bella being someone else's wife.

I had always known, from the very moment I saw her with him at her prom, that she would always be attached to her bloodsucker. After he left, it seemed like my suspicions were only confirmed. She held on to him with every ounce of energy she had, voiding her life of anything else. I wished to become her next love, but something told me that it would never happen.

Still, I tried. Time and time again. And I failed. I not only failed with Bella, but I failed with Sarah as well. And as a result, my life was over. I was only floating into a black abyss.

As I lay in the snow, thinking of these, my human ears suddenly perked up. I could hear footsteps--_fast_ footsteps. Too fast to belong to a human. I groaned as I caught the sweet stench in the wind. I did _not_ want to deal with any bloodsuckers right now. I wondered briefly if maybe it would be Victoria, that bitch that my pack had eventually ran off for good. It would feel nice to kill someone right now. And she deserved to die.

Hearing the footsteps growing closer, I phased back into my wolf-form. The echo of appreciative voices filled my head. _Hey, man, you're back!_ they all seemed to say. I simply growled in response, distracted by all of the footsteps. Now that they were coming even closer, I could tell it was not just one vampire. Maybe two.

I rolled over onto my back, staring at the sky, not really feeling like caring about the vampires, but not really wanting to move, either. If it was a feral coven, I could easily take them out. It would be good for me. I could take out all of my frustrations. Easy.

But the smell was too familiar. I had enough experience with leeches to know that they all have different scents. And I had smelled this one before. _Oh, God. Please don't let it be the Cullens, _I prayed. _I really don't need this right now._


	27. Part III Forward

**Author's Note: **This is officially the next-to-last chapter! After these two chapters, this story will be over and I can move on to greener pastures. I hope you'll check out my other _Twilight _stories that will be published very soon.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of this. I'd gladly take Jacob in and make him feel better, though!

Part III, Chapter Seven: "Forward" Bella's POV

Jacob was frozen in his human form, his dark eyes staring into mine, a hard expression on his face. I could tell he was unhappy. Actually, I could tell that he was miserable. He looked like he had been crying, which broke my heart. Jacob was supposed to be my sun. Perpetually happy. Always.

"Jake," I said slowly, noticing his nose was crinkled at my smell. Alice, who was at my side, had warned me that he would stink. And he did. His scent burned my nose and made me want to throw up the blood of the deer I had just drained. Of course, this was purely a human reaction. Vampires didn't just vomit.

"Bella?" he asked softly, unbelieving. He noticed my red eyes and shivered.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm so glad I found you."

"How did you find me if the fortune-telling bloodsucker can't see me?"

I smiled at his nickname for Alice. "I seem to have a penchant for…tracking."

He raised his eyebrows in interest, but he quickly composed himself and pursed his lips. "What do you want?"

"I just want to talk," I said. "I'm not going to bite you or anything."

That seemed to work; a dimple almost appeared. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I want to apologize. And express my thanks. But mostly apologize."

He sighed. "Sure, sure. Hey, shorty," he said to Alice.

"Hi, Jacob," my almost-sister-in-law grinned. "Uh, I think I'm going to go find a moose or something." She gracefully scampered off into the woods, giving us a moment.

"Jake," I said, walking to him, but not yet touching him. "I'm so sorry that they had to drive you away like that."

He shook his head. "It's fine, Bella. I see their efforts were not in vain. You survived it. Sort of."

My heart literally broke in two at his words. He didn't even consider me to be a living thing. "It still makes me feel guilty," I said. "I never meant to end things with you."

"Bella," he sighed, sitting down on the snow. "Things never _began_ between us."

I raised an eyebrow. "I meant our friendship."

He shrugged. "'S not the same thing," he sighed. "I always wanted more out of our relationship than you did."

"I'm sorry for that, Jacob," I said contritely.

He shook his head. "Don't apologize for something you can't control. I've learned recently that you can't force your feelings. It just doesn't work." His eyes grew distant, and I wondered if he was thinking about the girl named Sarah. The girl I didn't remember. The girl I had only heard about.

Feeling slightly awkward, I said, "I also wanted to thank you. Edward informed me of your attempts to help my condition."

"Edward informed you?"

I nodded and stared at the snow. "Yeah. I…don't remember much."

He softly touched my hand, pulling me down to sit next to him. "'Much' meaning…?"

"Anything," I admitted. "I can only remember up to my original diagnosis."

"That sucks," he sighed.

"Yeah. Some of it is coming back. Edward has been letting me read his journals, so I can know everything that happened. I do remember the occasional event…conversations with Alice, riding motorcycles with you…but that's about it."

He snorted. "So you want me to simply help you remember?"

I waited for the blood to hit my cheeks, but of course nothing came. "That wasn't my only motive."

"Okay," he said bitterly. "So besides apologizing, expressing your gratitude, and recovering your memory, what else do you want?"

"I want you to be my friend again," I admitted quietly. "I'm unhappy without you, Jake."

He sighed and flopped down on his back. "God, a guy can't get a break!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, completely confused.

"You want me back in your life?" he demanded. "You really want me to hang out with your bunch of bloodsuckers? Bella, what if I want to travel the world and finally find someone to imprint on?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Imprint? What is that?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Just a wolf thing. Ask your husband to explain it."

"He isn't my husband yet," I replied, showing him my lonely engagement ring. "Our wedding is still in the making."

"I see. When is it?"

"Two weeks away."

"Oh. Well, congratulations," he said flatly.

"Thank you."

"But what if I don't want to sit around and wait for you?" he asked me. "What if I want to just get away from you and forget about you?"

My voice faltered when I answered a minute later. "My heart would shatter in tiny pieces, but I would tell you that I understand and that I hope you find someone who loves you dearly."

He rolled his eyes. "I guess I expected such an answer."

I sighed and took his hand. He flinched from my icy, stony touch. "Jake, I really am sorry about all of this. I never meant for you to love me as more than a friend."

"I never meant for this to happen, either."

"I know. But I'm hoping that you'll still remain my friend."

He sighed. "You know what, Bells?"

A tiny glimmer of hope sparked within me. _Bells. My nickname._ "What, Jake?" I asked, trying to sound light.

"You're a total freak show. All of a sudden, you look like a freaking supermodel, but you have the eyes of Satan. And you haven't tripped once since I've seen you, but your social skills haven't improved."

I laughed quietly. "I'm not good at these heart-to-hearts."

"I know." He chuckled. "Listen. I know you're the freaking undead and all, but you're still my friend. We've had too many good memories together. And I would like to help you recover those memories, but I have to do some healing of my own, Bella. My heart has been ripped out of me. Sometimes you have to work on yourself first before you can work on anybody else."

I nodded. "That's understandable."

He sighed. "You probably need to leave, Bells. To give us both some time. Because you're hurting over me, too."

"I know I am," I whispered. "Just in a different way."

He nodded. "I'm very aware of that."

I sighed. "I really don't want to go, Jake…"

He smiled and squeezed my hand. "Honey, you have a good man who is waiting on you and worrying about you right now. I've been around him enough to know him that well."

I nodded. Jacob was, of course, probably right. "Yeah. Um, you have my cell phone number, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'll keep in touch."

"Good," I said, relieved. Jacob always kept his word. "I, uh, have something for you."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

I nodded and pulled the thick envelope out of my purse. His eyes grew darker as he took it from me and looked at the creamy stationary. "Um…thanks," he said dully.

"You don't have to come," I said. "Actually, I understand if you don't. I won't be mad at you. But you are, figuratively, my best man, and I would love to have you there. Plus we'll have killer food. But only if you come, because you'll be the only one actually eating there."

"Charlie won't be there?" he asked me, raising his eyebrows.

I shook my head. "No. He still thinks I'm in a coma. I'll probably have to fake my death pretty soon."

Was it my imagination, or did I see tears fill his eyes? He nodded. "I guess I expected that. Um…well…it was nice seeing you." His arms opened to give me a hug.

I held my body against his, trying not to lose it. "You, too, Jake," I replied. "I, uh, hope to see you there."

He smiled sadly. "We'll see."

I quickly kissed his cheek before standing up and running over the trail of Alice's scent. I finally found her in a tree.

"Finished already?" she asked, surprised.

I nodded. "Yeah."

She hopped down and hugged me, holding her nose. "And…?"

"And it's all good," I said, shrugging. "I've made my peace with him. We'll keep in touch. I gave him the wedding invitation."

She smiled. "Good. Come on, Edward is about to have a heart attack."

We ran back to her car, and she assumed the driver's position. As I rode shotgun, I recounted the conversation in my mind.

I had hoped that our reunion would be longer and more affectionate and less icy. But it seemed to be appropriate. He was working to get over me; I was working to balance my life with my male best friend and my fiancé. Long and affectionate wouldn't have been so great, after all.

I did feel better, though. I felt as if I had laid any inklings of a romantic relationship between me and Jake to rest. I felt like I didn't have to feel guilty whenever I kissed Edward. I felt like things were finally falling back into place.

When we made it into Juneau, Alice turned to me, trying to smile as angelically as possible. "Uh, do you mind if we make a side trip?"

"Not at all," I said. "Where are we going?"

"I just need to go to the florist and make sure they have our order right."

"Okay, cool," I said, seriously grateful that my maid of honor was a natural party planner, and I didn't have to do anything. She seemed to be pleasantly surprised that I wasn't arguing.

As Alice drove to the florist, I felt that sense of relief again. I could look away from my unburied relationship with Jacob and look forward to the future. I could look forward to my marriage and my life with Edward. I could even look forward to my reborn friendship with Jacob. For some reason, something told me that we would remain friends.

And I couldn't wait for my future.

Suddenly, I was looking forward to a lot.


	28. Epilogue

**Author's Note**: FINAL CHAPTER!!!! YAY!!! Now that this little story is over (okay, it's been a long story, and I'm glad to have it finished), I'm going to start publishing my next stories. I have a total of six storylines in my head, none of them as intense as this little saga I have written. I'm not sure which I'll do first, but I can assure you my one-shots will be published right after I publish this very chapter. So when you finish this chapter, press that button, review it, and then go read my one-shots. And review them as well!

**Disclaimer**: After two stories with me, you would think everyone would know that I don't own _Twilight_. Still, I have to put this. Oh, well.

**Disclaimer II**: I can't promise this ending will satisfy everybody, but I hope it satisfies most. Let me know what you think…with a REVIEW!!!

Epilogue: Jacob's POV

"Jake!" Billy greeted me as I walked into his house. I smiled and bent to give my father a big hug. "It's been too long," he said, tears rolling down his face.

I nodded. "I know, Dad. I'm sorry. It hasn't been fair to leave you for five years, especially in your condition."

He laughed. "What condition? I've been doing fine! Charlie Swan and Sue Clearwater got married, so they've been making a joint effort to help me out."

"They're _married_?" I asked, surprised.

He nodded. "Yup. It's been good for Charlie. It keeps his mind off Bella." He pursed his thick lips. "How is she, son?"

Billy was the only person in Washington--besides me--who knew Bella's real fate. Everyone believed that Bella had finally lost her battle with leukemia, that her heart had finally given out after a year in a coma. But my father and I knew that she was alive and well--joyfully married to her soul mate and traveling the world with her coven. I hadn't talked to her in a few months, but I knew she was happy. And I was happy for her.

"She's good," I answered Billy's question. "Very good."

His eyes slanted. "And how are _you_?"

"I'm excellent."

"You look older."

I laughed. "I am. I haven't phased in about four and a half years."

He raised his eyebrows, and I noticed the deep signs of _his_ aging. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "It's time for some normalcy. I've been hoping to find a good human girl who wouldn't be affected by our little horror story. I don't even consider myself to be part-wolf anymore."

He nodded. "Don't turn your back on who you are, son."

"I'm not. I still have our awesome tattoo, don't I?"

Billy laughed. "Good. Tonight Sam and Emily are having a celebration dinner."

"Celebrating what?"

"Emily's pregnant again," he replied. "Sophie is so excited to be a big sister."

I smiled. "I bet. I wonder if the rug-rat even remembers me."

He shrugged. "Who knows? She's a sweet kid, though. Do you want to go to the dinner?"

"Of course. Let me get settled in first, though."

"How long are you staying, Jacob?" Billy asked me.

I shrugged as I went to my room. "Not sure," I called. "We'll see."

"Take your time," Billy called as he wheeled to the living room. His words made me feel bad; I knew I hadn't been fair to him.

But in my journey, I had finally made sense of my life. I lived in Alaska, working at an auto-repair shop. Like I had told Billy, I had turned away from the werewolf life; now I was completely human. It made life easier. Bella and the rest of the Cullens didn't even stink anymore.

The thought made me laugh quietly, and I picked up the phone to dial the familiar number.

"Hello?" the sweet, pretty voice answered.

"Bells," I said. "It's Jake."

"Oh, hey, Jake! Long time, no see! Where are you?"

"I'm at Billy's house in La Push."

"Awesome. I didn't recognize the number. What are you doing there?"

"I'm just hanging out with Billy," I replied. "I felt like I needed to come home and see him. See the rest of the gang."

"Yeah. I would love to see people in Forks and La Push." She sighed wistfully.

"Anyways, what are you doing?"

"We're in Brazil," she said.

"The whole family?" And that was true; I really did consider the Cullens to be a _family_ rather than a _coven_.

"No, just me and Edward. We're taking another honeymoon."

"I see. Tell him I said hello."

"Will do."

"Since you're on a _honeymoon_ and it's _nighttime_ in Brazil," I teased, "I'll let you go. But call me back when you get back to Alaska. I want to hang out."

"Oh, shut up," she chuckled at my first statement. "And I will. It was nice to hear your voice, Jake."

"You, too. Love you, Bells."

"Love you, too, Jake."

I hung up smiling.

Sam and Emily's party was great. Everyone treated me as if I had been there the whole time. I really loved this crowd. Of course, they all phased and started a wrestling match. Quil and Paul tried to convince me to join them in werewolf wrestling, but I just shook my head. I wanted to just watch and remain a human.

But around nine PM, my world was turned upside down when a certain guest walked into the trimmed yard.

Brown hair blew in the wind, and blue eyes stared at me, wide. My mouth fell open when I saw her. She was older, and she was beautiful.

Emily quickly stood up to go hug Sarah. Sarah put her tray of food on the table, still watching me. Billy elbowed me in the side. "Be cordial," he whispered.

"Um, hello, Sarah," I said, standing to hug her.

She hugged me loosely. "Hi, Jacob."

"How are you?" I asked her.

"I'm well," she said. I snuck a glance at her left hand. No wedding ring.

We were interrupted by Old Quil Ateara's booming voice. "Gather around," he instructed everyone. "It's time for our histories."

It had been far too long since I had done this. We all sat around the fire, Old Quil at the head of the circle, and he began the familiar legends. I felt utterly at home, at rest, at ease as I settled into this still-familiar routine. I relished the great stories, still feeling quite acquainted with the characters. It was as if I knew them. As if they were old friends.

However, Old Quil took an unexpected turn when he made an announcement. Embry had apparently imprinted. I glanced at his face and saw him beaming--he was literally the picture of happiness.

"Where's the unlucky girl?" I asked him.

He sighed. "She had to miss this shindig and study for a test. She's working on her Master's degree in Biology."

_Jeez, a smart girl. Embry did well._

But Old Quil took this piece of news as an invitation to tell even more legends--all about imprinting. As I stared at Sam and Emily, Quil and Claire, Jared and Kim, and Seth and his imprint-ee Chloe, I felt quite alone. All of these imprint stories were really wearing on my nerves.

One story I had never heard of, though, was Old Quil's last story, and I found myself identifying with it deeply. It involved a werewolf named Q'wati who abandoned his life as a wolf for a few years. He lived a lonely life in which he didn't find a wife. Finally, after a few years of living only as a human, he phased again, and when he returned back to his human form, he imprinted on his neighbor that he had seen a million times. They were married and had many children. Old Quil chalked this phenomenon up to he was a new werewolf when he returned to his wolf self.

I found myself musing over this. Though I did not want to go back to living as a wolf-human mutant, I did want the imprinting experience. I was an extremely lonely man who hadn't even kissed anybody since Sarah. I did want to find a wife, and eventually, I did want to be a father. Those seemed like unattainable dreams.

After the legends were over, normal conversation picked up again, along with the snacking of Emily's delicious food. I gathered from conversation that Sarah was now living in Seattle, working as a nurse at a hospital. She was single, and she joked with Emily and Leah about finding a man. I found myself watching her quite a lot until she left around midnight.

"Someone's interested," Quil said lowly.

I glared at him. "Oh, come on. That's ancient history."

"Uh huh," he said, sounding completely unconvinced.

The wrestling started up again, and then racing through the woods became a popular competition. I sat with Billy and Emily, who had little Sophie in her lap, asleep. We were talking about Alaska and my job and my plans for the future. Neither seemed surprised when I admitted I hadn't really thought about my future much.

Emily stood up to go put Sophie to bed, and Billy looked at me as soon as she left. "Jake, I can tell you're bored. Why not phase and go hang out with your brothers and sister?"

I shook my head. "I'm not sure I even know how to anymore."

"Oh, we'll see about that!" said a human voice, and I turned around to see Embry standing there with a brown wolf I recognized as Quil. Suddenly, Quil pounced on me, careful not to scratch my skin, but scaring the Jesus out of me.

Instinctively, I exploded. My clothes ripped to shreds as I became a wolf, and I was, needless to say, very angry. Embry phased as well, and soon, I was trying to sink my teeth into them for revenge.

What I had meant to be a very short fight turned into a fierce all-night competition between me and the other wolves. It felt good, almost wild, to be an animal again, and I found myself wondering why the hell I had abstained from this. I was still a good fighter; I found myself winning a lot of my battles.

Finally, sometime around three AM, I called it a night, phased back into a human, and went home to Billy. Exhausted, I collapsed onto my bed and fell into a deep sleep that was full of dreams of…Sarah.

The next morning, I woke up and went to the kitchen, where Billy was eating a bowl of cereal. "'Morning, son," he greeted me.

"'Morning," I said groggily.

He laughed. "Tired?"

I nodded. "I'm not used to using that much energy. I forgot how much energy it takes to simply phase."

He smiled. "I bet. I left a plate at Sam and Emily's last night. Would you go pick it up for me?"

"After a shower," I replied.

The shower did make me feel better, and I arrived at Sam and Emily's feeling happy. I waited as Emily searched for the plate and then washed it.

Just as she was washing it, the door opened, and familiar footsteps walked in. My senses, heightened again after phasing that one time, could smell the drops of her perfume on her skin. Such familiar perfume…such _sweet_ perfume. The hair on the back of my neck raised as I realized who was behind me.

"Sarah!" Emily exclaimed. "Thanks for coming over, sweetie. I have your shirt for you that you wanted me to fix. Let me go get it." She dashed out of the room, leaving quite an awkward silence between me and Sarah. I kept my eyes fixed on the cabinets, not wanting to look at Sarah. _Way _too awkward.

"Are you going to speak to me?" she asked quietly. Her voice was sad, and she had to clear her throat, which told me she wanted to cry.

I spun around to face her, and my world stopped.

Suddenly, everything paused, and I could only focus on her face. Every ounce of tension I had felt melted, along with everything else in my world. Bella was gone, Billy was gone, my brothers were gone, _Jacob Black_ was gone.

Everything revolved around this one little point in the universe. Suddenly, Sarah Elizabeth Miller was the only thing in the world that mattered. My world revolved around her. My being longed for her, and I knew that if I went one more minute without her, I would surely die.

She stared into my eyes, the beautiful blue about to spill over with tears. I slowly walked to her and took her face in my hands. We stared at each other for an immeasurable amount of time before I leaned down and softly pressed my lips to hers.

When I pulled away and looked at her, she smiled and the tears ran down her cheeks. "Jake," she whispered. "I've missed you."


End file.
